Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Survivor 21

Well, surprisingly unemployment has caused me to blog much less. I've actually been pretty devoid of ideas lately, as I'm sure you've seen from my lack of post lately.

In need of an idea? Why not blog about Survivor. It's usually hard to tell who you like, who is a good character, who will get far after a few episodes, but I think I've got a few funny things to say about most people. I was even considering putting something on facebook about how wild these people are. Where did they find them? Are they real? Do they know they're on TV? But then I remembered no one really watches Survivor anymore. Well, let's take a look at this season's castaways anyways.

Young Team:

Shannon - Yes, Shannon is a man. The one who got voted off last week. What was wrong with this guy? He seemed incredibly normal until tribal council. He called out his friends, enemies, randoms and called out a dude for being gay. It's no surprise he's gone.

Alina - Pretty much back in the shadows. Hasn't done too much yet.

Kelly B - One leg. I hope she gets far so we can see what happens to that prosthetic leg. I thought she would be afraid of getting it dirty. I guess not. I'm hoping it rusts or gets so full of sand and dirt that it doesn't work properly. I like her, though. Hottest one legged contestant in Survivor history.

Kelly S - She's known on the show as "Kelly Purple". Um, ok. way to make a name for yourself. Hot, but hasn't done much yet.

Chase - Hoes before bros. But the tribal council behavior by Shannon definitely shows he made the right choice.

Brenda - pretty cute and knows how to work it. Men love her, girls don't trust her, the makings of a very good Survivor character. Makes me think of the "I want to hold your hand" girl in
Across the Universe.

Benry - First off, props to this guy for the first name/last name combo. Love it. Second, has this guy said a word yet? I don't think so. When confronted at tribal council by Jeff and Shannon, he just kind of had this dumb look on his face and shook his head. Nice one.

NaOnka - Diva. Is this girl for real? Where did this entitlement come from? This is Survivor. I did like the extreme neck movement when Jeff asked if she was difficult or complicated or something. Good work. I don't see her going to far.

Sash - Jamaican? "If I wasn't from Jamaica then why would I be wearing this hat?" Good thing he is on Survivor so he can live "Right near da beach. Boy-eeee!"

Jud - I like him. You need a surfer on Survivor. I hope he makes it far.

Old Team

Jimmy Johnson - Dude, why are you on Survivor? Go back to the NFL pre-game.

Yve - I think she is pissed she's categorized with the Old People. Thus she has not talked the entire season.

Jimmy T. - I'd like to see more of this guy, but don't see him staying too long. Reminds me of Mickey Rouke

Dan - Gator shoes. I imagine this guy wears track suits most of the time. Too bad he didn't bring them to Survivor.

Holly - Ok, this lady is crazy. Putting sand in Dan's shoes then sinking them in the water, that is just deviant. I guess maybe she's trying to be like Russell or something, but did she think no one will notice. I think she'll be out tonight.

Tyrone - Don't know much about him, but I could see this guy going far.

Marty - Looking good. He seems to know how to play the game. He'll work JJ until he needs to get rid of him. And he has the idol

Jill - Helped Marty get the idol, so that puts her in a good position for a while.

Jane - Started fire, but kina old

There you go. I hoped you enjoyed my observations. Proper responses to this post will be:
Does anyone care about Survivor anyone?
What is this, 2001?
Lame post Big Dunc. Give it up.

Thank You

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Original Star Wars Trilogy

So, time for another movie post, this time focusing on the Star Wars Trilogy. Last time I did Indiana Jones, but I consider myself much more of an expert on Star Wars. Again, it will mostly be just random lists that I compile.

My favorites films:
1. Star Wars A New Hope
2. Empire Strikes Back - I feel Empire is a better film, but I like A New Hope better. I watched it countless times and remember each little detail. I like how it is the beginning of so much
4. Return of the Jedi - such a large drop from the first two, it doesn't even deserve spot 3.

Hottest Women in the Galaxy: (not much to choose from)
1. Leia
2. Mon Mothma - Scoring a victory for women's lib movements and feminists everywhere.

3. Aunt Beru - Long years in the Tatooine suns were not good on her.

4. Sy Snootles - very leggy

Most Instrumental Minorities: (Again, not much to choose from)
1. Lando
2. Darth Vader's Voice
3. Return of the Jedi pilot "She's gonna blow!" ( a young Karl Malone) 4:19 of Battle of Endor clip below

It's interesting how deliberately Star Trek embraces multiculturalness, where Star Wars did not. In the books you get the explanation that the Emperor was very xenophobic and sexist and I guess you have the multi-species aspect instead of multi-race. But an interesting observation.

Best Supporting Characters:
1. Wedge - The quintessential soldier, the only minor character to make all 3 movies, a veteran of Yavin, Hoth, and Endor, instrumental to taking down 2 Death Stars. He saved Luke in the first Death Star run, was the first to bring down an AT-AT with a tow cable, and shot down the power regulator allowing Lando to fire the final blow on the second Death Star.
He is one of the those cinema oddities who was onscreen for probably a total of one minute, having only about 10 lines, but having a small, but vital role in the biggest movie series ever, is loved by all. Can anyone think of a similar character in movies or TV?

2. Grand Moff Tarkin - Played exquisitely by Peter Cushing. He really epitomizes the Empire.
3. Admiral Ackbar - Yes! "It's a trap!" Love the Ole Miss ESPN thing
4. Emperor - a minor character in the original trilogy, taking a large role in the prequels and was one of the most interesting characters in Jedi.
5. Lobot - I'm not totally sure of this guy's deal. Human contacted to the main computer of Cloud City. Not sure if he can talk, but either way, I like his style.

6. Nien Nunb - Just watch the Battle of Endor video and tell me this guy ain't the shit.

7. Greedo
8. Boba Fett - a bit over rated, but cool. I actually like IG-88 and Dengar better, but they really were only in the movie for a second.
9. Admiral Piett - Showed the the Imperial Military wasn't just incompetence.
10. Bib Fortuna
11. Wicket - not a huge fan of the Ewoks, but Wicket was ok.
12. Biggs - nice 'stache

Action Sequences:
1. Battle of Yavin - A New Hope - Nothing really compares to the original Death Star run.
2. Asteroid Field - Empire - Great scene escaping from Vader, negotiating through the asteroid field, Han and Leia's first kiss, then the giant Worm creature.
3. Battle of Endor -Jedi- Talking about the space battle only here. It's interesting that the end of Jedi juxtaposed the space battle, the battle on Endor with the Ewoks, and Luke vs. Vader and the Emperor, and I feel it was the one without any of the main characters that was actually the most interesting and exciting. Check out the Battle of Endor here uncut, not interlaced with the other scenes.
4. Hoth - Empire -I love this scene, but it doesn't totally make sense. AT-ATs? Robot dinosaurs? It provides cool visuals, but the scene is not crafted as well as the space scenes.
5. Luke/Vader - Empire - Pretty cool fight scene on Cloud City. Some nice elements, but it was the revelation, not the fighting that makes this scene most memorable.
6. Escaping the Death Star - New Hope - A lot going on here, stormtrooper oufits, Ben dying, shooting a few TIE fighters, nice.
7. Speeder Bikes - Jedi
8. Luke/Vader/Emperor -Jedi - Really disappointing as an action scene. The psychological stuff is the best part.
9. Endor/Ewoks - Some pretty cool stuff, but kind of cartoonish.
10. Jabba's Barge - Jedi - The Return of the Jedi was really all action scenes rather crudely put together. I loved it as a kid. Sarlaac, wild aliens, lightsaber tricks, but not at all instrumental to the plot.

Other Best Scenes:
1. Rescuing Leia/Trash Compactor - A New Hope -Pretty much flawless. So many good lines, so many great moments. Starting with Han on the Comm to finally getting the mashers stopped - amazing.
2. The Message - A New Hope - Finally hearing the message from Leia to Obi-Wan was amazing. It was so intriguing and so dense. You don't totally know what is going on, but you definitely want to hear more. The start of something big.
3. Dagobah - Empire - This might be cheating as it was actually several scenes, but Luke and Yoda were great. From the amusing first meeting to the hurried parting. Plus you have Luke vs. Vader/Luke in the cave.
4. The Force - New Hope - This is pretty much just a knowledge building scene, but works incredibly well. We learn about Obi-Wan, Luke's Father, and the Force. Again, drawing the viewer in for more.
5. Death Star Plan - New Hope - Nothing too crazy here, just the planning session for taking down the Death Star. Totally gives the insurmountable odds of the situation. Womp rats.
6. Cantina - New Hope -Great Music, amazing aliens, Han, Chewy, this really is the first introduction to the amazing complexity of the Star Wars Universe.
7. Emperor/Luke/Blue shit - Jedi - This is the culmination of the Luke vs. Vader/Emperor battle. The Emperor is just bombarding Luke with his blue force laser shit. He is going to kill him, and then...Vader picks up the Emperor and shoots him down the power shaft. Damn.

Best Inconsequential Lines:

"But I was going to the Tosche Station to pick up some power converters."

"Uncle Owen, this R2 unit's got a bad motivator."

"Stay on Target, Stay on Target!"

"He doesn't like you. I don't like you either. We're wanted men. I have a death sentence on twelves systems!

"Who's Scruffy lookin'?"

"And I thought they smelled bad...on the outside"

"Evacuate? In our moment of triumph?"

"Shut down all the garbage mashers on the detention level. (high pitched) Shut down all the garbage mashers on the detention level!"

"Bounty Hunters. We don't need their scum."

"Look at the size of that thing"

"May, what an amazing smell you've discovered."

"Intensify forward fire power!"

There you go. The greatness of Star Wars in blog form.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Indiana Jones Trilogy

Unemployment has its perks. Last week I watched the 3 original Indiana Jones movies in two days. Nice. It got me thinking about a few things - how much the new one sucked, how long its been since I've seen Temple of Doom, and how the Indiana Jones trilogy had many scenes that scared me as a child. But before I get into that, here are a few more Indiana Jones observations.

Films in order of greatness:
1. The Last Crusade - Sean Connery puts this one on top, but just barely.
2. Raiders of the Lost Ark
3. Temple of Doom - can't really compare some lost Indian stones against the Holy Grail and Ark of the Covenant

Leading Women in order of Attractiveness:
1. Dr. Elsa Schneider - Alison Doody - Last Crusade

2. Willie Scott - Kate Capshaw - Temple of Doom
3. Marion Ravenwood - Karen Allen - Raiders of the Lost Ark

Leading Female Characters in order of likability:
1. Marion - She out drank a large Nepalese man, tried to get the French guy drunk to escape,
and did the damn thing with Indy in the snake room. I like her style.

2. Willie Scott - She was often times annoying, but came through a few times in the end. She was a good damsel in distress. The scene with her and Indy in opposite rooms waiting each other out was pretty great.
3. Elsa - Well, you have the fact that she was a traitor for the Nazis, but she also sucked as character. She really did very little in the film and just provided all the female stereotypes.

Best Supporting Characters:
1. Short Round
2. Major Toht - Super awkward and sketchy

3. General Vogel - just for this one scene - works in any language
4. Sallah - Made it alive through two movies
5. Marcus Brody - Lost in his own museum
6. Young Indy - River Phoenix
7. Grail Knight

Best Action Sequences:
1. Leaving the German Castle - Motor Cycle and sidecar - Crusade
2. Airplane and huge German pilot scene in Raiders
3. Bar in Marakesh - Raiders
4. Airplane scene - Crusade
5. Escape from Grail Protectors - Crusade
6. Retrieving Marcus and Henry Jones - Tank scene - Crusade, a bit too long
7. Chasing down the Ark - Raiders
8. Mine scene - Temple - including large guard, voodoo doll, and mining cart
9. Young Indy - Crusade, a bit cartoonish with the snake and the circus animals and the "origin" of his whip and hat

Other Best Scenes:

1. Opening Scene - Raiders - iconic

2. Library/Crypt Scene - Crusade - intensive buildup, really draws you in. You cannot stop watching.
3. 5 minutes scene - Temple - Indy and Willie waiting each other out, turns into Indy finding the secret mine.
4. Shot Contest - Raiders
5. Austrian Castle - Crusade - Tapestries, Fake Ming China, Saying Goodbye, Fire - all great scenes with Connery and Ford

6. Dinner Scene - Temple - "Chilled Monkey Brains"
7. Opening Scene - Temple - Wild
8. Indy and Hitler - Crusade
9. Professor Jones - Raiders and Crusade - Pretty Hilarious both times