Thursday, May 20, 2010

Big Dunc's Ultimate Survivor All-Stars

Yesterday I gave you the Big Dunc Survivor All-Star teaser, giving the criteria for being an All-Star and the players just missing out on the All-Star Teams.

Ultimate Survivor All-Stars

These are the best of the best, the most entertaining and the most intriguing. I'm going with two teams of 9 here. The teams are divided somewhat evenly, both teams having a few players that have played together before, both teams with 6 males and 3 females, both teams having 15 seasons of Survivor playing experience. One team with 3 winners, the other with 4.
Our teams will be led by arguably the best team leaders in Survivor history, Yul – leading his tribe of 4 all to the final four after the infamous Cook Islands mutiny and Tom leading his tribe to the total defeat of the other tribe in Palau. We'll go Yul as team green and Tom as team blue.
Here we go.
Team Blue

Tom – Winner Palau , 16th Heroes vs. Villains - Before the Heroes vs. Villains season one would not be out of bounds to call Tom the single best player in Survivor history. He was the team leader of his Koror tribe in Palau which was undefeated in immunity challenges, totally eliminating the other tribe. He then smartly sent out all his possible roadblocks while at the same time dominating in individual immunity challenges as well. In the final immunity challenge he somehow got his opponent to give up on the condition that he takes not him, but the third, weaker player to the final. Tom did and won 6-1. Tom's legacy was hurt a bit in H vs. V, but I think he is a worthy All-Star team leader.

Bob – Winner Gabon – Bob definitely did it all during his one season of Survivor – winning immunity challenges, coming from behind, creating great fake immunity idols, and winning the fire making tie breaker challenge. Some of the shows best moments come from Bob tricking others with his fake idols and coming through in the clutch during times he needed to win immunity. Bob is also won one for the old guys, being the oldest Survivor winner to date.

Russell – 2nd Samoa, 3rd Heroes vs. Villains – There is no way you could have an All-Star team and exclude Russell. He is definitely one of the most entertaining players ever. He burns socks, lies, straight up calls out people who are against him, and basically makes the show fun to watch. I don't think he would last too long in another season, but who knows?

Brian – Winner ThailandBrian is another one that could rightfully own the title of best Survivor player ever. He cruised (skated) through his Thailand season. He pretty much played error free, strategically leading his team and then winning final immunity challenges when he needed. I would love to see how Brian would fair against more crafty, smart players.

Sandra – Winner Pearl Islands, Winner Winner Heroes vs. Villains – Ok, after winning twice and never losing, you have to call Sandra the best player ever. For her, it's about strategy and the social game. She is definitely not a physical threat, but found a way to win twice anyways. Third time? I doubt it, but she will get a Big Dunc All-Star chance.

Julie – 5th Vanuatu – Mostly here for the eye candy factor, Julie was a decent player, using her goods well. Her attractiveness combined with her high finish is enough to make her a Big Dunc All-star. Survivor tidbit: Bob was a teacher of Julie in high school.

Yau-Man – 4th Fiji, 18 Micronesia You need him on the team just due to his great name. Yau-Man is an All-Star despite being 55 years old, "5 foot nothin', 100 and nothin', and having barely a speck of athletic ability. " He is on the list for his intuition, strategy, and overall likability. I think in a game like this, with so many strong threats, he could make it pretty far.

Rupert – 8th Pearl Islands, 4th All-Stars, 6th Heroes vs. Villains Rupert is another on you write into your lineup immediately. Everything else is formed around him. Rupert is a beast in team challenges, but not great in individual ones. He's an All-Star because of his great beard, tie-dyed shirt, attitude, and the great bellowing noises he makes when winning a challenge. He keeps it real and calls it how it is. You need that on Survivor.

Kelly – 11th Samoa Kelly definitely has the weakest resume of any of the All-Stars, but she is smoking hot, so she makes the list. She was the victim of a Russell idol and really didn't deserve to go, but those are the Survivor breaks. She would add something to this season.

Blue team dynamic – Lots of these players have played together before. They definitely bring different strategies and ways of playing the game. I don't know how Russell could get past the first vote. Naturally Bob and Tom would team up, as would Sandra and Russell so I think the interesting wild cards would be Brian and Yau-Man. How would they team up with? How would they play differently than before? Could they create a unified team?

Green Team

Yul- Winner Cook IslandsAnother one who could rightly wear the crown of best Survivor ever. Yul is the team captain because he led his underdog team to glory. In the Cook Islands season after a few tribe switches, teams were 6-6 and players were given the choice to change tribes. Candice and Jonathan left Yul's team to join the other and all of a sudden it was 8-4. Don't trust those white people. Yul led his underdog team to multiple challenge victory and then got Jonathan back on his side to get numbers in his favor and then one by one voted off all the whities and the remaining black guy, scoring a huge victory of non-white supremacists everywhere. Yul then won the million dollars in a close 4-3 vote of challenge dominator Ozzy. It would be great to see him lead a team again.

Michael – 11th AustraliaThis man is no joke. He killed a pig, led his underdog tribe to victories and then got burned in the fire. This was one of the coolest/scariest Survivor moments and also one of its biggest "what ifs". Things would have been drastically different if Michael did not fall in the fire. It's hard to be an All-Star after only 6 episodes, but let's give Michael another chance.

Bobby Jon – 10th Palau, 9thIf Bobby Jon is not my favorite Survivor player ever, he is definitely in my top 3. He just brings amazing intensity to the game. Second to last player on his team in Palau and played so hard in Guatemala he had his eyes rolling to the back of his head. He is great in challenges despite losing so many. He is also pretty funny with his witty southern sayings. I think he's strong strategically too, but just never really got to show it. Entertaining for sure!

Terry – 3rd Panama – Terry has to be the best individual immunity challenge player ever, winning 5 straight! And all of those 5 times he was on the chopping block if he did not win. He did endurance, puzzles, swimming, the whole gamut, but he did not win the last immunity challenge when it counted most. Ouch. I'm guessing producers tried to get him to come play on another season. They had to. Either way, he is a worthy All-Star and someone I would be interested in seeing play again.

Parvati – 6th Cook Islands, Winner Micronesia, 2nd Heroes vs. Villains – I don't think there is much I need to say about Parvati. One of the best players ever – challenges, strategy, manipulation, overall game play, attractiveness. Definite All-Star. Has it all.

Amanda – 3rd China, 2nd Micronesia, 9th Heroes vs. Villains Another of the best players ever. Amanda is skilled in challenges and the social game and attractive, but never used those skills to bring a victory. She is deserving of the All-Star title, but can't bring a victory.

Richard – Winner Borneo, 14th All-Stars Richard Hatch, the first Survivor winner and the first to understand the game. The first to realize that alliances and controlling your alliances was necessary to make it to the end. Hatch was great in All-Star too and would have been on Heroes vs. Villains if not for his house arrest. It would have been very interesting to see him play with this new era of Survivor players. I think he would have been in the same boat as Boston Rob, but ultimately found a way to oust Russell.

Darrah – 4th Pearl Islands – Darrah makes the list not only because her attractiveness, but because of her Survivor play as well. She won 3 individual immunity challenges and was the last member of her original tribe. Couple that with her great southern accent, her job as a mortician, and her hotness, she gets a spot on the All-Star list. I think she could go far with a second go around.

Paschal- 4th – Purple Rock.
Paschal is the only player to ever be eliminated by the infamous purple rock method. Basically, there was a 2-2 after a revote and to decide the winner, rocks were drawn be all remaining players and Pappy drew the short straw even though he was not one of the original players voted for. Such a lame way to get rid of someone. To this day, contestants still fear the arbitrary purple rock even though the same thing happened again in the Panama Season and the Cook Island season and there was a fire building challenge instead. Either way, Pappy was tight, a fun player to watch and one worthy of getting another chance and the title of All-Star.

Green Team Dynamic: This may be a case of too many chiefs and not enough Indians. Lots of these players will want to be the driving force behind their tribe. I'm thinking Richard won't be afraid to stay in the shadows at the beginning, and I think it bodes well for players like Bobby Jon and Darrah. Amanda and Parvati obviously have a history together and I think others would want to break them up immediately. I'm thinking after a few eliminations, this could be a very strong, unified tribe.

There you go, the Big Dunc Survivor All-Stars. This is the compilation of the best Survivor players ever. I think the teams are pretty even. The Big Dunc All-Star season would be epic, unpredictable and entertaining as ever. These are the 18 that made the cut.
Let me know who you think I missed or who from my list definitely would not make yours.

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