Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Political Super Action Stars

A while back when I asked for blog ideas, a friend of mine suggested that, in the wake of people like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura becoming governors and basketball players like Charles Barkley and Kevin Johnson rumored to be running for political office, I should develop a list of political positions for action stars and athletes. Sound good? Make sense? Well here it goes.

Future Political Positions of action stars and athletes:

Shaq- Obviously Shaq will someday be president. He is already a police officer and a great, great man (especially in pinball form)

Jean-Claude Van Damme- Well, this one is kind of a comparison to Arnold. I had trouble deciding which state Van Damme should be governor of. Maybe New York, Wyoming, Kansas, but none of those seem to fit. I'm gonna go with Arizona. I just feel there could be many great explosions and car chases in Phoenix and a great scene at the Grand Canyon, culminating in Jean-Claude leaping over the entire canyon.

Matt Damon- White House Press Secretary - I feel everyone would listen to Damon and never be mad at him. We would believe everything the White House gives us. Plus, if people would act up, he could go all Boure on them.

Will Smith- VP for John McCain. I really feel like this is a good idea. Just think, Will Smith is like Obama but better in every way. Younger, blacker, stronger, more charismatic, better smile, loved by all Americans. Mr. McCain, you should really think about this one.

Johnny Depp- Governor of Vermont. Depp is a huge hippie, hates America, would fit in great in Vermont, and no one else in the country would really care because it's Vermont. YEEEAAAAA!

Tony Gwynn/Mike Tyson/Avery Johnson/Dikembe Mutombo- Speaker of the House.
I'm just going on quality of voice here. Any of these men would greatly increase the ratings of CSPAN. I know I would tune in just for the comedic entertainment

Harrison Ford- Sec. of Defense. Would any other nation F-with Harrison Ford as our Sec. of Defense? He is Indiana Jones and Han Solo and in all those Tom Clancy movies.

Chuck Norris- Military. If you got Chuck Norris, you need not any other military.

Lucy Liu - I felt like I should have a woman, and she seems cool, and I kind of felt the need to counter act those first two pictures. I'm not sure what she would be, though. Health and Human Services?

Rob Deer- I'm gonna go with mayor of Milwaukee, because I don't think anyone else knows him.

My brain and creativity really isn't working today. This is all I got.


Thorzul said...

Dikembe as Speaker of the, I almost spit out my lunch over that one.

I actually did vote for Rob Deer in the last Milwaukee mayoral election, but he came up a few write-in votes too short.

Also, Lucy Liu could be the Secretary of Hot.

dbp said...

Your future Speaker.