Olympics - Part I

Well, the Olympics have begun. Most of what I saw of the Opening Ceremonies was at a bar with the sound off, but it looked cool. I enjoy all the outfits and love the countries with only one or two athletes. It was cool to see everyone so excited and the little boy with Yao Ming was nice.

Now on to the sports.
Let's see, yesterday morning saw some women's team handball. France vs. Angola. Big Rivalry.
Also saw women's Volleyball US/Japan and mens v-ball US/Venezuela. Yes, all classic match-ups.
Today was Redeem Team against China. It was entertaining. Lots of dunks. Really, I think the work has already been done. Just practicing and taking it seriously should be enough. All the players wanna play and win the gold. I don't see that not happening.
Also saw beach volleyball in the pouring rain, cycling in the rain and some swimming. Good day.

Unfortunately, I am on the bus right now and can only watch what is on NBC. Boo-urns. The plethora of Olympic coverage on MSNBC, Bravo, and all the rest is not available for me. Dang. So sorry, you won't get updates on random sports.
I did make my first random Olympic bet, though. I have a bet on Women's Team Handball China vs Romania. I took Romania and am not to confident with my pick.
C'mon Romania!

Blog Improvements

I need some feedback. I am attempting to improve the settings of this blog - appearance, url, etc.
I'm thinking first about changing the url, basically getting rid of the blogspot portion. This will only cost $10 so I don't mind. Unfortunately, bigdunc.com is already taken. I could go with bigdunc.net or bigduncblog.com. Do you think either of these would be better than the blogspot one?
Second, I think I need some sort of logo. Anyone have any idea how to do that? Also, I might put some ads up and other search feature on the right side. Basically, I'm trying to take this blog out of the minor leagues. I feel the content is strong and we need more readers.

Updates

A few quick updates.

#1) I'll be back on the bus starting tomorrow. Yes! Provides for more work, more fun, more blog potential.



#2.) Olympics- yes I guess the opening ceremonies have already happened. And sports, or at least soccer started a few days ago. I've seen a lot of bloggers out there hating on the Olympics, but I for one love them. Once every four years I will watch swimming and track and field. And if you stay up late at night, you'll catch the occasional field hockey, water polo, or team handball match. Oh, and don't forget about Lebron, Kobe, D-Wade, Dwight Howard and the rest.
3.) Brett Favre - So I believe the saga is completed. Brett Favre is a member of the NY Jets. Weird.
But I am ok with it. It'll be much like Montana on the Chiefs might do ok and even make the playoffs, but as Montana is always a 49er, Favre is always a Packer. I wish he would of stayed retired, but this might be the best solution after the way things have gone down the past month.


See ya'll on the road!

Biggest Movie Douchebags

Alright, I've decided to put together a list of the biggest douchebags in movies. It's a tough list to compile. For one, it's sometimes hard to define a d-bag, and two, there are so many of them out there in cinema. For my purposes, a douchebag is a jerk and an a-hole with a horrible personality that somehow thinks themself awesome and superior to everyone else.
So you'll have some characters that are jerks and awful and you totally hate, but they aren't really d-bags, sometimes they are even worse, but not D-Bags. Think the Nazi guy in Schindler's List, Commodus in Gladiator, and and Bob Ewell in To Kill a Mockingbird. Horrible characters and fit some of the criteria, but something else more complex is going on there.
The D-bag is also pretty formulaic. They usually aren't in great movies, but comedies and sports movies where you need a super hateable villain.
Make sense? Oh, you know what a douchebag is.


Honorable Mention: Joey in 10 Things I Hate About You, the Black Panther Boyfriend in Forest Gump, the towns people in Hoosiers, Remember the Titans, and Radio, the owner in Major League - gosh, why would you not want your team to win, and the crazy badass Indian in Last of the Mohicans. That guy was such a douche even his fellow Indians called him out. Ouch




15.) Old Mom - Goonies

Um, I heard someone say women can't be d-bags, but I think not. Have you seen this movie? She is a d-bag. Just hateful, super unlikeable. Horrible mother, wants to kill young kids. Her two normal sons obviously have some emotional problems, possibly slight learning disabilities. Her other son, possibly with some physical abnormalities/hideous disfigurements is locked in the basement. Wow, that is horrible. And she is u-g-l-y.




14.) William Tavington/Lucius Malfoy- The Patriot/Harry Potter

I went for the Jason Isaacs double here. He is very good at playing a douchebag. Lucius Malfoy is obvious, but I think the role in The Patroit is even better. He is such a dandy! and you hate him so much for killing Mel Gibson's kids. Gosh. I'm getting fired up just thinking about it. Congratulations Jason Isaacs, you are a douchebag!


13.) Captain Bligh- Mutiny on the Bounty
Well, I watched this movie on Sunday. I was hoping for the Mel Gibson/Anthony Hopkins version, but ended up with the Marlon Brando version. Either way Captain Bligh is a huge douche. Man. What a dick! Just not a nice man, horrible leader, and just bad on all accounts. Watch the movie if you can, either one.



12.) Biff - Back to the Future


The classic bully-douchebag. Man this guy thinks he is so cool, but really sucks. Even as like a 90 year-old man he is still a huge douche, and when he was rich, man, even worse, killing Marty's dad and marrying his wife. D-B Hates manure.



11.) Prince Humperdinck - The Princess Bride

Yes, a classic d-bag. A dandy indeed. Steals a woman he wants. Lies to her. Kills her true love.
Tries to marry her real fast. Lies to her some more. Jerk,



10.) Italians - Breaking Away

Italians are douchebags, it is true. Haha, not always, but at least in this case. For those of you who haven't seen Breaking Away, it's about a cyclist, who idolizes Italian racers. He learns Italian, sings Opera, even shaves his legs to be like the Italians. Then the Italians are coming to his home area and he is SUPER excited. He is doing great in the race. It's just him and the Italians in the front and they jam a metal rod into his spokes and he crashes like crazy. Man, totally dreams lost. D-bag Italians, just like almost dying from a headbutt.


9.) Eric - Billy Madison

Yes, another d-bag I love.

Carl: I ate some Triscuit crackers in the car, you should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you told me they were delicious Triscuit crackers I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, "sorry" doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach now, does it Karl?

Priceless. Plus the weasel laugh. Gotta love it. And the weird balls, and going crazy over business ethics.


8.) 0'Bannion - Dazed and Confused

The stereotypical high school d-bag. Good role for Ben Affleck. Paddle and everything. Got the paint in the end.
Also seems so much more of a d-bag because Matthew McConnaughey was so cool.





7.) Deans - Animal House and Old School

This may be an injustice to dean Wormer, but Jeremy Piven's character is obviously based on him. These guys are both definitely haters. What's wrong with fun. Both got theirs in the end, but the one in Old School's wife did not sleep with one of the students. Dang.
P.S. I also considered Craig Kilbourn's character from Old School, definitely a d-bag, but I kind of liked him.




6.) Principal - Ferris Beuller's Day Off

Seriously, what did this guy have up his ass? Why did he have such a hard-on for Ferris? Man, you are the Principal Rooney, worry about your school and not just one kid. Thanks to Charlie Sheen for Ferris's sister not being on the list.
P.S. I believe this guy (the actor not the principal, well, maybe him too) is a sex offender now.



5.) Warden - Shawshank Redemption
This guy my not seem to much like a d-bag on the surface, but he fits the bill. Stealing tax money, turning a blind eye to all prison abuse, putting Andy in the hole for refusing to work for him, and worst killing the young prisoner that could've proven Andy was innocent. He stayed true to his d-bag ways until the end and did not even take the rap for what he did. Instead, he killed himself. Douchebag.



4.) Cal Hockley - Titanic
Look at this mutherfucker. You can already see douchebag. And his name pretty much lets you know the deal too. I don't remember too much from the movie except for him KIDNAPPING A BABY to get onto a rescue boat. Damn d-bag.



3.) Family - Million Dollar Baby
These people made me angry when I saw the movie, might not be d-bags by definition, but I really wanted to punch these people in the stomach. First off Maggie's family didn't really care for her growing up. And two instances were pretty horrible. One when Maggie bought her mother a new house and she pretty much told her she hated it because of all the taxes and wow, sucked. And two, when Maggie is paralyzed and depressed in the hospital, her family only visits her for 5 minutes, all decked out in their gear from Disney World. Dang, I've done a horrible job describing these events, but if you saw the movie you should hate them too.



2.) Sensi - Karate Kid

Wow! This guy is great. Such a huge douchebag. A great movie character. There is potential from a number of douchebags in Karate Kid - Johnny, Tommy, Dutch- but they all get it from this guy. True colors are seen when Daniel wins the tournament and Jonny congratulates him and John Kreese, that's his name in the movie, punches out two windows. Yes.

Kreese: Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it?
Karate Class: NO, SENSEI!
Kreese: Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it?
Karate Class: NO, SENSEI!
Kreese: Defeat does not exist in this dojo, does it?
Karate Class: NO, SENSEI!

We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the streets, in competition: A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy.

Kreese: What do we study here?
Karate Class: THE WAY OF THE FIST SIR.
Kreese: And what is that way?
Karate Class: STRIKE FIRST. STRIKE HARD. NO MERCY SIR.
Kreese: I can't hear you.
Karate Class: STRIKE FIRST. STRIKE HARD. NO MERCY SIR.

This is a karate dojo, not a knitting class. You don't come into my dojo, drop a challenge and leave, old man. Now you get your boy on the mat, or you and I will have a major problem.

Kreese: Bobby - I want him out of commission.
Bobby: But Sensei, I can beat this guy!
Kreese: I don't want him beaten.
Bobby: But I'll be disqualified!
Kreese: [icily] Out of commission.



1.) Walter Peck - Ghosterbusters
"It's true, this man has no dick."
I believe Walter Peck's sole purpose in the movie was to be a d-bag. He has all the criteria, an asshole who thinks he is better than everyone else, and causes harm to the leading characters for no reason. This guy just epitomizes douche. Man, the suit, the language, the arrest of the ghostbusters and busting out of the warrent, taking his job WAY too seriously. Man. You hate him from the instant he is on the screen.

Walter Peck: Hold it! I want this man arrested! Captain, these men are in criminal violation of the Environmental Protection Act! And this explosion is a direct result of it!
You hate him so much you gotta love him.

In the end was doused with scalding hot marshmallow, was probably funny in the movie, but looking back in it, he was probably very badly burned.

Michael Dukakis

I like Michael Dukakis. He scored me credentials for the Democratic National Convention. (Don't worry, as this is a completely non-partisan blog, I will also be attending the Republican National Convention.) And he is a handsome man.

Ouch

"Ouch"
This is the gchat I sent my Cubs fan friend about an hour ago. He knew exactly what I was talking about - The Brewers getting killed and swept. Man. What a horrible series. The most important series in 25 years and we really blew it. I'm glad I'm not in Milwaukee. What a let down!
So, two months left in the season. Where do we go from here?
Playoffs? Playoffs?
I still believe it. We need to get our heads out of our ass, but it was just one series.
I see Cubs/Brewers in the NLCS. Maybe

Real American Heroes

Sorry for the lack of posts. Starting tomorrow I will have internet again where I live.
Starting August 8th there will be a lot of Olympic posts.
Starting August 9th I will be back on the bus, so look for a lot of updates there.


Here are some pictures of G.I. Joes I remember from my childhood. These are pretty old school and were most likely my brother's. And were not quite pristine when I played with them.


Snow Job- Be weary when you google image search "snow job". You get a lot of weird/almost funny pictures involving snow and jobs. I'm pretty sure we had this one, and lost it by the time I was like 7. I see a little resemblance to Jim Gatner and even more so, the DB EPA guy from Ghostbusters. That guy was the DEFINITION of douche-bag.



Road Block- Definitely stuck around the toy bucket for a long time. I remember the backpack and gun, but like most weapons, they got lost in the shuffle over the years. Thumbs broke, rubber band broke, body and legs had to be glued together, I think the legs fell off too, so last I remember, this guy had trouble moving.


Blow Torch- another lifer in the toy bucket. I think this guy may have stayed around the longest. He ended up thumbless, wore-down and the last G.I. Joe standing.


Dr. Mindbender - I belielve this may be the first one that was actually mine and not my brother's. But really, look at that picture. I don't need to say more.



Apparently none of these classics are in the new live action G.I. Joe movie, but Mr. Eko from lost is Heavy Duty, which is a modern day rip off of Roadblock.

Most Obscure US Presidents

Time for Family Feud.
This week's topic, Most Obscure US Presidents

7. James K. Polk - one of those post founding fathers/pre-civil war guys. Campaign slogan was "54/40 or Fight", think it had to do with parallels.

6. Chester A. Arthur- Had very nice facial hair. Elementary school was the location of a bomb in the third Die Hard movie

5. Millard Fillmore- Was recently mentioned in a car commercial, otherwise would be one or two.

4. Franklin Pierce - Supposedly voted the 2nd best looking president next to JFK. Judge for yourself. Couldn't tell you a thing he did in office.

3. Benjamin Harrison - in that post civil war/pre 1900's group. Nice beard, usually confused with William Henry

2. Rutherford B. Hayes - Similar to B. Harrison, not much else I can say.

1. John Tyler - Who? Yep, that's why he's number one. Most of these names will ring a bell, but not Tyler. Bonus for anyone who can tell me SOMETHING he did in office.


I used this category twice in my games. Usually people are upset when they say like Zachary Taylor or James Buchanan or Calvin Coolidge, but in truth, my list is sound. I can tell you reasons why all unlisted Presidents are not on the list. Obscure.

Winner!

We finally have a winner in our Lord of the Rings/Star Wars Tournament.
Drum Roll Please:

GANDALF

It is true. Gandalf is the best fantasy character. He came out on top of 63 other Star Wars and Lord of the Rings Characters. A deserving champ. "You shall not Pass!"

Thanks for all the votes. Some rounds were pretty popular, but I probably made the tourney too long. I need more readership. Holla.

I no longer love Brett Favre

I rescind anything nice I said about Brett Favre. He is kind of being a jerk right now. If he plays for another team I will boo him. Boo-urns! If he never said he was leaving, I would have loved another year, but this is just stupid.
That is all.

Things I don't like about Jeopardy

I really enjoy Jeopardy. It is one of my favorite shows. I'll be on it someday. I like Alex Trebek, but sometimes he annoys me. So, I'm compiling a list of things about Jeopardy that I don't like.
Here you go.- The long commercial break before final Jeopardy
- overly complex "Before and After" questions. Yesterday there was "No Country for Old Men in Trees" and "There will be Blood oranges" Lame.
- Talking to the contestants after the first commercial. Is that ever interesting?
- When Trebek infers that an answer nobody got is obvious
- When Trebek unnecessarily extravagantly pronounces foreign words
- When contestants try to keep going before the commercial break and Trebek cuts them off "Actually, that will have to wait until after the break."
- Word game categories, like homonyms and words within words
- Celebrity Jeopardy
- Children's Jeopardy. It's rather shoot off my own testicles than watch Children's Jeopardy. How disappointed are you when you sit down to watch and that is on?
- When Trebek lost the 'stache
- when they link all the categories. I think the last time I saw that there were all John Steinbeck novels. Boo-urns.

Hottest Cartoon Chracters

Alright, here is the unveiling of my first Family Feud Category.
HOTTEST CARTOON CHARACTERS

1. Princess Jasmine- Wow, why isn't she real? Maybe I also like her more because I like the movie and white guys like exotic women.

2. Ariel- Yeah, she might not have proper reproductive organs, but a friend of mine said "She's the perfect woman, once she gets legs she can't talk." Wow. I'd "kiss the girl".

3. Jessica Rabbit- might be tops on people's lists, but a little too slutty for me, and she has an odd rabbit fetish.

4. Daphne- The girl from Scooby-Doo. Yes, I like redheads, I mean America likes read heads. Also, the short purple skirt is great. Much better than the Sarah Micheller Geller version.

5. Pocahontas- I like. Looks pretty sassy in that pic.


6. Prince Eric- a dashing lad.

7. Bell- definitely the girl next door except for the whole Beast thing.

8. He-Man - Strong, great hair

9. Fred - from Scooby-Doo, a bit (a lot) WASPy, but what can you do?

CC

Alright time for another who is better poll. This time the subject is CC.


CC Sabathia - New Brewers pitcher, keeps the brim straight, kind of fat, but dominating

vs.

C&C Music Factory- "Everybody Dance Now", on the 90's power hour, kind of gay, but you know you like to dance to it.

We'll see how tonight's game goes before we make an judgment.
Go Brewers!

Family Feud

Let's play the Feud.
So sometimes Montana is boring, and this post stems from that, and also from a power outage, so we didn't have much to do, but multiple times I have hosted a Family Feud game here at the ranch. People seemed to enjoy it the power outage day, so I did it again three more times. Fun stuff, pretty ridiculous. Got better and better each time. I'll give you a few of my best categories. Feel free to submit your answers and I'll give you mine in a few days.
And be clear, these answers and categories were totally developed by me even if I say something else.

150 Americans were surveyed, top 8 answers on the board,
Name the Most Obscure American President.


120 men and women were surveyed, the top 8 answers are on the board,
Name the Best Looking Cartoon Characters.

100 Men were surveyed, the top 13 answers are on the board,
Name the Best Slang for Vagina

100 college educated Americans were surveyed,
Name the Most Obscure African Country.

Name the Best High School Movie

Name the Best Synonyms for Poop.


Alright, there you go, submit your answers for as many or as few as you want. Have fun.

Montana

Here are some pictures of Montana, for those of you who don't have facebook.

Here are some pictures of the ranch I work at and lived at for about 5 months. This is where advanced political research takes place.

Here is the view from my bedroom window. Awesome. Never thought I'd wake up to this.



A few weeks ago, the State Department brought a bunch of foreign journalists from developing countries to learn about democratic elections. They were from places like Rwanda, Tajikistan, Afghanistan, and Malawi. It was pretty cool. Below is a Emmanuel from Uganda. Ballers.

Lastly, here is a little power hour I had at my house as a house warming. Mostly college interns came, and I showed them the beauty of the 90's Power Hour. A good crew. Great times.

9.68!

9.68. That was Tyson Gay's 100 meter in the US Olympic qualifier. It was wind-aided, but c'mon, 9.68. I believe the world record is 9.73, which was just set a few months ago. I remember when it was amazing to get anything under 10 seconds. He made it look easy too. I'm not a big track guy, but I think this is pretty amazing. I look forward to Beijing.