Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Writer Rabbitt

Haven't written in a minute, sorry.

Sometime I want to be a writer, not like a blog writer, but real literature. I may have some of this to owe to the great Apple IIE game Writer Rabbitt or maybe an influential teacher or something. Who knows? But when I think I could be a great writer I am often reminded that I am just not gifted and talented enough. I lack flair. One thing in particular that reminds me of this are the brilliant emails from a great friend of mine, just awesome and hilarious. Here's the first two I ever received. SORRY ABOUT THE OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE but that is part of the mystique.

"Harry Potter opens tonight, motha fuckas, I already bought my fucking tickets. That little N**ger's about to go off on that fucking snake.
Friday 3 opens next week, but I don't think i'll pay to see that.
Eminem's movie hasn't got a bad review yet, and i can't wait to see it.
Paul Thomas Anderson's new movie also has not been viewed by me, because am a cocksucker."

#2- two days later
"Harry Potter let me down. That little bitch ass n**ger almost put me to sleep with his bullshit. Why am I constantly let down by those I love? You can tell that little girl is going to be a fuckfest, though. Fuck Harry Potter. Fuck that ni**ger in the ass."

like I said, brilliant. Can't teach that.
Here are a couple more samples:

"Yes, life is finally complete now. I saw Webster. That's right, Emmanuel Lewis was shopping at the gap at 10 at night.
That little bastard has a heart as big as my dick. He was shopping in the kids section because of his freakish disease.
All the fucking immigrant workers didn't know who he was. I chastised them for not being American. God bless me. FUCKING WEBSTER!!!!!!!!!!!"

talking of a soccer game "Wally Zoller running up the fucking line for 90 minutes like the field was the size of a tennis court. My shouts of Go, Wally, Go my have drew eventual laughter from the crowd, but I believe in my heart that they knew this soccer angel was performing like the great Germans of old."

You see? greatness.
I only hope one day to have the ability and audacity to write such brilliance.
If you would like more examples from this great American writer, let me know.
Thank God for saved emails.

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