Survivor Redemption Island Review

Time for a quick review of Survivor 22: Redemption Island, The Good, The Bad, and the Redemption Island.

Good
Boston Rob- I was a fan from the start concerning the inclusion of Boston Rob and Russell in this season of Survivor. Like I said before, they would start the ball rolling episode one and allow you to enter right into the season to avoid the normal first few episodes where you don't really know anyone. And, man, Boston Rob is running this season. This has got to be the most controlling performance ever. He is making all the right moves and not even allowing the other tribe, and more importantly his tribe to make a move against him. They are not even thinking about it. Plus his actions concerning the idol he is in possession of are great too.

Don't eat the fish!

Phillip- Phillip symbolizes the reason why we still watch Survivor. People are weird. People are varied. People are entertaining. And Phillip is very entertaining. Survivor and Jeff Probst are totally pimping him out in all their promotional materials. It's a good thing he's around otherwise this season would all be Rob. Phillip is crazy, but every time you think he is totally crazy and helpless, he says something really smart about the game and you wonder if this guy is playing everyone and can actually win this thing. Then he wears a feather and you remember the faded red underwear and again think he is crazy.

Andrea- Andrea is definitely cute. She has that going for her. She is much more likable than other other remaining girls. I think she is a good player. I think she knows what Rob is up to. I think it was smart to stick with Rob and vote off Matt the second time. I do wonder what would happen if she would have went with Matt over to Zapatera. Well, she'll have to make some moves to really be a good player.

Underdog Tribe- Some of the best seasons of Survivor have the underdog tribe overcoming the odds and winning in the end. The best example of this is Cook Islands, but it can also be seen in Samoa and Tocantins where it was the result of the winning team's implosion. It gives you someone to get behind and be happy with then the tides turn.
This year is ripe for the same scenario, but alas, Rob is too strong to see this happen. At least we have players to root for.

Bad

Domination - Yes, this is the reverse of the underdog tribe. Rob and Ometepi are dominating. He has everyone his wing, in his back pocket, under this control. It was entertaining when Matt came back, but since them it's been a bore. Rob's voting of Matt and Ralph simultaneously using the idol was beyond ideal for Rob. That's what set up this potential bore fest for the next few weeks.

Rob's Girls - I hate players that don't do anything yet stay in the game, and not only that, but act like they are the shit and treat everyone else poorly like it's their God given place to be where they are. Ashley and Natalie fall under the don't do anything category, but aren't as bad as Candice and Danielle from Heroes vs. Villains, Crystal from Gabon, Alexis from Fans, and Courtney from China. They just don't deserve to be there and add nothing to the game.

Russell's Exit - The voting off of Russell was cool, but somehow the Redemption Island part made it anti - climatic. First, there was no finalization with the vote, and second, the Redemption Island challenges are weird. There just isn't the same intensity as immunity challenges. Something about the setup and the placement in the show. The voting off of Russell should have been a monumental moment, but in the end it was just him crying into his stupid hat.

Good and Bad
Grant - I like Grant, but it is sad to see him so used by Rob. Case in point when they found the idol clues. Grant is jumping up and down and literally shaking from excitement, but little does he know Rob already has the idol. You can see this again when he won immunity. He's excited because he won it for the team, but he really just won it for Rob. Rob knows he will have to vote him off at some point.

Redemption Island - The Redemption Island portion of the show has been disappointing thus far. It makes Tribal Council less important. The challenges themselves haven't been too great. And Matt has won them all.

This week has the potential of changing that. 3 people. What will happen? It would be an awesome F You to Rob if all three came back. It would be cool if two came back, but then we'd be in the same predicament as last week. But, for the first time, I am excited for Redemption Island. Should be fun.

ACL Review - She's Out of My League

As I'm no longer under the influence of drugs, I think it's time for my final ACL Review. See The Proposal and Hot Tub Time Machine for under the influence reviews.
My last ACL review will finally be a positive one. Friday night after the Brewers game, I watched She's Out of My League. I have to say the movie was great. It starred Jay Baruchel as an Average Joe who starts dating a superhot, super cool girl (Alice Eve). Yeah, it's a pretty unoriginal premise, but it works. We love it because we envision ourselves as the main character Kirk. That is pretty much the basics of it. We see it in a move and we think it can happen in our lives. Well, at least I do.
Aside from my perpetual daydreaming, it was a pretty funny, likable movie. Jay Baruchel is fast becoming one of my favorite actors. You may remember him as the main character in the short lived Judd Apatow show Accepted or as one of the friends in Knocked Up. He just comes off in a likable, very realistic way. I would hang out with this guy. He seems like he would hang out with me. I even considered adding the Sorcerer's Apprentice to my queue after watching this one.
The movie was similar to 40 Year Old Virgin and Role Models and all those movies, but aside from Baruchel, had an entirely different cast. Kirk's group of friends was kind of lacking at first. You often times compared them to the group of friends in Knocked Up. It's hard to compete with Jason Segel, Martin Starr, Jonah Hill, and Jay Baruchel. But they really grew on me throughout the movie. Each one of his three friends brought something different. There was a Napoleon Dynamite-esque one, a fat sincere one, and a young blond John Stamos. Lots of shit-shooting and ribbing, but deep down support and caring.
Kirk's family was very out there, quite ridiculous, but very funny and added to the elements of why you root for Kirk.
The plot was pretty formulaic, same as any movie in this genre or any contemporary romantic comedy for that matter - they grow together despite the circumstances, then they get in a fight, then they get back together. No spoiler alert here. You know this is going to happen. Maybe it is because of the super unrealistic person I am, but it all made sense. It felt real and not impossible.
Yeah, so this movie is funny. Guys, definitely check it out, girls, might not like it as much. One thing that might lead you to want to watch it even more - Hall and Oates cover band. Yep, this movie has one. Love it!

ACL Review - Kraven's Last Hunt

My preparation for my ACL surgery consisted of buying lots of easy to prepare food, setting up Netflix, setting up a bed on the first floor, and buying $100 worth of comics. I thought before hand that comics would be much better to read during recovery than real books. I was kind of right, but TV and movies is much easier than any kind of reading. This is America, right. On my list was Batman: The Long Halloween, The Sinestro Corps War, a bunch of Uncanny X-Men from 150s-190s, Warlocks containing the Magus Saga, and Kraven's Last Hunt, a great Spider-Man story.

Now I'm not a huge Spider-Man fan, but I heard a few things about Kraven's Last Hunt. It's kind of on the late 2nd tier of the best comic book stories ever. I started reading it and I really didn't get into it too quickly. It wasn't too engrossing. Now, though, I am glad I stuck it out and finished it. It was like no other comic story I have ever read. I'm talking about the way it was set up. The first issue was just a straight Spider-Man vs. Kraven battle. Then the second and third were pretty slow, totally just set up for the upcoming issues. Issue 4 was a cool Spider-man introspective, a very quick read, and then the 5th issue, originally Amazing Spider-Man 294 was simply amazing, one of the best single comic book issues I have ever read. This is saying something because I have probably read about 1,500 comics in my day. This is definitely in the top 10 single issues, no doubt. Then issue 6 is good, just good, but you don't really care at that point because the 5th part was so great, the true climax. You see in the end it really wasn't a Spider-Man story, but a Kraven story. It made this background, sometimes even mocked character into a true star.
Great stuff, overall, not among the best stories ever, but the fifth part, yes, amazing.

ACL Reviews Again

127 Hours - This was one of my DVD queue films. I was worried that it would drag on at points, but the acting of James Franco and the way it was put together by Danny Boyle really made it flow well. I really liked this one, but it is obviously not the type of movie you would want to watch multiple times.

G.I. Joe - This is not how I remember my great toys of youth. This movie was bad, really bad. The action was plentiful and laughable. Apparently Jamie Foxx wasn;t available to play Ripcord, so the part went to Marlon Wayans. Mr. Eko, you left Lost for this? Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Christopher Eccleston as the villains? The whole Sienna Miller as Ana/Baroness just didn't make sense. What has happened to your career Dennis Quaid? Lots of questions for this one. I am certain the 80s cartoons were better. This movie did, though, uncover my new Ginger of the Moment, Rachel Nichols as Scarlet. I like.

Toy Story 3 - Surprisingly serious and emotional. Fun, but not as good as the first two.

Shutter Island - This was the Scorsese/Dicaprio crime/mystery/thriller. It was pretty entertaining, good, but not great. It ended up being a wanna be Usual Suspects and, I'm not sure why, but often times reminded me of Minority Report. Great cast beyond Leo - Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley, Max Van Sydow, Michelle Williams, and camoe appearances by Patrica Clarkson and Jackie Earle Haley. Definitely worth adding to your instant queue.

Daybreakers - This the perfect instant Netflix, injury recovery movie. It's a movie that you know isn't going to be great or even very good, but it will entertain you. This one was one of the slew of vampire movies that have come out in the last few years. Pretty much being a vampire is the norm, but the earth is running out of humans to get blood from. Ethan Hawke is a vampire looking to return to humanity and meets Wilhem Dafoe, a former vampire now human and a band of humans on the run. Yeah, it doesn't make much sense, but it was good mindless entertainment.

More Than a Game - Four African American Hoop Stars - including Lebron James - test their unique bond when they prep for playoffs at their elite, largely Caucasian high school.
This was the tagline for this documentary following Lebron James at St. Vincent/St. Mary's, but it really has no socio-economic commentary. They never once mentioned the school being an elite, white school or any other facets of inner city black kids going to rich white prep schools for sports. It was pretty much just a documentary about Lebron's basketball team in high school. Cool, but coulda been much more.

More ACL Reviews

Spartacus - It took me 1 minute to realize this show sucked and another two minutes for me to realize it was utterly unwatchable. Has anyone ever enjoyed a Starz original program?

The Tudors - This one is cool, Showtimes attempt at a Renaissance drama. The one spans the life of King Henry the 8th. I'm not sure how far it goes into the reign of Elizabeth the 1st. Lots of sex. It's cool to see the behind the scenes royal court and political stuff. It goes painfully slow though. I really just want to see Henry's wives. Anne Boelyn is introduced in like the 3rd episode, but doesn't marry Henry until the 3rd season I think. I ended up watching the first 4 episodes then the last episodes of season 1 and 2. It's good, but not totally engrossing. There are probably lots of better TV shows out there to get into.

Billy Elliott - This one might be cheating as I've seen this film before, but it was still funny, fun, and entertaining. You root for this kid and his family.

Exit the Gift Shop - Cool documentary(?) about street art. The first 3/4 of this movie were real cool and gave a nice picture of street art and graffiti. The film then transforms into this weird statement on art and pop culture while focusing on the camera man turned artist. Is it mockumentary or documentary? Is it just another piece of pop art by Banksy? Interesting stuff, worth checking out.

Searching for Bobby Fisher - This movie definitely still holds up. Great story and moral. Amazing cast - Laurence Fishburn, Joe Mantegna, Ben Kingsley, Joan Allen, and cameos by Laura Linney and William H. Macy. It's one of those rare films where you find yourself rooting for every character.

ACL Review - Hot Tub Time Machine

The hits just keep on coming. I mean, I don't really have high standards, especially while on these percocets, but this is another bad movie. This one I was not surprised by. Judging by the previews and hearing reviews from people who saw it and thought it would be good but were disappointed, I knew this one wouldn't be very good.
Lots of problems:
John Cusack is not a comedy lead.
That random bald guy is not funny.
The barely even referenced the 80's. Why go back in time at all.
Oh, and the ending sucked. Doc Brown and Reed Richards would not have agreed with the outcome in this one.
Next time more hot tub, more time machine please.
I guess I should not expect much from my instant netflix movies. Shoot

ACL Review - The Proposal

Seriously, how the hell did this movie get made? This had the makings of a perfect recovery movie - it was available instantly on Netflix, it had good actors, and low expectations. But those expectations were low for a reason. Just look at the picture. You just know this movie is going to suck. Was there ever on doubt to exactly how this movie would play out? I mean, to call it formulaic would be an understatement. I like Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock, but wow, were they wasted. Some would call Betty White's performance a highlight, but here stuff on SNL was 10x better. What a waste of a talented cast. The only funny thing I can remotely remember was the character played by Oscar from the Office. At least that was unexpected.
I would rather have the lingering taste of my own vomit in my mouth than the lingering taste of The Proposal.

ACL Review - Cheese and Cheddar

So far the surprising All-Star of my ACL rehab snacking has been Keebler's Cheese and Cheddar Sandwich Crackers. You know the bright orange crackers with the fake cheese in the middle. I'm really loving them. For one, they are were easy on the stomach immediately after surgery. Also, they are not as dry or likely to stick to the mouth as the peanut butter ones and my mouth is still extra dry from the surgery. They are not greasy or too salty like other snacks would be. All and all, the surprising perfect post surgery snack.
Thanks Keebler.

ACL Review - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - This was a long one. I probably fell asleep 10 times during the movie due to my medication and the slow pace of the film. To me, it was cross between the Notebook and The Interview with the vampire. I feel the narrative structure has been used a lot before and the themes of have already been tackled in vampire movies. I do like Cate Blanchett, but the movie was pretty creepy towards the end.

ACL Review - The Social Network

So, I had ACL surgery yesterday. It wasn't too fun. If you can believe it, today kind of sucks. The pain is there, but manageable with drugs. There has been no real nausea, so it could be worse.
Anyways, I anticipate watching lots of movies and TV shows and reading comics books or other less dense reads and I thought I'd share these with my readers through this blog. You'll get a good list of my ACL activities, plus a bit more excitement with me being all drugged up. Surgery recovery is a great time to catch up on all those movies you haven't gotten around to and gives you a could excuse to watch stuff you wouldn't watch otherwise or stuff you were too embarrassed to watch previously.
Here we go.

The Social Network - This was the Golden Globe winner for best picture? Did I miss something here. Much of the movie was just dorky teenage boys acting like adolescent girls, trying to somehow get back at the people that made fun of them over the years. The viewer cannot empathize with any of the characters except maybe the friend Eduardo. The coolest part was probably the beginning with the whole match-book thing or whatever where you voted on the hotter girl. It was kind of like how Big Dunc pitted comic book characters and Lord of the Rings/Star Wars characters up against each other. It was cool seeing how quickly it spread.
Overall, this was an overrated movie. Oh, and Trent Reznor, your music wasn't that great.
It was also my first ever netflix movie. I only hope the rest are not as disappointing. I should have better stuff for you coming up1

Bracketology Part II

Today is the day the real bracket is revealed, but I thought I'd throw you another Actor Bracketology to whet your appetite.

Today's Bracket..............................Tom Cruise.

Yes. From the looks of it, this bracket is much more even. The top seeds are not as strong as was the case for Morgan Freeman and Tom Hanks. In fact, one could make an argument for seeds 1-12 of winning the entire thing. This bracket will not lack in drama. The evenness should bring a fun unpredictability.

Tom Cruise Bracketology

First Round

1. Maverick (Top Gun) vs. Bill Harford (Eyes Wide Shut)
Match: With or without Goose, Maverick shouldn't have any trouble with this one. He doesn't need to serenade any women, wisecrack at any mission briefings, or play any volleyball in this one. Bill Harford will self destruct looking for some wild orgy on the Naval base.
Winner: Maverick

8. Charlie Babbitt (Rain Man) vs. Lt. Daniel Kaffee (A Few Good Men)
Match: A classic 8/9 match-up here. It could go either way. Both characters are bit rough on the edges. You don't quite know their inner motivations until things really go wrong and their true quality shines through. Unfortunately for Charlie, he gets distracted by Rain Man who enters into the courtroom thinking Judge Wapner was in there. This is where Daniel shines, getting Charlie on the stand and bringing out "the truth" that he in fact hates the burden of caring for his brother. All public opinion crashes and the jury gives the win to Daniel.
Winner: Daniel Kaffee

5. Lestat (Interview with the Vampire) vs. 12. Frank T.J. Mackey (Magnolia)
Match: This one has the potential to get dirty. We have the vampire, already pretty homoerotic with Brad Pitt, and the "Respect the Cock" philosophy of TJ Mackey. Lestat quickly sees the insecurities through the brash exterior of Mackey and exploits his Daddy and Mommy issues. He even did his homework and brings in a large number of dogs to further fluster Mackey. Lots of blood at first, but it's all drank up at the end.
Winner: Lestat

4. John Anderton (Minority Report) vs. 13. Ray Ferrier (War of the Worlds)
Match, Cruise was outshone by Dakota Fanning in War of the Worlds. In Minority Report, Anderton had his eyes cut out. Damn.
Winner: Anderton

3. Nathan Algren (The Last Samurai) vs. David Aames (Vanilla Sky)
Match: Aames does have a quote from a Kanye West song about him and some nice female costars in Cameron Diaz and Penelope Cruz, but Algren is pretty badass. I did not want to like this movie, but ended up being pretty drawn in by Japan, Samurais, and Tom Cruise. He's good with a sword.
Winner: Algren

6. Vincent (Collateral) vs. 11. Jerry Maguire (Jerry Maguire)
Match: Not having a last name or even a real name, Vincent is a bit of a sleeper. The sidekicks of Cuba Gooding Jr. and Jamie Foxx might be a better matchup. Maguire has some good lines, but really nothing else. GSW to the 8 pound head of Jerry Maguire.
Winner: Vincent

7. Colonel Claus Van Stauffenberg (Valkyrie) vs. 10. Mitch McDeere (The Firm)
Match: Valkyrie is another movie I didn't really want to like. I think the was a huge media inundation of Cruise around this time, but the movie was tight and so was Van Stauffenberg. The Firm was cool too, but the name Mitch McDeere is just not cool enough to advance in this tourney.
Winner: Van Stauffenberg

2. Ethan Hunt (Mission Impossible I,II,III) vs. Brian Flanagan (Cocktail)
Match: Flanagan gets the nod of a number of other Cruise 80's characters due to his love interest Elizabeth Shue. The 80's were a great time for Shue. Flanagan really has no chance against Hunt and all his resources and trickery and technology. What is Flanagan going to do, throw a flaming cocktail at him?
Winner: Hunt

2nd Round
So all the hype surrounding the balanced bracket failed to produce a single upset. Will the second round do the same?

1. Maverick vs. 9. Daniel Kaffee
Match: Was Maverick deserving of the top seed? Daniel doesn't think so. He doesn't think he has much of a chance with the odds again so stacked against him, plus his father was a perennial Final Four participant. Luckily Demi Moore and Kevin Pollack come in to give Kaffee a pep talk. Kaffee shows up drunk and even tries to get into a cockpit to take Maverick down from the air. Maverick is very over confident and ends up crashing his plane before even making it to the battle.
Winner: Kaffee

4. John Anderton vs. 5. Lestat
Match: Another hot one here. Anderton begins on the case of Lestat when he learns he is going to commit a future murder. Anderton and his crew actual catch and imprison Lestat, but Lestat has been in worse situations. He bides his time, outliving the precogs, breaking out of prison and feasting on the elderly Anderton
Winner: Lestat

3. Nathan Algren vs. 6. Vincent
Match: History has showed us that guns are better than swords. This is extremely evident in The Last Samurai and will be no different in this battle.
Winner: Vincent

2. Ethan Hunt vs. 7. Van Stauffenberg
Match: Hunt is the heavy favorite in this one, but don't count out Van Stauffenberg. He almost ousted Hitler. But almost doesn't cut it. Ethan Hunt has almost died about 1,000 times, but always comes back to thwart evil in the end. The Eye-Patch will be no match for the numerous fake faces of Ethan Hunt.
Winner: Hunt

Final Four

9. Kaffee vs. 5. Lestat
Winner: Kaffee's luck and charisma have run out. Lestat without trouble.

2. Ethan Hunt vs. 6. Vincent:
Match: Ooh, this is a good one. You have an assassin vs an international spy. This one could go either way. Hunt has taken down many similar to Vincent, but never had to account for the great cab driver Jamie Foxx. Foxx gets Vincent wherever he needs, and despite all of Hunt's technology is always one step ahead of him. GSW to the fake face.
Winner: Vincent

Final

5. Lestat vs. 6. Vincent
Match: This is a battle I would like to see. I'm not sure my imagination can even comprehend how it plays out. I do know how it will end though, with a Vampire Vincent, possible the greatest movie character ever. Lestat will enjoy Vincent and try to turn him. Vincent will throw all his weapons at Lestat to no avail, but you know his guy will come prepared. He'll have a wooden stake in his supplies somewhere. And soon after Lestat makes Vincent a vampire, apparently victorious, Vincent will go all Buffy on Lestat.
Winner: Vincent

Don't underestimate the grey-haired.

Bracketology is Back!

Anyone remember the bracketology post I did a long while back that pitted Tom Hanks movie characters against each other in a 16 man bracket? No, well, check it out. Either way, it's March, lots of bracketology all around. I'd thought I'd try my hand at it again.

Today's bracket.......Morgan Freeman.

1. Red - The Shawshank Redemption vs. 16. Frederick Douglass (voice) The Civil War PBS
Match: This is a tough opening round for the top seed. Red again misplaces his bet, going for the "tall drink of water" Abe Lincoln instead of Frederick Douglass. Soon, though, Red realizes that despite Douglass's great voice, imposing hair, and large size, he is only a collection of still photographs and narration, not a real character. Red simply tapes Douglas to the wall where he remains for years and years until the Warden throws rocks at him.
Winner: Red

8. Scrap Iron Dupree (Million Dollar Baby) vs. 9. Hoke Colburn (Driving Miss Daisy)
Match: These guys might not have the best pedigrees. One is blind in one eye, sleeps on a dirty old mattress in a gym. The other and illiterate old black man who drives around an old Jewish woman. Both very good characters, but Scrap Iron wins due to his great name.
Winner: Scrap Iron

5. Lucius Fox (Batman Begins, the Dark Knight) vs. 12. John Rawlins (Glory)
Match: Tough match here for Fox. He'll start out well with lots of weapons, but he cannot put away the Civil War vet. Bruce Wayne does not show up and we have an upset.
Winner: Glory

4. Azeem (Robin Hood) vs.13. President (Deep Impact)
Match: Large Sword
Winner: Azeem

3. Ned Logan (Unforgiven) vs. 14. Gen. Billy Ford (Outbreak)
Match: This is the Wild, Wild West son! Ain't no diseased monkeys out here. If you can't catch Dustin Hoffman, you ain't taking down Mr. Logan.
Winner: Ned Logan

6. Nelson Mandela (Invictus) vs. 11. Alex Cross (Along Came a Spider, Kiss the Girls)
Match: Morgan Freeman on Nelson Mandela "It was the part I was born to play!" But Nelson Mandela is old. It was nice when he put on that Springboks jersey, but Alex Cross was in two movies. A close battle. Cross calls in Ashley Judd to distract Mandela for the upset.
Winner: Alex Cross

7. God (Bruce Almighty) vs. 10. Mr. Clark (Lean on Me)
Match: Maybe God should really be the top seed. But true to form, God gives his power to Mr. Clark. Mr Clark uses it to clean up his school of gangs and drugs, pass the state tests, and shut up the woman from Carmen San Diego. After all that, he defeats God.
Winner: Mr. Clark

2. Detective William Somerset (Seven) vs. 15. Theodore Joadson (Amistad)
Match:Amistad is a great film with some great performances, but Freeman's was overshadowed. Seven was a great film with some great performances, and Freeman's was the best of the bunch.
Winner: Somerset

SECOND ROUND

1. Red vs. 8. Scrap Iron
Winner: Red, easy.

12. John Rawlins vs. 4. Azeem
Winner: English! English! Behold, Azeem Edin Bashir Al Bakir. I am not one of you, but I fight! I fight with Robin Hood. I fight against a tyrant who holds you under his boot! If you would be free men, then you must fight! Join us now, join Robin Hood!

3. Ned Logan vs. 10. Alex Cross
Winner: Ned

2. Somerset vs. 10. Mr. Clark
Winner: Mr. Clark - a big upset here. Mr. Clark gives up his God power to return to the school. Someone sends him Sams' head in a box, things get wild.

Morgan Freeman Final Four

1. Red vs. 4. Azeem
Match: Wow, this could be the final. Azeem is a lot like Xavier or maybe Boise State in football, a great team in a bad conference, or in this case, bad movie,who always gets ubderrated. Azeem is a great character, but not many people look back fondly on Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. Red on the other hand is the best character in one of the best movies ever. Sorry Azeem, you are cool, albeit missed placed in Nottingham, but Red is a man who knows how to get things. In this case, he's getting the W.
Winner: Red

3. Ned Logan vs. 10. Mr. Clark
Match: Mr. Clark has come a long way from Eastside High, but does he have what it takes to survive in the Wild, Wild West? Things heat up when Mr. Clark learns "some guy is beating up Kid Ray". Logan rolls in with some guns and the fight is pretty much over before it began. No contest.
Winner: Ned Logan

Final

1. Red vs. 3. Ned Logan
Match: One thing is for sure, Ned Logan's portly Native American wife is going to be pissed! These characters are actual pretty similar. Both make mistakes as young men and mature as they grow older. Both are the moral compass of their respective films without being the main characters. Both bring compassion and goodness to places it is often times lacking. In the end, though, Red uses his roof tarring skills, his getting things skills, his library experience, and his map of Zihuatanejo and defeats the reluctant outlaw.
Winner: Red. There really was no other way anyone else was going to win.

Get busy living or get busy dying.

Survivor 22

I first off must admit that last season's Survivor was the first season I did not complete. I got a little over half way through and stopped watching. There has been seasons before that I have not watched in their entirety, but last season was the first time I totally bailed. I had to look up online to see how won.

A couple early thoughts on Season 22.
I used to not be a fan of All-Star seasons, but the one last year was great. I wasn't excited for Russell and Boston Rob again, but having the 2 veterans really allows you to jump right into the season. There is no feeling around episodes. Those two are running thangs right away. It makes for good viewing.
This "redemption" format sounds a whole heck of a lot like Real World/Road Rules Challenges, not that I'm complaining. Those things are pretty entertaining. I'm not sure it will add to Survivor, though. We'll see. It is definitely a safeguard to keep Boston Rob and Russell in the game. The previous "redemption" ploy off the Pearl Islands, was kind of lame, bringing back Burton and Lil, not really offering much to the season.
Will there be real water challenges this season?

Alright, let's take an early look at this year's cast.

Boston Rob - I like him, glad he's back, much better without Amber.

Andrea - I like her. She is cute and hot. There's something about her very alluring, must be that Wisconsin up-bringing. I think she could make it far under the right circumstances.

Kristina - Fake boobs, loner, won't be around for long.

Grant - So this guy was an NFL football player. I see him making the jury and then going out as the "threat". On a side note, someone once asked who I would choose to look like if I could look like anyone in the world, ok maybe I poised this question just so I could answer it, but anyways, my answer was James from Survivor, but now Grant is a close second. No homo.

Philip - Yes! This guy is great. Vastly entertaining. I don't think he'll make it far, so take it in while you can.

Natalie - Apparently this chick is 19. I think that is too young. she might go far under someone's wing, but will not be a major player.

Ashley - I like her. She's hot, but not too hot that that's her only asset. I predict she will go far.

Russell - Too cocky, but that was the case last season too, but he still made it to the final. Definitely brings the entertainment value.

Steve - The new Tom - Older, grey, strong. Apparently another ex-nfl player. He should go far, maybe taking over as team leader once Russell is gone.

Julie - she could definitely kick my ass.

Sarita - hasn't really said too much yet.

Stephanie - power hunger young girl on Russel's teet. She's the type of girl that would scan the bar at bar time looking for a drunk guy she couldn't otherwise get, a muskrat or 'skrat, as we called them back in the day.

Krista - Kind of weird, also on the Russel train.

Ralph - Yes, the hairy redneck. I can't wait til this guy pulls one over on Russell

Mike and David - Two younger white guys, don't know much about them. One was in Iraq, one is kinda dorky, but they'll take down Russell and be best buds.

I see the season building to a Russell/Boston Rob Redemption Island showdown in about week 7 or 8 and then falling off after that.

Stay tuned kids!

Where No Survivor Has Gone Before

Another late winter, another season of Survivor. Those post's title does not refer to the stupid elimination battle which we are yet to see or the "Survivor 2nd Chance/Survivor What If...?" promos. That might be the worst thing ever. Before I delve, into this season, I thought I'd take a look at places Survivor has never been, but should go. I once heard a rumor it was going to be in Jordan, but had to back out before they started due to fear of Middle East Violence. Interesting.
Let's take a quick recap of where Survivor has been.

1. Borneo - cool
2. Australia - cool, but not as cool
3. Africa - eh, sounded cool, but pretty much just desert.
4. Marquesas - super cool, Waterfalls
5. Thailand - don't remember much
6. Amazon - Sounded cool again, but kind of boring. Piranhas.
7. Pearl Islands - Panama, pretty cool. Rupert.
8. Pearls again
9.Vanuatu - Maybe the best scenery
10. Palau - Awesome
11. Nicaragua - I think the toughest conditions ever
12. Panama, again, some real good challenges, though
13. Cook Islands, tied with Vanuatu for best scenery, and better challenges
14. Fiji
15. China - better than expected

16. Micronesia - not bad
17. Gabon - a much better Africa
18.Tocantins - Brazil again
19. Samoa
20. Samoa again
21. Nicaragua
22. Nicaragua again

A few notes: First, landlocked places are bad. It is clear all the best seasons took place on the water. I'd say 80% of the best challenges were water based. 2nd, WHAT THE FUCK happened to the water challenges?!!!! Seriously, I understand there being only fabricated water in Nicaragua, but Samoa, it's an island. Why no water challenges? To tell you the truth, I don't remember an true water challenges - with boats, and swimming, and diving since Micronesia.
Bring back the water. My only guess is that someone died or seriously got hurt in a practice challenge. The truth is out there.

Also, I've often heard people pitch ideas of a cold location, but that would not work. No one would do anything. It would be super boring, and there would be no eye candy.
Ok, since the produces have gotten seriously lazy, I will provide them with the answers of where to take Survivor next.

1.Madagascar - Yes, this would be the best season yet. You got the ocean, mountains, animals that exist nowhere else in the world. This is the season I will be on.
2. Maldives or Seychelles - I hear these are among the most beautiful places in the world. Tons of small private islands would make a perfect location for an upcoming Survivor Season.
3. Okinawa - "Japan here. China here. Okinawa here."
4. Tuvalu - We've had Palua and Vanuatu, let's get another South Pacific, ending in "u" island. It could be the atoll season.
5. Pitcairn - Yes. Following in the footsteps of real life survivors, though the descendants of Fletcher Christian have not fared too well as of late.
6. Easter Island - see Survivor commercialize more ancient ruins

7. Suriname - I don't know why, but I just imagine Suriname as having both loads of rainforests, swamps, and Caribbean Sea beaches.

Let's make it happen Jeff Probst.

More Super Bowl Thoughts

I thought I'd look back on some of awesome events and circumstances that make this team and this season so special. This group is full of great stories. Of course we all know the Rodgers/Favre story and the Clay Matthews walk-on story, so I'll take a look at a few other stories about the 2010/2011 Packers and Super Bowl XLV.



-Jarrett Bush-

I've read a lot of Super Bowl coverage, but I can't believe how little people have mentioned Jarrett Bush. This guy has been the whipping boy of the media and fans for years. He would get sh** on nearly every time he was on the screen. How he is still on this team, I do not know. The perennial special teamer I guess. He has been burned more times than I know and just looks awful pretty much every time he has been in there. Career Stats: 78 games played, 1 interception. 1 Superbowl, 1 interception. He came through when it counted (I'll ignore his getting burned just a few minutes later for the Hines Ward TD.) I'm happy for him, and I'll lay off him for at least next season.

Week 15 - The Packers were so close to not even making the playoffs. Everyone remembers the Giants 4th quarter collapse to Mike Vick and the Eagles in week 15 that allowed us to control our own destiny, but it was also the week 15 overtime victory by the Lions over the Buccaneers that also got us into the playoffs. This was just as improbable. The Lion, going in with 26 GAME ROAD LOSING STREAK, got the ball back at their own 32 down by three with no timeouts left, 1:39 left, and Drew Stanton as quarterback. Somehow he marched them down the field for the game tying and game winning field goal. Thus the Packers are in the playoffs and not the Bucs.
Thanks Drew Stanton.

Al Harris - This is one regret. I wish Al Harris could've been on this team. It would have been great to see him come in for the injured Charles Woodson and save the day. Anyway, still a great Packer and owner of one of the best ever Packers plays. I'm sure he was watching the game proudly.

Atari Bigby - Despite doing little to nothing this season, it was great to see Bigby leading the troops out of the tunnel.

Rodgers Celebration - A-Rodg had a nice Jim Valvano moment after the Steelers missed their 4th down play to end the game. Running around like a kid, looking for someone to hug. Each time ESPN showed it they cut away right before he finally met someone. I wonder who the first person he hugged was.

Desmond Bishop - This guy was our 4th middle linebacker at the start of the season. Injuries to Nick Barnett and Brandon Chillar make him a starter. He steps up during the season and makes HUGE plays in the playoffs. Kudos too to Frank Zombo for coming out of nowhere to dutifully replace the also injured Brad Jones and Brady Poppinga.



AJ Hawk - Another unsung member of our great linebacking core. He will never have the hair, the speed, the big play ability of Clay Matthews, and I'm sure Clay's girlfriend is much better looking than Brady Quinn's sister, but Hawk was solid all season long, not spectacular, maybe not up to the level of a top 5 pick, but he was a key contributor to the Super Bowl march, especially after all the LB injuries. It was nice to see him on NFL Countdown reflecting on everything.

Howard Green - Huge guy, huge play, forcing Big Ben into the INT. Love his story being castaway by the Jets, then helping beat them the next week. Also, who can forget how little his jersey was in his first game with the Packers?




Shaun Suisham - Cut by the Cowboys, Redskins, Browns, and Rams this guy was then attempting a 52-yard field goal in the Super Bowl. Anyone surprised with the outcome of that kick? Wow.

Johnny Jolly - Lastly,lots of people want to know what Brett Favre was doing during the Super Bowl, but I oh so desperately want to know what Johnny Jolly doing. Did he watch the game? Did he go to Dallas? Did he get arrested? He is from Houston and apparently not yet in jail, so I'm going to speculate it was some sort of liquid codeine binge eventually meeting up with Lil Wayne to celebrate the Packers victory. Lots of purple drank and Styrofoam cups. Yes!

Super Bowl Champs! Even the stories at the periphery are great. Thanks for the contributions guys.

Green Bay Packers 2011 Super Bowl Champions!!!

The Green Bay Packers are Super Bowl Champions! Yes, we did it. And unlike many teams, we is the proper identifier, not they. The Packers are our team. I'm sure you become even a closer member of the Packers the closer you get to Green Bay. Everyone in the week approaching the Super Bowl was loving Green Bay and the Packers and what they represent, from Rick Reilly to Rachel Maddow. The Packers are unique and WE are champions.

I think the word that best described my post game feeling was content. I wasn't elated or running through the streets, I was simply content. I was happy, but content was the best word. I think a lot of it was the way the game went. The biggest celebration plays were early. I just sat back Sunday night and felt like there were no problems in the world, that everything was just a bit easier. Content.
Also, I wanted to take everything in. I remember the 1997 Super Bowl very well, but remember very little about the season itself. This season I was in for the long haul. My feelings Sunday night and still today were about the culmination of the season, of the journey.

For me, the picture that best tells the story about the 2010/2011 was the celebration after the final kneel down. Aaron Rodgers (of course) hugging Brandon Jackson and Andrew Quarles. What? Yes. Those are the guys in the game. Not Ryan Grant. Not Jermichael Finley. Not Donald Driver. It just showed the devastating injuries the Packers had and that it did not matter to Aaron Rodgers. He worked with whatever was available to him.

Let's look at it again. 2nd youngest team in the NFL. 15 players on the IR. The most games missed due to injury. Woodson and Driver go down. Super Bowl champs!

About the game itself, wow, it was eerily similar to the Bears game and especially the Eagles game. Packers dominate, don't put it away at right before halftime, come out with the ball, 3 and out, other team gets a TD right back in the game, another huge Packers TD, other team scores again, goes for 2, later get the ball back, Packers hold on for the win. Man, holding on! Making you sweat, making it tense. Wow, still feeling it.
Super Bowl.

Super Bowl Preview

Wow, the Packers are in the Super Bowl! This isn't a surprise obviously, due to the two weeks of non-stop media coverage, but it still doesn't quite seem real. I'm not used to my teams winning.
But we're not done yet! Sunday is the big game.

I have to say I'm feeling pretty good. I feel everything that could have gone wrong went wrong against the Bears. Penalties reared their head again. Rodgers threw a Red Zone interception (Favre-esque) which never happens. And that other interception, that was beyond a fluke; it was just miraculous. And the whole 3rd string quarterback was pretty wild too.
I don't think I see those things happening again.

So, on to Sunday. What do I see? Well, I think the Packers are the better team. Let's take a look at why we will win or why we won't win.

Why The Packers will win:
- Better team - the Pack has amazing depth. I think 1-22 or 1-53, we are easily the better team. I know that does not translate to winning necessarily, but it plays a big role. Just look at how many different guys have stepped up in the playoffs.
- Aaron Rodgers and his receivers - Yeah, I don't really need to say much about this. Rodgers is sick and so are the receivers. He can pass, run, avoid the rush, make the deep throw, make the finesse throw, get big. We have 4 great receivers and big Brett Swain waiting to get his chance in those five wideout packages.
- Stopping the run - this one isn't for certain, but if they can stop the run, they got the game. The big guys inside do pretty well, and the should get at that less than full strength o-line of Pittsburgh.
- Pressure on Big Ben - You know, I don't really think Roethlisberger has had that great of a season, pretty average in fact. We will put pressure on him from the D-line, from the linebackers, and from Chuck Woodson. If we can keep him from escaping, he will throw picks.


Why the Packers will lose:
- Special Teams - this was a huge positive against the Bears, but I'm still not sold. Crosby cannot seem to kick it deep, and a "good" kickoff spot for the Packers is like the 35. Oh, and let's not forget that offensive lineman return against New England.
- Short Yardage Situations - I know all the fans, myself included, love Kuhn, but in my opinion, the Packers have been pretty poor in short yardage situations, especially near the goal line. The Steelers had that big stand against the Jets. Look for this to be key. Getting 3 instead of 7 or having to punt from the 40 or 50 is huge in the Super Bowl.
- Tight Ends - If one put together a list of the best tight ends over the last 5 years, I don't think Heath Miller would be on many people's lists, but the guy is good. The guy is consistent. He's played in big games. And the Packers are susceptible against the Tight End, especially down the middle which is the bread and butter of Miller. If Miller gets going, those safteys cheat toward him, and Wallace is gone.
And, of course, the tight ends for the Packers are not much. Hopefully they will not be a liability.
- Drops - There is nothing like a dropped pass to kill a drive. It frustrates the fans to no end and kills momentum. I don't have to tell you that despite the greatness of the Packers receivers this season, dropsies have been a problem.
- Fumbles - I'm not sure why I put this one in. Maybe because I feel good about Rodgers not throwing an INT, but I'm leery of fumbles. I guess its from years of watching Ahman Green and now Brandon Jackson and Ryan Grant. Hold on to the ball.
- Inability to close - If the Packers let the Steelers stay in the game, they will take advantage unlike the Eagles and Bears. Dominating the game doesn't matter if you don't dominate the score board too.

What won't matter:
Experience - a non issue. These guys have all played big games before. Once you get on the field you just do your thing.

One more thing:
Go Pack Go!

Ranking the Harry Potter Characters

I was going to write a few more things about the Harry Potter Characters, but I the end, I was going to rank them anyways, so, I thought I'd just skip to that.

I left out Ron, Hermione, Harry, Voldemort, and Dumbledore on purpose. They are the main characters and don't need to be ranked. Hagrid was purposefully omitted because he sucks.

Criteria - Ok, my criteria is always a bit flakey, but usually, we are looking for the best character in the literary sense of the word - Do they add to the story? are the entertaining? do they invoke emotion in the reader? Would something be missing if they were absent? Obviously, if they are likable, they will be higher on the list. You'll see a lot of people from last posts list on this list as well. I think wanting to know more about a character is a key quality.

The Top 35 Harry Potter Characters.

35. Peeves - comic relief, but a bit annoying.
34. Xenophilius Lovegood- An interesting character, told a good story, but sold Harry out.
33. Cho Chang - Cho was very similar to many girls from my teenage years. You were all about her for a short time, but then she really fizzled out quickly.
32.Cornelius Fudge - He was a very present character, but really didn't do all that much.
31. Wormtail - You need a character you hate yet feel some pity for.
30. Narcissa Malfoy - Brought some much needed humanity to Draco
29. Oliver Wood - This mother loves quidditch!
28. Lavender Brown - a bit annoying, but played her role well, and brought Ron and Hermione together.
27. Mad-Eye Moody - I'm conflicted on this one. Moody was real cool in Book 4, but that was actually Barty Crouch Jr. The rest of his contributions were not too substantial.
26. Lucius Malfoy - You need villains. He was a good one, not a great one.
25. Percy Weasley - Another character it was easy to hate, but he had the transformation at the end.
24. The Dursleys - Wow, read #25. Dudley made the biggest chance of the family. That was one of the more interesting parts of Book 7
23. The Gaunts - They added a different element to the series. They were intriguing and showed much about Voldemort's character.
22. Igor Karkaroff
21. Remus Lupin - Lupin is the favorite character of some people, but he was a bit inconsistent for me. He was great in Book 3, but king of tailed off for me. His whole wanting to come with Harry in Deathly Hallows was kind of weird.
20. Barty Crouch - Sr. and Jr.
19. Ludo Bagman - Provided a foil for all the serious, earnest wizards and witches we met.
18. Arthur Weasley - Couldn't you see Arthur as your friend's father? The moral compass for the Weasley family and one of the few that always trusted Harry with the tough truth.
17. Fred and George Weasley - 2 parts comic relief, one part faithful friend and brother.
16. Cormac Mclaggen - As I said in the last post, I wanted to see more of this guy. He reminds me a bit of the Cobra-Kai, but I think he had a good heart. A good supporting character.
15. Draco Malfoy - I'm also conflicted on Draco Malfoy. His portrayal is inconsistent. He at times is just evil for no reason. We get a little better character insight of him in Book 6. There he shows humanity and much more depth, but I feel there was opportunity for more.
14. Sirius Black - Sirius was a cool character, but I feel he could have also been explored more. He was Harry's father figure and wanted to be his friend, but I think the toll years in Azkaban could have been more prominent.
13. Regulus Black - Odd that Regulus makes it here above this brother, but as a minor character, he was the bomb. See yesterday's post for more, but in such an odd role, Regulus was perfectly portrayed.
12. Horace Slughorn - A good mix of teacher and misguided teacher wanting to still make amends. A realistic portrayal I think.
11. Dolores Umbridge - The most unlikable character in the entire series, and that is saying a lot. A very great villain. So misguided, but a great example of what Harry and Dumbledore were up against.

10. Mungundas Fletcher - A great foil to almost every other wizard on the good guy's side. This guy failed in almost every way. You need that presence.

9. Victor Krum - Krum played his role well - foreigner, outsider, friend, ally.

8. Neville Longbottom - Neville showed the most growth in the series. He was originally the screw-up, the one no one wanted to sit next to or work with, but turned into a leader. A great example of how 7 books allow for character growth and of Rowling's message of including all no matter how seemingly unfitting they appear.

7. Bellatrix Lestrange- Another one to hate, but this time you don't really need any further character exploration, bitch is just crazy.

6. Gilderoy Lockhart - A great literary character. His personality and true personality just fit the 2nd book so perfectly. You wanted to hate him and his cowardly ways, but couldn't. One of the first examples of Rowling showing that characters are not always as the appear.

5. Cedric Diggory - The prime example of honor, friendship, fairness. I think even Harry said he couldn't dislike him even when he tried. He may be a bit one-dimensional, but that fits his role. Also, his death was a turning point in the story.

4. Kreacher - I'm a big fan of the journey of the character, of a character changing due to the environment he or she is placed in, of the character learning from past mistakes. This can be seen in Neville, Harry, Hermione, Ron, and in my number one and two choices on this list, and we see glimpses of the downward change in Voldemort. Kreacher is a drastic example, going from one of the most hated and frankly worst characters to one of the best. He really came through for Harry and the good side in book 7, a nice turnaround.

3. Professor McGonagall - McGonagall illustrates the the other type of great character. It doesn't have to be all about change and transforming, consistency works too. McGonagall is the most consistent person in the book. We don't need to know her back story to see what see is all about. She is a caring teacher and role model, but also one you would not want to mess with.

2. Severus Snape - So I think I'm putting Snape number 2 because most people think I will put him 1. He is a great character no doubt. He has the journey. He has the mystery. He most importantly, has elements of good and evil. Even when at his most surly, even when you don't know any of his back story, you still like him, or at least want to see more of him and know more of him. That is the mark of a good character. Snape is again the sign of the complexity that a 7 book (7 year) series allows for. In one book, he never really does anything that great (accept for maybe book 6) and could not show dynamic change either, but as a body of work, is an amazing character.

1. Luna Lovegood - Yes, Luna Lovegood is the best character in the Harry Potter universe. She presents a lot of things that make Harry Potter what it is. She is different and funny, but most importantly sincere. She has this connection with Harry and other characters that makes her super likable, but also super crucial. And like most of my rankings, it is easier to be the favorite when you are a minor character. Luna is just on the fringe of being a major character, but being a minor character makes her free from mistakes. Every time she is present it is important, it adds value, you wait for it, whereas Snape had a few appearances that weren't all that great or even necessary.

There you go Harry Potter fans.

Harry Potter Characters

Well, I thought about ranking my favorite Harry Potter characters, which I might still do, but after looking at them I instead decided to divide them up into characters 1. I want to know more about 2. character I wish were around less and 3. characters that were porttrayed just the right amount, kinda like a Goldilocks version of Harry Potter characters.
First we'll look at the characters I wanted to see more and want to know more about. In the Star Wars Universe there was once a time where you could make a list like this, but after hundreds of books have added to the official lexicon, you know pretty much everything about every single character who had even a half second of screen time. I'm glad HP is not yet to that point. These are by no means the best Harry Potter characters, just the most intriguing ones.

Most Intriguing Harry Potter Characters

1. Regulus Black - Wow, I want to know everything about this guy. How did he and Sirius get along? Why did he become a Death Eater? Why did he turn away from Voldemort? How did he find out about the Horcrux? How did he get the Locket in the Cave? Yes, I want to know more!
He is also an odd character as he is never really in the books if I correctly recall, not even in flashbacks. He is just talked about by others. Interesting. Regulus would be my first choice for a Harry Potter spinoff, "The Dark Adventures of Regulus Black". A great examination of a tortured soul it would be.

2. The Gaunts - The House of Gaunt was one of the best chapters in the series. Here, shown only in flashback. You get access to a piece of the magical world not yet seen. How did the Gaunts come to this? What did they do before this? How did they interact with muggles? Did they go to Hogwarts?
Are there other wizards like this? Lots more to know.

3. Cormac - I might be in the minority here, but I really like this guy. He was pretty funny in both the book and the movie. Where did he come from? What did he do in all his years at Hogwarts in in Gryffindor that we didn't see him? I wish he would have been used more.

4.Cedric Diggory - The All-American boy, if he was American. What was his life like before the Triwizard tournament, just breaking the hearts of girls everywhere?

5. Professor McGonagall - Mcgonagall has to be the most consistent character in the series, and maybe the most realistic. She never wavers. She fights for good, cares about her students, but doesn't always give Harry the benefit of the doubt when he does something stupid. This would be my second pick for a Harry Potter spin-off, "Young Minerva McGonagall" I imagine it would be like Sabrina the Teenage Witch, but sluttier. Tell me she wasn't saucy in her younger years.

6. Professor Slughorn - I only wish we had a few more years with Slughorn. We had glimpses of his past, but I want more.

7. Barty Crouch - Going for Sr and Jr here. I like the prim and proper, by the book Crouch. His story is actually rather touching. With Jr., man there are a lot of unanswered questions. What did he do to go to Azkaban? How did he know so much about Moody? Why was he such a damn good teacher? Why did he do that weird tongue licking thing in the movie?

8. Luna Lovegood - Great character, but where was she in years 2-4? Also, seeing her at Hogwarts without Harry, Ron, and Hermione in Deathly Hallows would have been interesting.

9. Ludo Bagman - Got to love a gambling addict.

10. Victor Krum - This could be another great spin-0ff, "Victor at Durmstrang" or "Krum, the Hungarian Heartthrob".

11. Draco Malfoy - We did get a lot about Draco. Most of the time he was just a huge a-hole. I guess it was his upbringing, but I would like a little more depth.

12. Mundungus Flectcher- I like this dirtbag. He adds something to the Order of the Phoenix and the good guys.

13. Percy Weasley - I'm not sure why I like Percy, but I do. He is definitely a douche, but I can just imagine him going home every night and crying himself to sleep.

14. Xenophilius Lovegood - A good addition to the last book.

15. Aberforth Dumbledore - He did what with goat? A good foil to Dumbledore.

16. Borgin - Dude owns a Dark Magic artifact store. That has got to spark your interest.

17. Igor Karkaroff - What did he do to go to Azkaban? How did he reform? How did he die?

18. Lavender Brown - I'm pretty sure all we know about her is she likes to snog and likes unicorns.

19. Blaise Zabini - Just to prove that there is more to Slytherin than Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle

20. Ernie Macmillan - Hufflepuff!

Ranking the Harry Potter Books

I'm sure you know that here at Big Dunc we are very fond of making lists. We are also very fond of popular culture (maybe edging toward the geekier side of it), and though we have given a great amount of attention to Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Lost, and comics, I believe there has been only one Harry Potter post, actually being one of the first ever Big Dunc offerings.
Anyways, let's rank 'em.

Ranking the Harry Potter Books.

7. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
There are numerous reasons why I rank Deathly Hallows as the worst Harry Potter book, the biggest being that it was just a rather poor ending to a great series. It was too long, too inconsistent, too all-action all the time - jumping from one crisis to another without much really happening. You just read it to see what happened instead of enjoying all of it. I think being almost Hogwarts-less really led to an absence of magic that was present in all the other volumes. I'm a big fan of reflection, but really, were chapters like the Shell Cottage really necessary? Overall it just felt forced and lacked the sincerity of many of the other books.

Best Parts:
Battle of Hogwarts
7 Harry Potters
Kreacher and Dobby's sacrifice
Ollivander
seeing characters like Luna and Neville come into their own.
learning a bit more about Snape
destroying the locket.

Bad parts:
Harry and Dumbledore at King's Cross
Dumbledore's past revelations
Bathilda Bagshot
all the moodiness of Harry, Ron, and Hermione
The Epilogue
Dumbledore's Will
the long times at the House of Black and the Ministry of Magic
Snapes quick death


6. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
I know this is the one that started it all, but when compared this the vastness of the next books, it just can't hold up. All the introductions were cool. It was fun to be like Harry and be new to all this stuff, but the story itself wasn't too complex or too exciting.

Best Bits:
Newness - Quidditch, Diagon Alley, Hogwarts
Mirror of erised

Bad bits:
Quirrell
ending - saved by love?
Norbert
Nicolas Flamel - lots of put into the importance of Flamel who really had nothing to do with the story itself


5. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Order of the Phoenix had some of the coolest parts in the entire Harry Potter series, but also some of the worst. It ranks as number 5 mostly due to these inconsistencies. There is a lot of up and down. Action will happen (see the Dementors in the first chapter) but then will be followed by lots of inaction. The normal story arch is not present. At times it is a collection of events and tales rather than a focused, single story.

Best bits:
Dumbledore's Army - the recruitment and training - one of the best sequences of the entire series, making minor characters relevant.
Dolores Umbridge - maybe the best villain of the series
O.W.L.s - I like the academic stuff
Luna Lovegood - possibly my favorite Harry Potter character
House of Black
Cho - both good and bad - you rooted for Harry, but it contributed to the uneven story
Fred and George's exit

Bad Bits:
The Hearing
Dumbledore not talking to Harry
Harry always being Moody
Occlumency - the Snape/Harry scenes were great, but nothing really become of it
The Prophesy
Grawp/Hagrid


4. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
This one might come in 7th place on many people's lists, but I actually like the simplicity. It was a neat story without too much excess. You had the mystery and the ending did not disappoint. It had the classic narrative structure - continual rise to climactic ending. New doors were opened in the Harry Potter World. No super high highs or super low lows. Sincere.

Best Bits:
Lockhart - a fun character
Dueling Club
our first taste of Tom Riddle
the mystery of the Chamber of Secrets and the Heir of Slytherin
The Burrow

Bad bits:
car in the forest
too much Dobby
Lucius Malfoy's meeting with Arthur Weasley

3. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
This is the favorite of many people, and I can see why, but for me, it is only number 3. This is the first truly great Harry Potter Book and really sets the done for the depth of the series and the darker nature for the latter books. The main story is great. The side stuff like new classes and Quidditch is great too. Unfortunately, it takes a while to get the story started, and after the seeming climax, you have to do it all over again with the Time-Turner thing.

Best Bits:
The mystery - at the root of all the best HP stories for me are questions and mysteries. Books 5 and 7 have little to no mystery and are thus rated rather poorly. Prisoner of Azkaban probably had the best outcome to the mystery in the series.
Harry not being infallible
Quidditch
Marauders Map
Lupin/Snape/Black interchanges

Worst Bits:
beginning
Knight Bus
Time Turner
A bit too much Trelawney

2. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
To me, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is a great combination of what worked in books 3 and 5. You have events going on which may not contribute hugely to the main story, but are still entertaining. You have a cool mystery story. You have Hogwarts as a major player. But with all of these, there is an impending scene of doom, an anticipation that something big is going to happen, and in the end, it does.

Best bits:
Hogwarts and classes at the center again
giving depth to Voldemort, I loved the Gaunt chapter
The potions book
The Cave - maybe the best chapter in the series
Dumbledore's Death - some people don't like that Harry was frozen, but you as the reader really share his sense of helplessness
The scene where Percy came home but only because of work and not to see his family was pretty intense
Also the scene on the train where Malfoy actually defeats Harry was pretty cool too, one of my favorites

Bad Bits:
Aragog and sad Hagrid
Ron and Lavender
lack of big action until the end that it

1. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Much like Half-Blood Prince, Goblet of Fire has all the elements that make Harry Potter great - the mystery - who put Harry's name in the Goblet and why, great side stories and action, further exploration of the Harry Potter World, a crazy entertaining ending, the feeling of impending disaster, and in this one, the main backdrop story is the awesome Triwizard Tournament! I am a sucker for competition, so Goblet of Fire is obviously number 1. But like I said, it wasn't just the tasks and the tournament. You have the Quidditch World Cup, the new Wizarding Schools, the Yule Ball, Mad-Eye Moody, and the rest of the series is really set into motion from this one. Despite the length, this one is never forced (ok, maybe the house elf thing). Even character like Moaning Myrtle, meant to be annoying, and Trelawney and Hagrid are used to their best ability.

Best Bits:
Quidditch World Cup - This is the best exposition of the entire Wizarding World in the series. We learn there is so much more to it than Hogwarts
The other schools
Tasks - dragons, mermaids, sphinxes, skrewts
The unexpected task - asking a girl to the dance, tough
The Yule Ball - very real, unglamorized
Dropping the Egg- this might be my favorite sequence in the entire series - Harry gets stuck in on of the trap stairs, drops the egg, Peeves and Filch and Snape and Moody come while Harry is helpless under the invisible cloak. The drama and suspense here at its highest. How was Harry going to get out of this one? I remember my heart racing at this one, probably more than even at the end of this book or Half-Blood Prince
The ending - Death Eaters, Priori Incantatem, and the explanation of it all. The ending was great. I could not stop reading, but unlike the ends of Half-Blood Prince, Prisoner of Azkaban, and Order of the Phoenix, which are all awesome scenes, here you are not reading just to see what happens. You truly want to soak in every detail.

Bad Bits:
house elves- drunk Winky
Ron being mad at Harry
Rita Skeeter.

Well there you have it.