Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Comic Book Character Bracket - Negative Zone Region

Negative Zone Bracket

In the Negative Zone we see the number one overall seed Superman with the weakest #2 seed in Spider-Man and the best #3 seed Phoenix , the X-Men conference tournament winner. Not the toughest bracket with the best first round matchup being Dr. Strange/Aquaman and some real mouth watering Sweet 16 matchups.
Well, let's get to it. The 2010 Comic Book Character Tournament is now underway!

Round One.

1. Superman vs. 16. Kitty Pryde
Supes shows his intentions right away by entering the arena as Clark Kent. Kitty's phasing powers are annoying at first and may hold up for a while, but eventually she loses focus and the Man of Steel shows he is not afraid to punch a girl.
Winner: Superman (duh)

8. Dr. Strange vs. 9. Aquaman
We got vastly different fighting styles and abilities here. Dr. Strange comes out early with a wide variety of spells and hexes. Aquaman tries to press the issue with some hand to hand combat, but cannot get close enough. The big game changer occurs when Dr. Strange uses a water spell. This revives Aquaman, allowing him to catch Strange, leap into a nearby lake and impale Dr. Strange with his harpoon hand.
Winner: Aquaman

5. Invisible Woman vs. 12. Vision
A classic 5/12 matchup. This might be the worst possible first round pairing for Sue Richards. Her invisible force fields will do nothing to the intangible Avenger. Vision can easily penetrate any blocks the Invisible Woman puts forth. Vision begins to get a few hits in on the frustrated distaff member of the Fantastic Four. This year's 12/5 upset? Nope. Mrs. Richards has spent enough time around her husband to know a thing or two about robotics. She finds the precise time to attack the Vision on the nano-robotic level, frying his circuitry.
Winner: Invisible Woman

4. Iron Man vs. 13. Mystique
Unbeknownst to Iron Man, Mystique has been preparing for weeks for this matchup. She has created an attractive woman guise and has been following Tony Stark for months. He finally gets up the courage to ask the disguised Mystique out on a date, but she gives him a fake number, sending Iron Man into a spiraling fall into depression and alcoholism. A few weeks into his bender, Mystique approaches Tony Stark in her second shape shifting persona – the overweight Midwestern girl. Iron Man thinks his luck has finally changed and takes her back to his place only to discover who the Midwestern girl really is in a moment of vulnerability. Watch out for those chubby girls.
Winner: Mystique

3. Phoenix vs. 14 Luke Cage
I guess I could come up with some elaborate story about the Ginger and the black guy, but no need. Phoenix destroys Luke Cage.
Winner: Phoenix

6. Martian Manhunter vs. 11. Green Arrow
Manhunter is one of the vastly underrated comic book characters and Green Arrow is really only a good archer. Seems like a mismatch, but this is America, not Mars. Green Arrow gets the crowd behind him and gets the only arrow to the jugular that he needs upsetting his Justice League teammate.
Winner: Green Arrow

7. Superboy vs. 10. Human Torch
It is possible that Superboy is less likable than Duke. The Human Torch is the weakest member of the FF. Who wins this round? I'll go with fire.
Winner Human Torch

2. Spider-Man vs. 15 Sabretooth
A tough first round draw here for Spidey, but he has faced worse. Peter Parkers speed, fortitude, and one-liners annoy Sabretooth to no end, making him erratic and allowing Spider-Man some easy, open shots.
Winner: Spider-Man

Round 2

1. Superman vs. Aquaman
Battle of JLA teammates. Man of Steel versus King of the Sea. Superman decides to be nice and fights in Aquaman's home waters. This makes things a bit more interesting, but really, Aquaman has no chance against the Last Son of Kryton
Winner: Superman

5. Invisible Woman vs. 13 Mystique
Mystique's powers of seduction do nothing here she has little to no time to prepare after her elaborate plans against Iron Man. Sue Richards has a long history of defeating villains, and this is no different.
Winner: The Invisible Woman

3. Phoenix vs. 11 Green Arrow
Oliver Queen causes enough problems to bring out Dark Phoenix, and then things get ugly. Passersby were amazed at the unusually large amounts of blood.
Winner: Phoenx

2. Spider-Man vs. 10 Human Torch
A battle amongst friends. I really can't think of any b-ball equivalent to this. Torch and Spidey have fought many times, but very rarely have the actually fought, fought. Kind of like when dogs play fight. In this one, the Torch is the first to lose his cool and spends some hot fire at Spidey, burning his arm. This allows Spidey to see this game is for keeps and take the Torch to the cleaners, eventually trapping him in a watery, webby mess.
Winner: Spider-Man

Sweet Sixteen
Some amazing matchups here. This is really why the tournament was derived.

1. Superman
Affiliation: Justice League of America
Big Wins: Pretty much everything
Bad Losses: Pa Kent, his entire planet, died fighting Doomsday in a now worthless comic book.
Claim to Fame: Lost Son of Krypton, Faster than a speeding bullet, All-American kind of guy
NCAA equivalent: 1997 Kansas
5. Invisible Woman
Affiliation: Fantastic Four
Big Wins: defeating Galactus several times, defeating Dr. Doom several times, saving the earth countless times, changing from Invisible Girl to Invisible Woman
Bad Losses: 2nd child, mid 80s mullet, husband who works too much
Claim to fame: First woman in space (?), brought along her teenage brother, sends her son away for months at a time to protect him from countless super-villain attacks.
NCAA equivalent: 2003 Marquette
Battle: Superman is over confident and a bit too nice heading into this one. And just last night, the Invisible Woman absorbed her alter ego Malice into her body. This one starts out pretty bloody. Superman realizes he picks the wrong day to take it easy. He finally regains the upper hand, but then Sue Richards gets her ace in the hole from her husband's lab, and uses it to create invisible force daggers laced with kryptonite. Uh-oh. She is so focused and brutal with Malice in her that she sends the kryptonite laced force needles directly into Superman's blood stream, sending the kryptonite directly to his heart. Ouch.
Winner: The Invisible Woman

3. Phoenix
Affiliation: X-Men
Big Wins: helped the Shi'ar, defeated all the X-Men and Shi'ar
Bad losses: suicide
Claim to Fame: Killed herself to save the universe, might be a cosmic entity
NCAA equivalent: 1996 UCONN
2. Spider-Man
Affiliation: free lance
Big Wins: green goblin, alien costume, juggernaut
Bad Losses: dork, Gwen Stacy, broke, teamless
Claim to Fame: possibly the most liked Super Hero, dork that dates extremely hot women, "Spider-Sense"
NCAA equivalent: 2004 St. Joe's

Battle: A big mismatch here, but Spider-Man has heart. He's been known to fall for the redheads. Phoenix is almost a cosmic entity, but there is still some Jean Grey in her. She is so moved by Peter Parkers fortitude and never say die attitude despite facing impossible odds and she again kills herself.
Winner: Spider-Man

There you go. Another bracket revealed tomorrow.

1 comment:

Thorzul said...

Even though Ollie went down, I loved the final comment on the Phoenix/Green Arrow matchup.