Monday, March 10, 2008

Spam

At my new job I get a ridiculous amount of spam. I mean, literally 50-70 spam emails a day. It is crazy. I have never had anything close to this before. One of the more common ones is for replica watches. I get about 5 of those per day, so if you need some replica watches let me know. Also, these emails let me know a lot of people in Africa have money in banks, like $10 million, but they can’t access it without my social security number or me sending them a small amount of money to reactive the account. I also get emails dated over a year ago and once from like a week in the future, but they’re usually written in some sort of code. But by far, and not surprisingly, the most received spam is sexually orientated. Everything from celebrity sex tapes to penis enlargement. It’s funny too, because very few of then are regular. This spam is smart and won’t just write viagra or penis, so it will put random ‘ in words or use a lot of funny slang. Here is a collection of my favorites, and these are just the subjects. Very rarely do I ever open them.

Become a real man increase your male aggregate.

Dreaming of a larger love-stick?

Only losers have small jang

This one might be my favorite, jang- very nice

New presentation with Keira Knightley + 5 korean homosexuals!

Not really sure about this one

ErectileorganCosmicGinger

Ditto

Whip out the anaconda in your pants and watch her eyes light up with excitement.

Girls will be queueing up to stroke your shaft.

Want a bigger baby-maker?

Be the master of the universe, with a huge broadsword in your pants?

I like the question mark

Ram her like never before with your new, enlarged battering ram.

Now the increase of your jang size is not a dream

Good ole jang

Hilary wants to get laid

Really?

Yeah, so there’re some good examples for you. You got about one funny everyday. So that helps you to get by all the annoying ones.

1 comment:

Thorzul said...

Those are pretty good, but no one has amassed a greater fortune via spam than me. I win the National Irish Lottery every day.