Saturday, March 7, 2009

Best Simpsons Episodes Ever!

Well, we have finally made it to the top tier of our Simpsons Best Episodes Countdown. These are the 13 top episodes ranging from seasons 3-8. The classics are here - Last Exit to Springfield, Monorail, Rosebud- the three predicted by Thorzul - Homer at the Bat, 22 Short Films, Hank Scorpio- and a few surprises.
At the end of last entry, we looked at the usual construction of a classic Simpsons Episode - something rather crazy starts the episode, which causes some sort of problem which the lead character, usually one of the Simpsons must solve, and in solving it, there is actual character development and sentimental situations, so usually the first part of the episode is more funny and the second more sincere. I think that is a pretty good Simpsons mold, and you will see, most episodes on this list fit that mold.

And here they are The Best Simpsons Episodes ever.....

13.) You Only Move Twice
Season 8
Writer: John Swartzwelder
What happens: Homer gets a new job in a new city. The rest of the family is against moving. Homer's new boss Hank Scorpio is an evil genius. In the end, Homer does what is best for his family and moves back to Springfield.
Why 13? You can't go wrong with a James Bond Parody. Also this is a rare episode where the entire Simpsons family each has a story line. This is also classic Homer here, clueless but not a goon or buffoon. Also, this was back when FOX first got the MLB playoffs, so you had to wait forever to get new Simpsons. This was the first non-Halloween ep of the season, so anticipation was high. A gem of an epsiode when things were starting to go downhill.
Funny Stuff: Aw, The Denver Broncos?!
Hank Scorpio is great. I loved the coat gag, well delivered, even if it was similar to Lionel Hutz's tie gag. And he just pulls sugar out of his pocket!
Mr. Bont!
The Hammock District
Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up two percent, and it's all because of
my motivational techniques. Like, donuts. And a possibility of more
donuts to come.

12.) A Star is Burns

Season 6
Writer: Ken Keeler
What happens?: The town decides to have a film festival after it is named the least cultural city in the U.S. The Critic comes to Judge the festival. Mr. Burns tries to buy the award for best film.
Why 12? This is one of the most iconic episodes of The Simpsons, but it is rather inconsistent. This is a rare episode where the second half is funnier than the first. The stuff with Jay Sherman isn't funny.
In fact, Matt Groening was very much against this episode as he saw it as just a big promo for The Critic, and wanted to pull the ep off the air. He did not to commentary on the DVD or put his name on the credits.
But when it is on, it is great! I think Boo-urns is the most used Simpsons quote. I use it like 5 times a day.
Funny Stuff:
Audience: Boo!  Boo!

Burns: Smithers...are they booing me?
Smithers: Uh, no, they're saying "Boo-urns! Boo-urns!"

Burns: Are you saying "boo" or "Boo-urns"?
Audience: Boo! Boo!
Hans: I was saying "Boo-urns"...

Homer: Marge, are we Jewish?
Marge: No, Homer.
Homer: Woo hoo!

Senor Spielbergo
Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod:
we're both factory owners, we both made shells for the
Nazis, but mine worked, dammit! Now go out there and win me
that festival!
Football in the groin with Hans Moleman or George C. Scott
But...the ball!  His groin!  Ah ha!  It works on so many levels!

11.) A Streetcar Named Marge
Season 4
Writer: Jeff Martin
What Happened? Streetcar Named Desire as a musical starring Marge as Blanche. The show makes her realized Homer doesn't always treat her right.
What #11? I don't want you thinking I like musical numbers and Jon Lovitz, but this was a great ep, a great character study of Homer and Marge. The B story of Maggie at the day care was cute, anything to The Great Escape music is awesome.
Funny Stuff:
All these obvious character from the Simpsons playing other characters was great.
Another amazing Hutz line: Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law. I'm filing a class-action suit against the director on behalf of everyone who was cut from the play. I also play Mitch!

   If you ask me, they're all winners!

We'll be cutting our first 40 contestants right after this.

-- Troy McClure

Marge: I thought it would be a good chance to

meet some other adults.
Homer: [eyes fixed on the television set] Sounds interesting.

Marge: You know, I spend all day home with Maggie. Sometimes it's
like I don't even exist.
Homer: [eyes fixed on the television set] Sounds interesting.

Homer: I can't fake an interest in this, and I'm an expert at faking an
interest in your kooky projects.

10.) Bart of Darkness
Season 6
Writer: Dan McGrath
What happens? It is a hot, hot summer and Lisa and Bart convince Homer to get a pool. The whole school comes to swim. Bart falls because his epidermis is showing and Lisa becomes cool. Then comes the Rear Window parody with Bart who thinks Flanders killed his wife.
Why 10? This is the first episode of season 6 and one of the first times FOX had the playoffs, so we had to wait a long time for this. FOX had already learned to start out the season with a Bart-centered episode and this one did not disappoint. Good story, well paced, Lisa and Bart switching places was a good idea. Simple story and fun. Good use of Homer as a minor character, where he is often at his best and multiple funny lines by Martin.
Funny stuff:
The ep starts off with Homer and Bart cooling themselves down by rubbing frozen veggies all over themselves. "I got the idea when I noticed the refrigerator was cold"
"ICE CREAM, ICE CREAM, I'm all outta ice cream."
Let us celebrate our new arrangement with the adding of chocolate to milk.

Great scene with Chief Wiggum in the helicopter
 Do not be alarmed,
continue swimming naked. [eats popcorn] Aw, c'mon, continue!
Come on! Oh...
And Cherri and Terri becoming friends with Lisa
Isn't it amazing the same day you got a pool is the
same day we realized we liked you?

The Chlorine scene was funny and Millhouse signing Bart's cast Millpool and the weird Jimmy Stewert Character.
Martin: Ah, my plan has come to fruition.  Soon _I'll_ be queen of

summertime. Er, king. King!

Bart: Listen, Ned Flanders murdered his wife!
Homer: But why? She's such a fox.

[Marge scowls at him]
I mean, what's on Fox tonight?

Great end to the episode as well, Frank Sinatra in the background
Martin: Oh. The gentle caress of the summer breeze.

9.) Lisa's Rival
Season 6
Writer: Mike Scully
What Happened? Another smarter younger student threatens Lisa's place at school and a strange B story with Homer and Sugar.
Why 9? Lisa is not my favorite character, but she works well here interacting with Allison and when asking Bart for help. Simple story again. This is episode 2 of season 6, immediately after Bart of Darkness, just like this list. B story was funny, but weird.
Funny Stuff:
Obvious highlight was the Star Wars action figures and Skinner's reaction
Pre-packaged "Star Wars" characters, still in their display
box? Are those the limited-edition action figures?

Why it's Luke, and Obi-Wan, and my favorite, Chewie! They're

all here! [to Miss Hoover] What do you think?

Hoover: [bored] I think it's lunch time.
Skinner: We have a winner!

And the anagram game
Taylor: Oh, don't be modest. I'm glad we have someone who can join us
in our anagram game.
Alison: We take proper names and rearrange the letters to form a
description of that person.
Taylor: Like, er...oh, I don't know, uh...Alec Guinness.
Alison: [thinks] Genuine class.
Taylor: Ho ho, very good. All right, Lisa, um...Jeremy Irons.
Lisa: [looks with consternation] Jeremy's...iron.
Taylor: Mm hmm, well that's...very good...for a first try. You know
what? I have a ball. [pulls one from his pocket] Perhaps you'd
like to bounce it?

Also multiple funny Ralph lines
"My cats name is mittens"
"What's a diorama?"
"My cat's breath smells like cat food."
I bent my Wookie."

Also very funny was the scene with the Beekeepers. Epitome of The Simpsons and how something seemingly normal is made laugh out loud funny. Transcribing this does not do it justice, just watch it and the walking clock bit from Sweet Seymour Skinner
Beekeeper 1: Well, sure is quiet in here today.

Beekeeper 2: Yes, a little too quiet, if you know what I mean.

Beekeeper 1: Hmm...I'm afraid I don't.
Beekeeper 2: You see, bees usually make a lot of noise. No noise --
suggests no bees!
Beekeeper 1: Oh, I understand now. Oh look, there goes one now.

Beekeeper 2: To the Beemobile!
Beekeeper 1: You mean your Chevy?
Beekeeper 2: Yes.

The beekeepers track their bees down to Homer's sugar pile.

Beekeeper 1: Well, very clever, Simpson, luring our bees to your sugar
pile and selling them back to us at an inflated price.
Homer: Bees are on the what now?
Beekeeper 2: Simpson, you diabolical...we're willing to pay you $2000
for the swarm. [starts counting money]
Homer: Deal!

Love in a Time of Scurvy
Classic Homer :
Marge: While you were out "earning" that dollar, you lost forty dollars
by not going to work. The plant called and said if you don't
come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday.
Homer: Woo hoo! A four-day weekend.

Lisa: You're younger than me too?
[look worried, starts breathing into her paper lunch bag]
Alison: Are you hyperventilating?
Lisa: No...I just like to smell my lunch.

Uter and the chocolate factory
And for some reason, Bart's plan to spray Allison with the hose was great.

8.) 22 Short Films About Springfield
Season 7
Writers: Jeff Appel, David S. Cohen, Jonathan Collier, Jennifer Crittenden, Greg Daniels, Brent Forrester, Rachel Pulido, Steve Tompkins, Josh Weinstein, Bill Oakley, Matt Groening
What Happened? Many things
Why 8? This was the one with many small stories, a Pulp Fiction parody. It had some great parts, but some not so great parts. Not higher because it lacked the sentimentality and emotion of other great episodes.
Funny Stuff:
Very Tall Man
Krusty Burger vs. McDonalds
Maggie in the Newspaper Stand
But I will give you what you want, or at least what I want....Steamed Hams!

If written many times that something was one of my favorite skits or gags or lines or scenes, but here is my alltime favorite Simpsons scene.
Elsewhere in Springfield, Superintendent Chalmers walks up to the

door of a neatly-kept house. Principal Skinner greets him there.
Chalmers just grunts as the two men go inside. Skinner heads for
the kitchen, where he notices smoke billowing out from the stove

The worst has happened -- the roast he has prepared is burnt.

Skinner, however,
has an ace up his sleeve. He plans to purchase
fast food from the Krusty Burger across the street and pass it as his
own cooking. Skinner starts to climb out the window when Chalmers

suddenly comes into the kitchen.

Chalmers: Seymour!

Skinner: Superintendent; I was just, uh, just stretching my calves on
the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?
Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Skinner: Uh, oh, that isn't smoke, it's steam. Steam from the steamed
clams we're having. [rubs stomach] Mmm -- steamed clams.

Either Chalmers is satisfied with this explanation, or decides not
to pursue the matter further. In any case, he goes back to the

dining room. Skinner jumps out the window and runs over to the
Krusty Burger after Chalmers leaves.

A few minutes later, Skinner makes an entrance the dining room
carrying a big platter of Krusty Burgers.

Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering
Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Skinner: Oh, no, I said, "steamed hams." That's what I call
Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams.
Skinner: Yes, it's a regional dialect.
Chalmers: Uh-huh. What region?
Skinner: Uh, upstate New York.
Chalmers: Really. Well, I'm from Utica and I never heard anyone use
the phrase, "steamed hams."
Skinner: Oh, not in Utica, no; it's an Albany expression.
Chalmers: I see.

Chalmers suspends his disbelief long enough to enjoy some of
Skinner's steamed hams.

Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones the
have at Krusty Burger.
Skinner: [laughs] Oh, no, patented Skinner Burgers. Old family
Chalmers: For steamed hams.
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that
they are obviously grilled. [shows Skinner the grill marks]
Skinner: Uh ... you know ... one thing I sh-- ... 'scuse me for one
Chalmers: Of course.

Skinner retires to the kitchen for a second. When he walks back
into the dining room, we can see that the entire kitchen is in

Skinner: [faking a yawn] Well, that was wonderful. Good time was had
by all. I'm pooped.
Chalmers: Yes, I guess I should be --
[notes entire kitchen is on fire]
Good Lord, what is happening in there?
Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? A this time of day?
In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: May I see it?
Skinner: Oh, erm... No.


7.) Marge vs. the Monorail
Season 4
Writer: Conan O'Brien
What Happens? You know this one. Mono= One Rail = Rail
Town gets money from Burns for nuclear waste dumping. Gets swindled by Lyle Langley (Phil Hartman into building a monorail. He skims tons off the top and the monorail doesn't work, but Homer and Leonard Nimoy? save the day
Why 7? Classic episode, lots of great lines. Large town scene, again with ideas of what to do with a large amount of money. A couple of slow scenes in the second half though prevent it from being higher and lots of great one liners, but not extended gags.
Funny Stuff: lots
"I call the big one Bitey."
"Batman was a scientist"
Do you want to change your name to Homer, Junior?

The kids can call you Ho-Ju!

Marge: We're too late!
Cobb: I have stopped for that haircut. Sorry.

`Solar power. When will people learn?

You call that an anchor?

No fat chicks
Homer trying to seduce Marge was hilarious. Another one that can't be transcribed. Check it out.

6.) Homer at the Bat
Season 3
Writer: John Swartzwelder
What happened? Mr. Burns had a million dollar bet on te plant softball team, so he hired ringers to play. Ever player save one had a strange incident or accident that left them unable to play. The only one able to play was Daryl Strawberry, who played Homer's position. In the end, with the game tied, Mr. Burn's played the percentages and took Strawberry out in favor of Homer, who was hit by a pitch and brought in the winning run.
Why 6? I think this is the first episode of the Simpsons that everyon remembered. It was also the first one to beat The Cosby Show in the Thursday timeslot. So many baseball players. I love it.
What happened to the players:
Ozzie Smith: Wonder Spot
Jose Canseco: Retriving every possible thing for the woman from the burning house
Mike Scioscia: radiation sickness, LOVED working in the plant
Steve Sax: pulled over and jailed by Chief Wiggumand charged with every unsolved crime in NYC
Roger Clemens: hypnotized into thinking he was a chicken
Ken Griffey Jr.: Too much growth tonic
Wade Boggs: knocked out by Barney in a bar fight over who was the best Prime Minister of England
Don Mattingly: My favorite - kicked off by Burns for not shaving his nonexistent sideburns

Ralph picking his team against Bart was also funny
Daryl Daryl!

5.) Bart's Comet
Season 6
Writer: John Swartzwelder
What happened? Bart gets detention for a prank on Skinner and has to star gaze with him. Bar t finds a comet heading for earth, specifically Springfield. Everyone goes in Flanders' bomb shelter and eventually kick him out. Homer feels bad and leaves too and everyone follows him. The comet ends up burning up in the atmosphere and everyone is fine, just as Homer predicted. Dun-dun
Why #5? Great episode from beginning to end. It incorporates most of the town and shows Homer's good side, which is seen too infrequently.
Funny Stuff:
The following people are gay thing was funny
Another one of my alltime favorite scenes here:
Moe: Hey, uh, I got an idea: we can play a game to pass the time.
Er, I'll make the sound of a barnyard animal, and, er, you

all try to guess what it is.
Ahem: [makes some

unidentifiable noise]Wiggum: It's a pig!

Bart: It's a cow, man.
Lisa: It's a pony.
Krusty: No, it's a goat. You know, one of them lady goats.
Selma: There are no lady goats: a lady goat is a sheep.
Hibbert: I believe she's right.
Otto: You're crazy.

McAllister: Arr, what's it to you?
Otto: What's it to _me_?
[everyone starts arguing]
Marge: Stop it! Stop it! Can't you see this barnyard noise
guessing game is tearing us apart?
[Ned still sings "Que Sera, Sera" outside]

Say, Moe, was it a duck?
[everyone argues again]

Homer: Shut up! Shut up! Stop it! Stop it. I can't take this any

more. I can't let that brave man out there die alone. I'm
surprised and disgusted by all of you -- especially his
children. I'm going out there!
[goes out, slams door behind him]
[pops his head back in] It was a baby ox.
Moe: He's right, you know.
Skinner: [surprised] About the ox?
Moe: About everything, dammit.

I am called Ham, because I enjoy ham radio.  This is Email...
Cosine...Report Card...Database...and Lisa. Your nickname
will be Cosmos.

Quimby: Now, here's what we think the impact might look like. Show
them, Jerry.
[first slide shows arrows pointing to "Springfield" and the
[second slide shows collision of two and an arrow pointing to
Moe: Oh, dear God, no!
[third slide shows smoking crater with arrows pointing to
"Charred Bodies"
Quimby: Fortunately we have a plan: Professor Frink?
Frink: Nn-hey, good evening, ladies and --
Man: [hysterical] Quit stalling! What's the plan?
Frink: All right, just take your seat, just take your seat.
[pulls a sheet off a model of the city]
Now, working with former Carter Administration officials and
military men who were forced into early retirement for various
reasons which we won't go into here, nn-hey, we have planned
this defense for the city: [flicks a switch] as the comet
hurtles towards the city, our rocket will intercept it and blow
it to smithereens.
[little models of the comet and rocket demonstrate]
[the comet explodes and catches "Moe's" on fire]
Moe: Oh, dear God, no!

Lisa: It blew up the bridge! We're doomed.
Homer: It's times like this I wish I were a religious man.
Lovejoy: [running down the street] It's all over, people! We don't have
a prayer, argh.

 Ned: I might go mad with fear out there, so Todd, I want you to shoot
Daddy if he tries to get back in.
Todd: OK, Dad. [weeps]

4.) Brother from the Same Planet
Season 4
Writer: Jon Vitti
What happened? Homer forgot to pick up Bart from soccer practice. It rained, Bart got mad and got a Big Brother Tom, again voiced by the late great Phil Hartman (damn his crazy, crazy wife) Homer then got a little brother to get even. Hilarity ensues.
Why #4? I don't think this episode is very high on many people's list, but it is again great from start to finish. There is no let down. The B story with Lisa on the Cory-line isn't the best, but the Bart/Homer/Tom/Pepi story is priceless. It is also very simple and believable. But it is sometimes these unassuming, less frequently seen eps that are the best.
Funny Stuff:
The episode starts with Nelson smoking at soccer practice, a good start indeed.
Next we have Homer forgetting to pick up Bart and ignoring all the signs.
Wheel of fortune puzzle "I'm on my way"
Millhouse writes trad pu kcip
Bart Starr
dog barks "Bart"
Maggie burps "Bart"
Pick a bar?
And then Homer's dream where Bart is dead is pretty nice too

And then he leaves immediately out of the bath.
Lisa "Dad, hide your shame."
Flanders "Hey Homer, I can see your doodle."
SNL spoof - "The Big Ear Family" and another Joe Piscopo reference
The Isotopes have "Tomato Day" and speaking before the game is the head of the Springfield Communist Party.
After Bart shows the ray gun at show and tell Millhouse "I have a horsey....Nayy, naay...."
Possibly the Best Itchy and Scratchy
You're not the  one who can abuse a non-profit organization!

Must you be forever
dialing that phone! Lisa

And the best "That's when it's time to kick some back!"

3.) Rosebud
Season 5
Writer: John Swartzwelder
What happened? Citizen Kane parody with Mr. Burns' lost bear Bobo
Why #3? Wow, so much stuff, so many gags. I think that is a critique of this episode, but I love it. I can't get enough. With other episodes on the list, I had to rewatch them to get some more quotes, I mean some stuff is obvious like "Boo-urns" and "kick some back" and "Steamed hams" but with these last 3 episodes, I remember all the gags. Brilliant stuff.
Funny Stuff:
Where to begin? I can't possibly write it all or give justice to the humor.
Here is a good way to try, though, just the classics

I have some sad news to report: a small puppy, not unlike Lassie, was
just run over in the parking lot.

[Audience gasps]
And now it's time for the comedy stylings of Homer Simpson!

Homer makes a triumphant entrance, but he is greeted with silence.

Homer: [exaggeratedly loud] Are you ready to laugh?
Man: Poor dog.

Homer: I said, are you ready to laugh?
Woman: Quiet, you awful man.

Smithers: [dressed in a bear suit] Here's something that should cheer
you up, sir. It's me, sir: Bobo! Hug me! Squeeze me!
[suggestively] Tug at my fur...

Apu: Chock full of heady goodness

Homer: Mmm...sixty four slices of American cheese.
[Takes the stack to the table and sits down]
Sixty four...[eats it]

Sixty three...[eats it]
[Next morning]
Two...[eats it really slowly]
One...[eats it]
[Marge walks in]
Marge: [incredulous] Have you been up all night eating cheese?
Homer: [slurred] I think I'm blind...

The end gag in the future is priceless too. Just watch this ep.

2.) Last Exit to Springfield
Season 4
Writer: Jay Kogen and Wallace Wolodarsky
What happened? Lisa needs brace (Dental Plan) Homer becomes head of the union and Burns tries to take away the dental plan. Homer leads the plant to strike. In the end, the workers get back their dental plan if Homer quits as union head, and he obviously does.
Why #2? Classic, classic episode. This one has an incredible amount of gags and quotes like Rosebud, but has a much strong, coherent story line which all the gags come from. Amazing stuff!
Funny stuff:
Where to start?
Dentist office was all funny, both with Lisa and Ralph
Homer's scar from the strike of '88. "I want a burrito! I want a burrito!"
  Lenny: So long, dental plan!
Homer: [thinks...]
Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny's voice: Dental plan!

Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.

Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
Chuckie: [as a prank, drops a pencil into the crack of Homer's butt]
Carla: Bull's-eye!
Homer: Thanks a lot, Carl. Now I lost my train of throught.
Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
Homer: If we give up our dental plan... ... ...

Burns: We don't have to be adversaries, Homer.
We both want a fair union contract.
Homer: [thinking] Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
Burns: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Homer: [thinking] Wait a minute. Is he coming onto me?
Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?
Homer: [thinking] My God! He coming onto me!
Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows.
[chuckle] [wink]
Homer: [thinking] Aaaaaagh!
Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans.
Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious,

but the answer is no!
I'll have to pay for Lisa's braces!

Bathroom gag was great and the ping-pong table in the leaky basement
don't forget picture day at school
Homer on the talk show
two-headed dog with frisbee
Classical Gas
back door to the super-secret room
I could go on and on, but seeing the real episode would be much better
ok, one more
"This is a thousand monkeys working at a thousand typewriters. Soon, they'll have written the greatest novel known to mankind. (reads one of the typewriters) "It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times"?! you stupid monkey! (monkey screeches) Oh, shut up."

1.) $pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)
Season 5
Writer: Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein
What happened? Springfield decides to increase revunue and noteability by building a casino. Homer works there, Mr Burn's goes whacko, Marge gets addicted to gambling and the family suffers, and Bart maes his own treehouse casino.
Why #1? This my not be the most expected choice, but I love it. It has laugh out loud and chuckle moments, lots of character appearences, crazy stuff, a great storyline, and the sense of the Simpsons as a family, flawed, but still together in the end. I feel this episode was hilarious (even moreso than the previous two) when I first saw it back in 1993, when I saw reruns when in high school, when I bought the DVD in college, and when I watch it today. Now that is the hallmark of a great episode. Despite what others may say, I stand by this as number 1
Funny Stuff:
So much again, a few of my favorites
Homer: Anyone lose their glasses?  [no one answers]
Last chance! [still no one answers]
[Homer fishes the glasses out of the toilet. He puts them on]
The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles
triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.
Man: That's a _right_ triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

My second favorite Simpsons scene, after Steamed Hams:
Lisa: Mom!
Homer: Huh -- wha -- Lisa! What's up?
Lisa: I just had a bad dream!
Homer: Oh, sure. You just lie down and tell me all about it.
Lisa: Well, I know it's absurd, but I dreamed the bogeyman was after
me, and he's hiding under --
Homer: Aah! Bogeyman! You nail the windows shut, I'll get the gun!
-- So much for parental guidance, "$pringfield"

Homer runs into Bart's room: "Bart, I don't want to alarm you, but there
may be a bogeyman or bogeymen in the house!"

Marge arrives home, squealing the tires as she stops in the driveway.
She gets to the front door and sees a hole has been torn through it, and
that chairs and other objects have been stacked against the knob. When
she opens it, Homer peeks up from behind a bent-over mattress on the
floor, aiming the shotgun at her and quivering. Bart, Lisa, and Maggie
look over at Marge, and everyone sighs with relief.

Marge: What happened here?
Homer: Oh, nothing, Marge. Just a little incident involving the

Another Great one
Homer: Hello, Florida!  [tapes an orange to her, but it falls off]
Lisa: [gasps] I'm not a state, I'm a monster! [sobs]
Homer: [wipes a tear away] No, Lisa. The only monster here is the
gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him
Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
And all the casino gags were great too
The fake Sigfred and Roy getting attacked by their tiger. WOW
Bond spoof
Rain Man spoof
Barney burping up coins
 [Barney watches Marge gamble]
Barney: Man, that's classic compulsive behavior.
[Sees a waitress holding a tray with three cups on it]
Wow, free beer!
[He chugs all three]
Man: Buddy, those are my quarters!
[Barney burps up some quarters]
Woman: This guy's paying off!
Homer running through the casino and giving everyone good luck.
 Man: A baby on the table!  That's good luck!
Everyone: Yay!
[The man throws the dice, and they come up double one]
Croupier: Snake-eyes. Sorry.
Everyone: Boo!
Bart's Casino
Goulet: Are you sure this is the casino?  I think I should call my
Nelson: Your manager says for you to shut up!
Goulet: _Vera_ said that? Hmph.

I remember this one I had to use the pause button and close captioning to see what Homer said at the end, that's how disgusted he was.
 Lisa: There's nothing to eat for breakfast.
Homer: You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie
crust --
Lisa: Maybe mom just doesn't realize we missed her. We could go down
to the casino and let her know...
Homer: Oh, come on, Lisa, there's no reason to -- [takes a bite] --
let's go see Mom now.
Crazy Burns
Burns: Aw, my beloved plant.  How I miss her -- bah!  To hell with
this. Get my razors! Draw a bath! Get these kleenex boxes
off my feet.
Smithers: Certainly, sir. And, uh, the jars of urine?
Burns: Oh, we'll hang onto those. Now, to the plant! We'll take the
Spruce Moose. [picks up the model] Hop in!
Smithers: But, sir --
Burns: [pointing a gun] I said, hop in.
Skinner: And special awards go to the two students who obviously had no
help from their parents: Lisa Simpson and Ralph Wiggum.
Ralph: I'm Idaho!
Skinner: Yes, of course you are.
A Great line to end the list with.
Homer: [grabbing Marge] Yer gotta redda kid forrad yarrar!
Marge: Homer, what is it? Slow down!
Homer: [slowly] J'yer gedda ferda redderarrar.
Marge: Think before you say each word.

Homer: You broke a promise to your child.
Marge: What?
Homer: You promised Lisa to help her with her costume. You made her
cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed -- she's such a little

And that is all folks. The end of the list. Wow! Lots of episodes, lots of laughs. The Simpsons is great. The best show of my time. It's been a good time writing this list. I know there are some many good episodes, it is very hard to rank them, even in tier form. Much of it comes down to personal preference. But we can all agree, it is the combination of the humor, the story telling, the absurb, the intelligent, and the sense of family that makes The Simpsons Great.
The show is now a huge part of American pop culture and maybe even culture.
Right Mr. Hutz?

Oh, sure, like lawyers work in big skyscrapers and have
secretaries. Look at him! He's wearing a belt.
[wistfully] That's Hollywood for ya.


Daniel said...

You bit off a mouthful by trying to rank Simpsons episodes, but you did an honorable job. This is a task I couldn't even begin to tackle but you did it and I have very few disagreements with anything on the list.

I especially like your choice for the number one episode. From start to finish that was a quality episode, with good plot, pace, and quotes. The first quote that popped into my head when I saw the episode title was with Goulet and Nelson telling him to shut up.

The only episode in the top 13 I would disagree with (and this is a borderline episode that probably has more to do with personal taste) is I would swap the Scorpio episode with Skinner's Badaaasss Song. I like the Scorpio episode, but it's a little too over the top for me. Good quote from Skinner episode:

Skinner: This is Armen's aparment, Armen's bed, and Armen's copy of Swank.

Homer: Can I see your copy of Swank Armen?

Daniel said...

I forgot all about the brother from another planet episode. That is a quality episode. Glad it made it in the top tier. I like the scene where Homer is showing Pepi (Pepsi) the constellations. "and that one is Jerry . . . the cowboy."

Tony, what seasons do you have on DVD? We should have a watching party of all the episodes from the top episodes. We could even turn it into some sort of drinking game.

Sonia said...

These all are really best episodes of the show. Also Watch The Simpsons Episodes from here with best quality. I like this show because I am a big fan of Animated shows.

Anonymous said...

The simpsons is really a Best show ever and i am a hug fan of the show.I have seen all the episodes whenever i missed a single episodes i watch Simpsons online and Enjoyed the show.

Anonymous said...

wht's the episode called when all the characters have a scene from their point of view and eventually all the scenes add up to each other????? (i love that episode, i just don't remember the name)♥♥TL

Anonymous said...

Trilogy of Error (S12E18)

Anonymous said...

Not a bad list. It amazes me that people do not appreciate the 100th episode, with Skinner getting fired because of Santa's Little Helper. The fact that you liked The Skinner and Chalmers bit made me assume it would be near the top. But again, nobody's list is gonna be the same..nice job.

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milou said...

Cape feare is the best simpsons episode, it should be in the top 3 at least!

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Michael said...

For me, the most poignant and "grown up" of the episodes is where Marge gets itchy and scratchy banned. The scenes where the children are playing in the open air and then the same settings deserted after itchy and scratchy is reinstated, are brilliant. The reference to Psycho is one of many classic movie references cleverly used in many episodes. Also being a beatles fan, I love the B sharps episode, very clever, parodies a lot of the actual beatles story

Bianca Jackson said...

Last Exit to Springfield totally deserves to be placed in the top 10 due to the references and fun it gives the viewers in terms of unions and its benefits (and the ending of an episode by sedation by laughing gas took the cake for me), and it made me reminisce about my past as an union member on the company in Las Vegas I worked for, and how dentistry evolved over the years.

Anonymous said...

Homer Goes to College should be on there. Otherwise good job.

Rob Walton said...

You included Bart Of Darkness, so you have my vote of support. Can't argue with any of the selections. I also notice that they're all from the first 8 seasons which is my personal cut off line for the Simpsons (movie excepted), so again, well chosen.