English Premier League Fantasy Recap Part II

Check the post below for part I.

Now is the time where I get to praise and rib people for their picks. I'm pretty good at the ribbing part.

Good picks:
Martin Skrtel - 6th Round - A nice pick up here in the 6th. He is one of the most consistent defenders in the league and always gets the start for Liverpool.
Gabbi Agbonlahor - 8th Round - Not a top level striker, but this guy was a probably a 3rd round striker just a couple years ago, should continue to work well with Bent.
Dimitar Berbatov - 7th Round - Last years joint leading scorer in the 7th round. I don't expect another 20 goal season, but good value this late.
Seamus Coleman - 7th - Coleman would be a top class defender if not for his injury, still good value in the 7th round for an Everton that will start slow anyways.
Carlos Tevez - 8th - Similar to Berbatov, but much more uncertainty about his future. Still high reward pick for the 8th round even if he only stays until January
Mark Schwarzer - 10th - Last quality 'keeper on the board. A steal considering Given went in the 7th and Howard in the 4th.
Roman Pavlyuchenko - 10th - Tottenham's best striker right now, strong end to last season, finally in good graces at Spurs.
Stephane Sessegnon - 12th - Strong attacking midfield option at Sunderland
Ramires - 12th - Seems to be settling in the starting XI at Chelsea, especially with Essien injured.
Leon Osman - 13th - Great run at the end of last season, should get lots of starts as Everton are lacking wingers.
Alan Hutton - 13th - Should be the starter at right back for Spurs
Romelu Lukaku - 16th - Not sure how much PT he'll get, but a good shot with your final pick

Not so Clever Picks:
Malouda 1st Round, Kalou 4th Round - Good players, but drafted too high especially on a Chelsea team with loads of attacking options.
Bobby Zamora - 4th - He'll get lots of games, but too high at the 4th round
Scott Sinclair - 5th - This pick got a number of laughs, but no, it wasn't a joke. Maybe he thought it was the 15th round.
Alex - 5th Round - Didn't you learn from taking Alex too high before Junkie? He is not first choice at Chelsea and has been heavily linked to a move to Italy.
Gareth Barry - 9th - Gareth Barry used to be good. Then he moved to Man City.
Phil Neville - 15th - Listed as a midfielder, not a defender. Ouch.
Morten Gamst Pedersen - 8th - A bit high at the 8th round.
Grant Holt - 9th - Obviously early for a Norwich striker. Mort, did you know he is fat? Here are some of his facebook groups - "Grant Holt is a Fat Prick", "Get off the ground you fat cunt! Nan please, that's Grant Holt", "Grant Holt is a diving scum". Despite what it appears, I have nothing against Grant Holt. I hope he does well.


Teams
Carlo - 1. Rooney 2. Vidic 3. Cech
A strong start for Carlo. His first half of the draft was great, but then he started picking a slew of defensive midfielders - Gareth Barry, Lucas, Alex Song, Whitehead - spelling fantasy disaster.
Prediction - Strong foundation and good picks with Coleman and Taarabt in the 7th and 8th, but the second half of the draft will see Carlo languish in the mid table.

Andy - "TheWengerBoysAreComing" - 1. Van Persie 2. Baines 3. Yaya
Took Samba (4th) and Henderson (6th) too early. With defenders from Everton, Wigan, Newcastle, and Fulham, I'm not sure if his defense will be strong enough. Lots will depend on Van Persie's health.
Prediction - Should be a marked improvement from last year, but won't challenge for the top spots.

BJ - "There's something about Gabi's smelly cunt" - 1. Bent 2. Walcott 3. Dempsey
BJ sticks to his morals and does not select players from Chelsea, Man U, Man City, Liverpool, or Tottenham. Despite this hindrance, he finished second in the league last year. He got Dempsey and T. Cahill 3rd and 4th and Gibbs and Koscielny 6th and 7th.
Prediction - Despite his limitations, BJ should again challenge for the league. A lot will depend on Arsenal's defense, and how well Villa and Fulham perform this season.

Serg - 1. Malouda 2. A. Cole 3. Gyan
Serg left after round 10 of the draft. His team got better once he left.
Prediction - Relegation

Rory - "My dad wasn't really elected" - 1. Lampard 2. Chichirito 3. Gervinho
Rory had our first ever proxy drafting for him. He had a pretty detailed list, but I think his absence from the draft will hurt him early on.
Prediction - Overall his team is good, but not flashy - mid table

Junkie - " The fantasy team formerly Jobless for Life, formerly Down for Brown" 1. Drogba 2. Nasri 3. Evra
Good start to the draft for Junkie, then a quick decline - Alex, Chamakh, Riise, Gallas, David Dunn. He has a solid midfield, with the potential for more depending how Nasri settles in.
Prediction: Relegation battle

Jerry - 1. Suarez 2. Bale 3. Reina
Good draft for Jerry, but a lot will depend on who gets playing time. Jerry pick a lot of players who are not guaranteed starters - Lescott, Adam Johnson, Phil Jones, Tevez, K. Toure, Fabio, SWP
Prediction - Should challenge for a European spot, but not the title

Bryan - "Pippa Middleton XI" - 1. Van der Vaart, Kuyt, N'Zogbia
I don't see any of Pippa's first three picks performing as well as last season. Bryan does have a strong but not flashy squad, though, with stalwarts like Kenwyne Jones, Kevin Davies, Shay Given, Jamie Carragher and a couple nice later picks like Osman, Moses, and Enrique
Prediction - I see Bryan putting together a side that will see him achieve his best position ever. But that isn't really saying much.

Dustin - "I hate Eric Ellsworth for ruining our fantasy draft by running his restaurant into the ground and forcing us into Raubert's super sweaty living room Wanderers" (FC) - 1. Silva 2. Terry 3. Gerrard
Dustin is strong at all positions, with the exception of striker. Good value picks with Smalling and Brunt 8 and 9.
Prediction: Dustin is a proven EPL fantasy manager and should challenge for the title

Worth - "It takes a Man to Raise a Man" FC - 1. Carroll 2. A. Young 3. Modric
A very solid start for Worth, getting Dzeko in the 4th and Valencia in the 5th. He has a good squad. Some questions with Zabaleta, Richards, and Anelka and basically threw away his last 2 picks.
Prediction - Worth's best ever finish was 2nd two seasons ago. Can he best that? I don't think so, but he should finish near the top

Mort - 1. Aguero 2. Sniejder 3. Vermaelen
Some questionable picks by Mort as I mentioned earlier, but some nice ones too - Dawson, Adam, and Distin 6th-8th rounds. I see a very inconsistent season for the newcomer.
Prediction - It will be a rough first time out. Look for some good weeks and bad weeks. I see a low midtable finish - but not last place.

Raubert - "Cos's Cavernous Condoms" - 1. Nani 2. Hart 3. Ivanovic
Very strong D for Raubert. his mid is a bit lacking other than Nani. His strikers should be just good enough to allow him to challenge for a finish in the money.
Prediction - Near the top of the table

Tony - "Gia's Afterbirth Sack-lunch" - 1. Torres 2. Arshavin 3. Kompany
Prediction - I'm not as confident as last year. A repeat will be tough, but I should still finish in the top 3. I know fantasy soccer.

There you go kids. Feel to add to the fodder in the comments section below.

English Premiership Fantasy Draft Review 2011

Time for another English Premier League fantasy draft. As you EPL fans know, there are no good fantasy English leagues out there. They are all salary cap based as opposed draft based which we like here in America. Also, they have stupid scoring systems where you get points for starts, substitutions, shots and a different number of points for goals depending on what position you play. It doesn't take an expert to know that in soccer, all goals count for the same number of points.
To rectify this situation, my friends and I created our own draft league. We keep it simple - points for goals, assists, team of the week, negative points for own goals, goals against, and red cards. Each team drafts 16 players and starts a 4-4-2 every week with a captain having their points doubled. The draft totally changes strategy. Only one team gets Wayne Rooney, Frank Lampard and the like. There are a finite number of strong defenders and scoring midfielders. Do you go with offense or defense first? You also have all the transfer uncertainty before the season. Big decisions.

Let's take a look at this years EPL Fantasy Draft.

Round 1
1. Wayne Rooney - Striker - Manchester United - This was the right pick. I took Rooney first last year. He is the most reliable, most consistent player. He may not lead the league in goals, but he will get his points. There is no such certainty with any other player.
2. Robin Van Persie - Striker - Arsenal - Van Persie tore it up at the end of last season. He is a top striker, but can he stay healthy?
3. Fernando Torres - Striker - Chelsea - A bit of a risk here. Torres has not had a good year. He has shown the pedigree in the EPL and seemingly should turn things around at Chelsea.
4. Darren Bent - Striker - Aston Villa - This pick might be a bit of a surprise this soon, but if you look at the stats over the past few years, Bent is a top 3 Premier League striker. Also, due to moral reasons, the manager picking here does not take players from Chelsea, Tottenham, Liverpool, Man United, or Man City.
5. Florent Malouda - Midfielder - Chelsea - The first midfielder taken. I would not have expected Malouda to be the first taken. Malouda does get his points, but really tailed off during the second half of last season. I question this pick.
6. Frank Lampard - M - Chelsea - Lampard has been one of the best fantasy players over the course of the league. He didn't do as well last year. There is a lot of clamoring about him getting old, but if you look at the games he played, he put up high points.
7. Didiger Drogba - S - Chelsea - Drogba is another player who used to be a certain top 3 pick, but has a few question marks due to injuries and age.
8. Luiz Suarez - S - Liverpool - Interesting choice between Carroll and Suarez. Either could have a break out year or a disappointing year.
9. Rafael Van der Vaart - M - Tottenham - Van der Vaart was a revelation last year, full of goals and assists. He fell off a bit at the end of the year. Can he repeat?
10. David Silva - M - Man City - I like this pick. Silva came on strong last season and is the play maker on a talented city side. He'll have loads of assists and a few goals to match.
11. Andy Carroll - S - Liverpool - See pick #8
12. Sergio Aguero - S - Man City - New players to the EPL are always a risk, but I like this pick. Plug in Aguero for Tevez do you have 20 goals again? We shall see.
13. Nani - M - Man U - Nani I think was the second leading midfield scorer last season. He gets assists and goals. His benching by Sir Alex in the Champions League final does raise some questions.

Round 2
14. Joe Hart - Goalkeeper - Man City - With no Van der Sar and the lack of a true number 1 at Arsenal, 'keepers are at a premium. I think this is a bit early, but you can't really question it.
15. Wesley Sneijder - M - Inter - Wow. Earliest pick for a non-premier league player ever. Lots of rumors, but a HUGE risk this early in the draft. Wow.
16. Ashley Young - M - Man U - A perennial early round pick with Aston Villa. Now at Man U. That raises his value in my book. Nice pick.
17. John Terry - Defender - Chelsea - Terry is the only player to make the fantasy league team of the year all 4 years of the league. First defender taken and rightfully so.
18. Dirk Kuyt - M - Liverpool - Always under rated at midfielder. Kuyt will play as an attacking midfielder every game. Good pick.
19. Gareth Bale - M - Tottenham - Bale is a good player, but maybe not a top 20 fantasy player. He needs some consistency to become that. Maybe this will be another break-out season, with the stats to match the hype.
20. Samir Nasri - M - Arsenal - Time will tell on this one. If he stays and Fabregas goes, great value at 20, but if he goes to City, where does he fit in?
21. Chicirito - S - Man U - A bit early at 21. I'm not sure if he can match his success of the previous year.
22. Ashley Cole - D - Chelsea - Good pick - a certain starting defender for a top team and he gets forward.
23. Theo Walcott - M - Arsenal - With Walcott you can count on a few great games, frequent poor crosses, loads of speed, and a couple injuries each year.
24. Andrei Arshavin - M - Arsenal - See 23 but with less speed and less injuries
25. Leighton Baines - D - Everton - Baines gets forward, takes great free kicks, will get loads of assists and a few goals. But how many clean sheets can he get with Everton?
26. Nemanja Vidic - D - Man United - A rock in the Man U defense. He is a sure starter and throws in some set piece headers as well. Strong pick as the final one of the second round.

Ok, I'm only giving you the first two rounds. I can't have this blog be too epic. Now I'll take a look at my picks, followed by selected good and bad picks and a brief rating of each team.

My picks:
Round 1: Torres
Round 2: Arshavin
Round 3: Vincent Kompany - D - Man City - Like I mentioned earlier, there are only a handful of defenders you can pencil in every week for the Big 5 (Man City joins as well). I would put this list as Cech, Ivanovic, Cole, Terry, Luiz, De Gea, Evra, Vidic, Reina, Skrtel, Johnson, Hart, and Kompany. This is a short list. These players should be at a premium. Last year, Man City and Chelsea were tied with the lowest goals against. And Kompany is the only sure starter on D for Man City. That's why I took him so early.
4. David Luiz - D - Chelsea - Very happy to get Luiz here. He was number 16 0n my big board and I got him with pick 50. Nice.
5. Mario Balotelli - S - Man City - Head case. High Risk, hopefully high reward.
6. Brad Friedel - GK - Tottenham - Maybe a bit early, but I needed a goalie, and it was him or Given.
7. Mikel Arteta - M - Everton - Good value at round 7 barring any more injury issues.
8. Rafael - D - Man U - If Rafael gets the majority of starts at right back, I'm feeling very good about my team.
9. Marouane Fellaini - M - Everton - Ready for a bounce-back year. Good value in round 9.
10. David "Junior" Hoilett - M - Blackburn - This was my sleeper pick. I probably took him a round or two early, but I did not want to lose him. He is listed as a mid and should start a lot of games as a striker. Break-out year baby.
11. Louis Saha - S - Everton - Getting a starting striker for a top 7 team in the 11th round is great. Injury issues, though.
12. Ryan Shawcross - D - Stoke
13. Youssouf Mulumbu - M - West Bromwich Albion- Good back-up midfielder, another break-out candidate.
14. Ryan Giggs - M - Man U - The old man still has it. But how do you know when he will start?
15. John O'Shea - D - Sunderland
16. Steven Taylor - D - Newcastle - If you can't get a top defender, differentiation in the back is key. This way, goals against are usually balanced out by clean sheets.

There we go, a strong team. A championship team? I am not as confident as last season, but I feel pretty good looking after looking at other teams. Things that will tell the tale are Rafael's starts and if Torres or Balotelli can find consistent form.
Stay tuned for more to come!

Everton in DC

As I said for the US/Jamaica game, there are some perks due to living in DC. Ok, this perk -Everton vs. DC United - might not be too big of a perk for some people, but it does the job for me. I was pretty psyched when I found Everton was coming to my city. Here is a quick little review of their time here.

Practice - Everton had an open practice Friday morning, and of course, I went. It was 100 degrees and sunny, a bit different than Liverpool. There were only about 100 fans and it was kinda weird. Probably the weather, but most people were pretty subdued. I give a nice "Alright Timmy" as Tim Cahill came out and he sent over a brief salute, maybe more of a wave, or at least some sort of acknowledgment.
The practice was nothing too crazy. Warm-ups, one offense drill with a couple variations and a small sided game. Beckford was probably most impressive, but a small sided scrimmage is where he would thrive. Distin and a few others had trouble with the heat. Props go to Leighton Baines. If you didn't know any better you'd think he was a young kid trying to make an impression on the coaches. He went through every drill at full speed while a lot of the more veteran players took water and stretch breaks and did other stuff. He did not slow down despite the heat.
Oh, and Arteta came out in a walking boot and crutches, not looking good.
The best part about the practice was that all the players and Moyes came over to the fans and signed autographs and took pictures. It was definitely a great way to show thanks for all fans that braved the heat. I know the last thing you want to do after a hot practice is go talk to people you don't know. Much appreciated. Now I'm too mature for that fanboy autograph shit, but I did get some nice pictures. Check them out below with a few player observations.

Game - The game was fun. The upper bowl at RFK was not open. I'd say about 12,000 fans, but that might be generous. Both teams mixed their squads with reserves and starters. Everton scoring twice in the first 15 minutes really made things easy for Everton, but also lacking drama. Everton weren't great, but totally moved the ball better than DC. They had a lot of chances, but DC had some good outside shots too, but it's really hard to glean the big picture from this game. Instead, let's look at a few individual players performances.

Ross Barkley - I didn't know who this guy was at the practice. He is big, like Rodwell, not as strong yet, but tall, more like a defender than midfielder. He got the start on Saturday and looked good - not great, but good. Like most young guys, he worked hard and was trying to do all he could. Best part, only 17 years old. We got to keep this young Liverpool born talent.

Apostolos Vellios - This 19 year old Greek striker might be my new favorite player, mostly because the great picture above, but also due to his strong potential. He was the first player I got a picture with and seemed a nice humble guy, happy to be there. He too got the start Saturday and looked good. He seems to be the strong target man the Everton are lacking. He showed for the ball a lot, showed good control and touches and game IQ. I'd love to see him up top with Saha or Beckford. But will Moyes do that?

Victor Anichebe - Man, this guy is a BEAST in person. Ridiculously strong, maybe too strong for soccer. He scored a nice goal, but still has a few injuries. Pre-season will be big for him. Oh, and he much better at looking at the camera than me.

Conor McAleny - This was another guy I did not know before the weekend. He was probably the most eye-catching at the practice. He worked his ass off and was very crisp. Some are comparing him to Michael Owen. We'll see. Again, though very young and full of promise.

Tim Cahill - Timmy likes the heat. Oh yeah, Timmy's ready! Timmy's got some new moves. He's an Aussie. Tim played much deeper than he usually does, but he said the summer is all about fitness.

Magaye Gueye - Magaye was my new favorite player coming into the weekend, but that spot might be usurped by Vellios due to the pic. Magaye will soon be a stud, though. He has pace and skill. He can play as a second striker, on the left wing or the right wing, all spots we will need people this year. The heat looked a bit much for him, but he did get his 3rd goal in 3 games this summer, which is a huge positive. On the goal in the game, what was most impressive was his great pass to set up Beckford. Excited for more!

Sylvain Distin - A mountain of a man. He was not a fan of the heat, but a beast on the field against DC. Distin!

Jermaine Beckford - Strong in practice, but only got about 20 minutes in the game. I am not sold on this guy. At least twice he took a shot from outside the box when he had open players on his flanks. A nice setup for Magaye, though He is going to have to show better decision making if he is going to become a starter under Moyes.


There you go, just the mostly meaningless preseason, I hope Everton had as good a time in DC as I did. Let's hope it actually contributes to a strong start this season! C'mon you Boys!

My Favorite Literary Characters

A post about my favorite literary characters? Why not? A bit pretentious perhaps, but I'm by no means saying I'm a literature expert. I have though gotten myself through a good number of books.

A few notes:
- I have not included comic book characters, though I do consider comic books literature. They would dominate the list. Look for a favorite comic book character list in the upcoming weeks. Epic.
- Obviously, characters are only from books I read. I will try not to be influenced by movie versions of books, but sometimes it is hard to separate the two.
- This a truly a list of my favorites, not necessary the "best" literature characters. You will see that I tend to move away from the lead protagonist and move more toward upper supporting characters.
- There will be a large honorable mention. I don't think it is a good idea to have too many favorites of anything.

Honorable Mention:
Dr. Larch - The Cider House Rules - Hard to put an abortionist on the list, but he is a quality character, a quality contrast of character, Very close to making the real list.
Germanicus - I, Claudius
Adah - The Poisonwood Bible - By far the best narrator of the bunch
Nick Carraway - The Great Gatsby - I kind of feel like this everyman quality draws in the reader. You could see yourself as him being introduced to this opulent culture and wanting to be part of it.
D-503 - We - The first dystopian novel. Check it out.
Grand Admiral Thrawn - Star Wars Novels (Thrawn Trilogy) - makes you almost root for the Empire. Super dorky to read, but super enjoyable.
Talon Karrade - Star Wars Novels (Thrawn Trilogy) - another Star Wars character created by Timothy Zahn. Complex character.
Sam Spade - The Maltese Falcon
Jack Burden - All the King's Men - similar to Nick Carraway
Chief - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Randle Patrick McMurphy - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - Very Close to making the real list.
Luna Lovegood - Harry Potter

Now on to the real list, BIG DUNC'S FAVORITE LITERATURE CHARACTERS:

Regulus Black -Harry Potter Books- Ok, so I won't be ranking this list, but it is a top 5, and RAB is 5th, and could easily drop down into honorable mention if someone better catches my fancy. The other 4 will always be on my list, no doubt.
That being said, awesome character. Super unique in depiction. He never appeared in the entire Harry Potter series, not even in flashbacks. He was only talked about my other characters. It is wild how intriguing this made him, how this made you focus on all the small mentions of him. This is a great story too, a story of redemption, a story of realizing you are on the wrong side and trying to change that. Nicely done RAB and JKR.

Atticus Finch - To Kill a Mockingbird


You can already see my two favorite character types by these picks. The first, RAB and even moreso the third person on the list, is about the journey - a change in outlook, person, relationships, and well, character. The second seen by Atticus Finch is the person who does not change, the person who sticks to their beliefs, their morals, their core no matter what. In fact they stay true even when it would be easier and sometimes beneficial to change or bend or falter a little. But these men will not break, will not back down, will not change for anybody. Their core is true and unchanging.
Atticus Finch is a perfect example of this, pretty much everything that is good about America, humanity, and literature. I do not hesitate to use the picture of of Gregory Peck as Atticus. Gregory Peck is Atticus Finch. Perfect casting, perfect depiction.

Larry Underwood - The Stand -
Yes, the perfect example of the inward journey. King matches it for Underwood with a real physical trek as well, with bridges and tunnels and wrong turns and roadblocks, but in the end, the destination is reached.
I love every step of Larry's journey - from California to the time with his mother to Central Park to the Lincoln Tunnel to his time with Nadine to his time in Boulder to Vegas leading the way. He just seems so real even in the face of the incredible crisis. He reacts like a human. The circumstances change him. He sometimes fights those changes. He sometimes thinks those changes are fictional. He questions his growth, his choices, his place in this whole, epic mess.
In the end, I'm glad to have shared the journey with Larry.

Major Scobie - The Heart of the MatterThis is the same cover to the book that I read, except mine didn't have that stupid quote.
Scobie is somewhere in-between the character types that I mentioned. He is definitely true to his ways, no matter how wrong they might be. There is definitely a journey, an inward journey.
Scobie is the best example I can think of of the flesh vs spirit conflict. That is in a sense the same battle that Larry and Regulus faced, but it is oh so exemplified here. Which one wins? Both? Neither? Selfless to a fault, but still everyone loses. Interesting.

Fingolfin - The Silmarillion

If I ever get a pet it will undoubtedly be named Fingolfin.
Honor. Valor. Bravery. Courage. These words and their ilk perfectly describe Fingolfin, the only Tolkein character on the list surprisingly. The Silmarillion is much different than LOTR. I like it better in fact. You get a lot of characters, a lot of history, and a lot of mythology. The story is complex, but to summarize, Fingolfin stands by his brother after he does something pretty, pretty horrible. His brother then turns his back on Fingolfin, leaves him for dead, but Fingolfin leads his people through some super harsh Middle Earth conditions. Things continue to be pretty shitty for them because of Morgoth, who is like Sauron times 10. Morgoth = Batman. Sauron = Robin. There are attempted battles, but nothing good happens. Fingolfin finally has enough and goes to take on Morgoth single handedly! It's David and Goliath, but Fingolfin is no David. The is one of the most powerful Elves ever. He was so angry and ferocious, onlookers thought him a god. Epic battle ensues. Epic. In the end, Fingolfin falls valiantly. Middle Earth goes to shit for some time, but eventually the valor of Fingolfin was remember and Morgoth was defeated.
Worthy of my pet's name? Yes.

There you go. Awesome literary characters. Complex, transforming, true, a pleasure to read over and over again.

The Tantalizing Frustration of the Summer Football Season

As a football (soccer) fan, the summer always holds a certain level of promise, but usually provides a much higher level of frustration. The European football off season is a unique experience. It is fueled by rumors and gossip pages and the board media. At times, it is almost as exciting as the real sport. In today's day and age, with blogs and twitter and a desire for instant information, it is probably too much. Pretty much every player out there is linked with someone else at some point in the summer. Lots of times the endless rumors of players and clubs are referred to as "transfer sagas". That is pretty apt as these things sometimes go on for months and months with endless speculation and nothing really happening.
Things are even worse being an Everton fan. You hear these rumors of players you know you are not going to get. You hear rumors linking your team to players you don't want. You most often hear rumors of your players leaving for bigger clubs. Yet you still check everyday to see who you are linked with. It's addicting. So far this summer Everton have sold 2 average players and bought no one. That is pretty normal actually.

Let's take a look at Everton's 2011 summer transfer rumors:
Mirislav Klose: The most unrealistic of the bunch, but fun to pretend
Demba Ba: Strong striker, also free - went with the higher wages offered by Newcastle
Sergio Canales (loan): Would've been interesting, but never realistic
As you can see by the three above, Everton have no money. All these players were free and we still cannot afford them. We must sell to buy, but can what we buy from our sales be better than what we have? Always the question of transfers I guess.

Jay Bothroyd: I'm not interested in him. He's not interested in us
Charles N'Zogbia: This would be a great signing, but I don't see us getting him for less than 8 million pounds
Shane Long: The Ginger has never impressed me. I don't think he's Premiership quality. No way I would pay more than 4 for him
Shaun Wright-Philips: This would be nice and make sense for player and club, but I see his wages being too high
Craig Bellamy: A quality striker, but I don't see him as an Everton man.
Nedam Onuoha: Of this list, Onuoha is the one I would most want - young, athletic, powerful, room to grow under Moyes.
Wes Brown - No thanks. We already got Phil Neville. Going to Sunderland now, though.
Danny Welbeck: I'd take him on loan or sale.

Yeah, nothing too exciting. We just don't have the money.
Out rumors:
I've heard rumors for most of our big guns - Baines, Rodwell, Fellaini, Jagielka. I would sell Rodwell and Fellaini. They just don't add anything that exceptional to the team. I would also love to see Bilyletdinov go. He just does not fit into the Everton system.

No money, our best players leaving, but don't fret Everton fans. Moyes actually does his best work with the mid-level transfers. That is what our team is based on pretty much.
Tim Cahill: £1.5 million
Mikel Arteta: £2 million
Tim Howard: £3 million
Phil Jagielka: £4m
Leighton Baines: £6 million
Jolean Lescott: £4m
Sylvain Distin: £5 million

From the data, we have to trust in Moyes' mid-level buys. He'll find a way to do something.
Unfortunately, every summer is the same. We say we will get players early, but wait until the last days of August. This contributes to our continual poor starts each season. Man.

Either way, I will continue to check the rumor mill each day. It is summer football season after all.

Gold Cup Report

I was able to attend the Gold Cup Quarterfinal matches yesterday in our nation's capital. It was a nice full day of soccer and a huge perk of living in a large metropolitan area. The games were good, not great, but the atmosphere was high quality.


RFK - This was my first time at RFK. It was, um, unimpressive. I see why the Redskins have a new stadium. It wasn't bad for soccer, though, with lots of new seats brought in closer to the field. The game was a sellout and we had some great seats, around the 40 yard line I'd say, about 30-40 rows back. The first thing I noticed was the huge amounts of El Salvador fans, and this is at 2:30, 3.5 hours before their game starts. The Salvadorians took over that stadium.

USA/Jamaica - This was my first USA soccer game. No US jerseys for any of our group and only a couple make-shift flags, but plenty of Wisconsin gear! I once saw Mexico play Ireland at Soldier Field about 10 years ago, and that was just a friendly. This time you could tell it was a big match. I mean it is only the Gold Cup - huge for Jamaica, Panama, and El Salvador and if the US loses, see you later Bob Bradley.
The US fans were pretty hype, not as numerous or as loud as the Salvadorians, but more consistent. We were right behind Sam's Army and got to stand for the entire game, which I liked. Aside from one great chance for Jamaica in the first 5 minutes, it was clear that the US was the superior team. The first goal, and the second goal for that matter, was more relief than anything. Lots of good chances in the first half and lots of great saves by the Jamaican 'keeper.
I was saying before the game that this was going to be Jozy's re-coming out party, but he only is able to last 10 minutes before coming out injured. Lots of good possession by the US, and an eventual 2-0 victory. The red card helped, and in person, it seemed like an obvious sending off, but I guess on the replay, not so much. It was also the only time I jumped onto the back of the seat in front of me.

All and all, this is the most optimistic I can remember being for the future of US soccer. It was not just Dempsey, Donovan, and Howard. This was by far the best performances in a US jersey I have seen from Jones, Lichaj, Bedoya, and Kljestan. Some of those do not really have a large testing sample, but they showed the can be counted on when needed. And Juan Agudelo, only 18 and soon to be ready for the big time. The US will continue to find players. Great support from the fans.

El Salvador/Panama - One might think that the best part of the day was over, but that would be incorrect. Most US fans must have thought this, as they left immediately after the game. Those that stayed steadily trickled out as the second game went on. I already mentioned the El Salvador fans. The upper deck was a sea of blue. Pretty much all of their fans have some sort of El Salvador jersey. For the first game, the stadium was probably about 40% USA fans 60% El Salvador fans. Even during the US game, their fans were loud and pro-USA. This is America you know! For the second game, it was probably 90% El Salvador and 10% other. I guess the El Salvador fans were just waiting at the entrances for other fans to leave. Good stuff. I really can't impart to you how loud the fans were. The national anthem and players coming onto the field were really something cool to be a part of. They people were into the game too, even if the product on the field wasn't so great. They loved every half trick, every tackle, and every shot. ES was awarded a penalty about half through the first half. The place was ready to explode, but the shot was saved.

Things got more and more testy on the field and in the stands as the game went on. The crowd was affecting the ref so El Salvador was getting some favorable calls. Fans were getting more and more agitated. Oh, and I forgot to mention that Panama was the better team - stronger, bigger, faster, and more organized. Then with about 10 minutes left, El Salvador got another PK. This time it was converted. The crowd went bonkers. The stadium shook. Beer and water flying through the air. I'm pretty sure this is the loudest I have ever heard a soccer stadium. People were rejoicing. A fan in front of us literally broke his seat off whilst celebrating. Our small group was pulled into the euphoria. But alas, as often happens in football, it did not last. Panama scored a controversial goal in the 90th minute. We were not sure in the stand what happened, but I guess it went in. The crowd did not like this. It really turned into Central America - lots of bottles and other things thrown on the field, a fan running on the pitch, more bottles thrown at the refs, two players sent off. Good stuff all and all. Probably for the best that they stopped serving beer right after kickoff. I don't know if I've ever seen such disappointment at a sporting event. It's like they just knew it was over. The fans either got more sad or more angry as overtime went on. Lots of them kept looking at us as US fans for approval I guess. It was interesting.
El Salvador had one good chance in the final minute of overtime, but to no avail. It was on to PKs. The Panama goalie saved the first one and Panama did not miss. Game over. Lots of angry/sad Salvadorians. This was a BIG game for both teams and obviously meant a lot more to their fans than the average US fan.
Oh, and I can't be from Wisconsin without mentioning the efficient public transit system that we were able to use after the game. Crowded, but easy.
A very fine day for us!

Next Up - USA/Panama Wednesday 7pm Eastern, Mexico/Honduras 10pm Eastern, both in Houston. As long as the US plays like the did on Sunday, they should get revenge on Panama. I'm very interested in seeing what the crowd is like as both Mexico and the US are there. That should make things interesting. Until then - America! Fuck Yeah!

English Premier League Fantasy Wrap-Up

For the forth straight year, my friends and I ran a EPL English Premier League Fantasy Draft-based League. A fantasy draft in an EPL fantasy league is hard to come by, so my friends and I just do the league on our own. It provides for good fun. See the draft review here. Actually, I'm the one running the league, I do all the stats and collect weekly line-ups. This provides me with a huge advantage as I see every play who scores, every player who has a clean sheet, and every player that gets an assist. This come up big in the early parts of the season and in the middle part of the season when players get benched or injured.
Bottom line, I won the league again. Let's take a look at the league.

Defense wins championships. I put together an amazing defense, drafting Edwin Van der Sar, Joe Hart, Ashley Cole, Rio Ferdinand, Phil Jagielka, Silvain Distin, and Robert Huth. Bomb.
I would like to dedicate my championship to my midfield midseason pick-ups. I drafted Theo Walcott, and then a whole lot of nothing - Niko Kranjcar, Stephen Ireland, Shaun Wright-Philips, Steven N'Zonzi, and Mesut Ozil. Wow, pretty horrible. Throughout the course of the season, I picked up Ramires, Stuart Holden, Jordan Henderson, and lastly Thomas Hitzlesperger. Yes! Those midfielders along with my defense won me the championship.

TEAM OF THE YEAR
GK: Joe Hart 38 points (Jerry/Tony)
D: John Terry 62 points (Serg)
D: Ashley Cole 61 points (Tony)
D: Branislav Ivanovic 55 points (Carlo)
D: Vidic 51 points (Junkie)
M: Rafael van der Vaart 119 points (Raubert)
M: Ashley Young 74 points (Serg)
M: Nani 64 points (Dustin/Jerry)
M: Arshavin 58 points (Rory)
S: Carlos Tevez 166 points (Jerry/Dustin) PLAYER OF THE YEAR
S: Didier Drogba 127 points (Dustin/Jerry)
Manager: Carlo Ancelotti 15 points (Bryan)

Bench: Cech (Bryan), Zabaleta (Serg), Baines (Jerry/Worth), Fabregas (BJ), Kuyt (Dustin), Rooney (Tony), Robin Van Persie (Carlo/BJ)

Team-by-Team

BJ - Again, not picking players from Man U, Liverpool, Tottenham, Chelsea, and now Man City, yet somehow still challenging for the top spot until the last week, an impressive managerial display. Van Persie's hot streak helped him move up the table, along with Charles N'Zogbia and Asamoah Gyan pick-ups. Led the league in transfers - having everyone from Joey Barton to Landon Donovan to Steed Malbranque at one point.

Dustin - Last year's champ ended up third. Did his mid-season trade of Carlos Tevez for Didier Drogba cost him the league? I don't think so, but it would've put him much closer. Strong attacking lineup with Bent and Kuyt as well, but lack of a true scoring defender hurt him.

Raubert - Raubert, the league's inaugural winner 2008, came on very strong in the middle and end of the season, winning the Cup Competition. His early pick-ups of Peter Odemwingie and Rafael Van der Vaart turned out to be the best ones of the year.


Jerry - Started strong with Drogba killing at the start of the season and then picked up Tevez to keep momentum going. In the end, reliance on Man City players and failure to change his lineup sent him down the standings.

Rory - Rory was another early leader, in first place until about March. His team went the way of his players Berbatov and Kevin Nolan - great starts, but no points after January pretty much.

Serg - Shows if you stick with the same lineup every week, you will get players with a lot of points - Terry, Zabaleta, Ashley Young - but that will not get you enough points to challenge for the title, especially when you count Victor Obinna, Eidur Gudjohsen, and Yuri Zhirkov among those starters.

Bryan - Lack of a premier striker hurt Bryan. Strong midfield with Osman, Cahill, Bale, and Lee, but nothing great up-top.

Worth - Torres, lots of Liverpool defenders, lots of transfers, and too many Birmingham defenders makes for a poor season to go with poor career endeavors for our favorite former restaurant owner.

Andy - Questionable managerial moves not starting Charlie Adam and dropping Charles N'Zogbia. He actually drafted a strong team, but when Jermaine Defoe is your best player, things aren't going to be too strong.

Carlo - Yeah, when Chamakh is your best player, it is a sign you aren't really doing too hot, or playing too hard.

Junkie - Worst team in the history of the league. I actually liked the start of his draft with Gerrard, Vidic, and Vermaelen, but injuries and lack of depth killed him. Started John Pantsil, Paul Scholes, and James Milner all year, ouch.

Ah, I'm sorry that just turned into me making fun of everyone else. But that is what you get Dustin for starting Bolton's Paul Robinson.

Worst Players - Pienaar (Rory), Carrick (Carlo), Barera (Carlo), Zhirkov (Serg) - all started for much of the season but did not score a single point.
Kaboul (Junkie) -2, Warnock (Andy) -3, Kyriakos (Worth) -2, Phil Bardsley (Worth) -2, Aurelio (Worth) -4, Roger Johnson (Worth) -6
And worst player of the season - Wayne Bridge (Jerry) -8. Nice.

There you go folks, another great you. If anyone new is interested in joining, or creating their own league, let me know. Historical stats after the jump.

2009-2010
527 Dustin
492 Tony
464 Worth
455 Serg
435 BJ
436 Carlo
406 Raubert
398 Nik
363 Junkie
359 Bryan
270 Jesse


2008-2009
Tony 511
Worth 471
Junkie 469
Serg 446
BJ 437
Bryan 432
Tyler 364
Joe 328
Jesse 308
Raubert 299
Dustin 299

2007-2008
Raubert: 524
Tony : 490
Jesse: 488
Junkie: 459
Dustin: 415
Nik: 409
Loeser: 381
Worth: 367
Joe: 361
James: 348
Serg: 280


Team of the Year
2009/2010
GK: Cech 43 Points (Raubert)
D- John Terry 100 points (Serg)
D - Thomas Vermaelen 60 points (BJ)
D - Ashley Cole 58 points (Serg)
D - Patrice Evra 57 Points (Dustin)
M - Frank Lampard 198 points (Dustin) PLAYER OF THE YEAR
M - Cesc Fabregas 140 points (Tony)
M - Andrei Arshavin 66 points (Bryan)
M - Steven Gerrard 65 points (Carlo)
S - Wayne Rooney 184 points (Raubert)
S - Carlos Tevez 134 points (Carlo)

Bench: Reina 39, Dunne 53, Malouda 54, Torres 129, Drogba 123



2008-09
GK -Reina 61 points (Raubert)
D - Vidic 84 points (Junkie)
D - Bosingwa 75 points (Tony)
D - Alex 63 points (Bryan)
D - Terry 53 points (Serg)
M - Gerrard 168 points (Worth) PLAYER OF THE YEAR
M - Lampard 130 points (Serg)
M - Ronaldo 129 points (Tyler)
M - Ireland 49 points (Bryan)
S - Anelka 104 points (Junkie)
S - Robinho 95 points (Tony)

2007-08
GK- Reina 51 pts (Worth)
D - Rio Ferdinand 129 points (Joe)
D - Jolean Lescott 73 points (Jesse)
D- John Terry 71 pts (Tony)
D - William Gallas 68 pts (Loeser)
M- C. Ronaldo 242 pts (Raubert) PLAYER OF THE YEAR
M - Steven Gerrard 117 pts (Worth)
M - Fabregas 116 pts (Junkie)
M- Frank Lampard 86 pts (James)
S - Torres 185 pts (Jesse)
S - Adeboyor 132 pts (Nik)

Survivor Redemption Island Review

Time for a quick review of Survivor 22: Redemption Island, The Good, The Bad, and the Redemption Island.

Good
Boston Rob- I was a fan from the start concerning the inclusion of Boston Rob and Russell in this season of Survivor. Like I said before, they would start the ball rolling episode one and allow you to enter right into the season to avoid the normal first few episodes where you don't really know anyone. And, man, Boston Rob is running this season. This has got to be the most controlling performance ever. He is making all the right moves and not even allowing the other tribe, and more importantly his tribe to make a move against him. They are not even thinking about it. Plus his actions concerning the idol he is in possession of are great too.

Don't eat the fish!

Phillip- Phillip symbolizes the reason why we still watch Survivor. People are weird. People are varied. People are entertaining. And Phillip is very entertaining. Survivor and Jeff Probst are totally pimping him out in all their promotional materials. It's a good thing he's around otherwise this season would all be Rob. Phillip is crazy, but every time you think he is totally crazy and helpless, he says something really smart about the game and you wonder if this guy is playing everyone and can actually win this thing. Then he wears a feather and you remember the faded red underwear and again think he is crazy.

Andrea- Andrea is definitely cute. She has that going for her. She is much more likable than other other remaining girls. I think she is a good player. I think she knows what Rob is up to. I think it was smart to stick with Rob and vote off Matt the second time. I do wonder what would happen if she would have went with Matt over to Zapatera. Well, she'll have to make some moves to really be a good player.

Underdog Tribe- Some of the best seasons of Survivor have the underdog tribe overcoming the odds and winning in the end. The best example of this is Cook Islands, but it can also be seen in Samoa and Tocantins where it was the result of the winning team's implosion. It gives you someone to get behind and be happy with then the tides turn.
This year is ripe for the same scenario, but alas, Rob is too strong to see this happen. At least we have players to root for.

Bad

Domination - Yes, this is the reverse of the underdog tribe. Rob and Ometepi are dominating. He has everyone his wing, in his back pocket, under this control. It was entertaining when Matt came back, but since them it's been a bore. Rob's voting of Matt and Ralph simultaneously using the idol was beyond ideal for Rob. That's what set up this potential bore fest for the next few weeks.

Rob's Girls - I hate players that don't do anything yet stay in the game, and not only that, but act like they are the shit and treat everyone else poorly like it's their God given place to be where they are. Ashley and Natalie fall under the don't do anything category, but aren't as bad as Candice and Danielle from Heroes vs. Villains, Crystal from Gabon, Alexis from Fans, and Courtney from China. They just don't deserve to be there and add nothing to the game.

Russell's Exit - The voting off of Russell was cool, but somehow the Redemption Island part made it anti - climatic. First, there was no finalization with the vote, and second, the Redemption Island challenges are weird. There just isn't the same intensity as immunity challenges. Something about the setup and the placement in the show. The voting off of Russell should have been a monumental moment, but in the end it was just him crying into his stupid hat.

Good and Bad
Grant - I like Grant, but it is sad to see him so used by Rob. Case in point when they found the idol clues. Grant is jumping up and down and literally shaking from excitement, but little does he know Rob already has the idol. You can see this again when he won immunity. He's excited because he won it for the team, but he really just won it for Rob. Rob knows he will have to vote him off at some point.

Redemption Island - The Redemption Island portion of the show has been disappointing thus far. It makes Tribal Council less important. The challenges themselves haven't been too great. And Matt has won them all.

This week has the potential of changing that. 3 people. What will happen? It would be an awesome F You to Rob if all three came back. It would be cool if two came back, but then we'd be in the same predicament as last week. But, for the first time, I am excited for Redemption Island. Should be fun.

ACL Review - She's Out of My League

As I'm no longer under the influence of drugs, I think it's time for my final ACL Review. See The Proposal and Hot Tub Time Machine for under the influence reviews.
My last ACL review will finally be a positive one. Friday night after the Brewers game, I watched She's Out of My League. I have to say the movie was great. It starred Jay Baruchel as an Average Joe who starts dating a superhot, super cool girl (Alice Eve). Yeah, it's a pretty unoriginal premise, but it works. We love it because we envision ourselves as the main character Kirk. That is pretty much the basics of it. We see it in a move and we think it can happen in our lives. Well, at least I do.
Aside from my perpetual daydreaming, it was a pretty funny, likable movie. Jay Baruchel is fast becoming one of my favorite actors. You may remember him as the main character in the short lived Judd Apatow show Accepted or as one of the friends in Knocked Up. He just comes off in a likable, very realistic way. I would hang out with this guy. He seems like he would hang out with me. I even considered adding the Sorcerer's Apprentice to my queue after watching this one.
The movie was similar to 40 Year Old Virgin and Role Models and all those movies, but aside from Baruchel, had an entirely different cast. Kirk's group of friends was kind of lacking at first. You often times compared them to the group of friends in Knocked Up. It's hard to compete with Jason Segel, Martin Starr, Jonah Hill, and Jay Baruchel. But they really grew on me throughout the movie. Each one of his three friends brought something different. There was a Napoleon Dynamite-esque one, a fat sincere one, and a young blond John Stamos. Lots of shit-shooting and ribbing, but deep down support and caring.
Kirk's family was very out there, quite ridiculous, but very funny and added to the elements of why you root for Kirk.
The plot was pretty formulaic, same as any movie in this genre or any contemporary romantic comedy for that matter - they grow together despite the circumstances, then they get in a fight, then they get back together. No spoiler alert here. You know this is going to happen. Maybe it is because of the super unrealistic person I am, but it all made sense. It felt real and not impossible.
Yeah, so this movie is funny. Guys, definitely check it out, girls, might not like it as much. One thing that might lead you to want to watch it even more - Hall and Oates cover band. Yep, this movie has one. Love it!

ACL Review - Kraven's Last Hunt

My preparation for my ACL surgery consisted of buying lots of easy to prepare food, setting up Netflix, setting up a bed on the first floor, and buying $100 worth of comics. I thought before hand that comics would be much better to read during recovery than real books. I was kind of right, but TV and movies is much easier than any kind of reading. This is America, right. On my list was Batman: The Long Halloween, The Sinestro Corps War, a bunch of Uncanny X-Men from 150s-190s, Warlocks containing the Magus Saga, and Kraven's Last Hunt, a great Spider-Man story.

Now I'm not a huge Spider-Man fan, but I heard a few things about Kraven's Last Hunt. It's kind of on the late 2nd tier of the best comic book stories ever. I started reading it and I really didn't get into it too quickly. It wasn't too engrossing. Now, though, I am glad I stuck it out and finished it. It was like no other comic story I have ever read. I'm talking about the way it was set up. The first issue was just a straight Spider-Man vs. Kraven battle. Then the second and third were pretty slow, totally just set up for the upcoming issues. Issue 4 was a cool Spider-man introspective, a very quick read, and then the 5th issue, originally Amazing Spider-Man 294 was simply amazing, one of the best single comic book issues I have ever read. This is saying something because I have probably read about 1,500 comics in my day. This is definitely in the top 10 single issues, no doubt. Then issue 6 is good, just good, but you don't really care at that point because the 5th part was so great, the true climax. You see in the end it really wasn't a Spider-Man story, but a Kraven story. It made this background, sometimes even mocked character into a true star.
Great stuff, overall, not among the best stories ever, but the fifth part, yes, amazing.

ACL Reviews Again

127 Hours - This was one of my DVD queue films. I was worried that it would drag on at points, but the acting of James Franco and the way it was put together by Danny Boyle really made it flow well. I really liked this one, but it is obviously not the type of movie you would want to watch multiple times.

G.I. Joe - This is not how I remember my great toys of youth. This movie was bad, really bad. The action was plentiful and laughable. Apparently Jamie Foxx wasn;t available to play Ripcord, so the part went to Marlon Wayans. Mr. Eko, you left Lost for this? Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Christopher Eccleston as the villains? The whole Sienna Miller as Ana/Baroness just didn't make sense. What has happened to your career Dennis Quaid? Lots of questions for this one. I am certain the 80s cartoons were better. This movie did, though, uncover my new Ginger of the Moment, Rachel Nichols as Scarlet. I like.

Toy Story 3 - Surprisingly serious and emotional. Fun, but not as good as the first two.

Shutter Island - This was the Scorsese/Dicaprio crime/mystery/thriller. It was pretty entertaining, good, but not great. It ended up being a wanna be Usual Suspects and, I'm not sure why, but often times reminded me of Minority Report. Great cast beyond Leo - Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley, Max Van Sydow, Michelle Williams, and camoe appearances by Patrica Clarkson and Jackie Earle Haley. Definitely worth adding to your instant queue.

Daybreakers - This the perfect instant Netflix, injury recovery movie. It's a movie that you know isn't going to be great or even very good, but it will entertain you. This one was one of the slew of vampire movies that have come out in the last few years. Pretty much being a vampire is the norm, but the earth is running out of humans to get blood from. Ethan Hawke is a vampire looking to return to humanity and meets Wilhem Dafoe, a former vampire now human and a band of humans on the run. Yeah, it doesn't make much sense, but it was good mindless entertainment.

More Than a Game - Four African American Hoop Stars - including Lebron James - test their unique bond when they prep for playoffs at their elite, largely Caucasian high school.
This was the tagline for this documentary following Lebron James at St. Vincent/St. Mary's, but it really has no socio-economic commentary. They never once mentioned the school being an elite, white school or any other facets of inner city black kids going to rich white prep schools for sports. It was pretty much just a documentary about Lebron's basketball team in high school. Cool, but coulda been much more.

More ACL Reviews

Spartacus - It took me 1 minute to realize this show sucked and another two minutes for me to realize it was utterly unwatchable. Has anyone ever enjoyed a Starz original program?

The Tudors - This one is cool, Showtimes attempt at a Renaissance drama. The one spans the life of King Henry the 8th. I'm not sure how far it goes into the reign of Elizabeth the 1st. Lots of sex. It's cool to see the behind the scenes royal court and political stuff. It goes painfully slow though. I really just want to see Henry's wives. Anne Boelyn is introduced in like the 3rd episode, but doesn't marry Henry until the 3rd season I think. I ended up watching the first 4 episodes then the last episodes of season 1 and 2. It's good, but not totally engrossing. There are probably lots of better TV shows out there to get into.

Billy Elliott - This one might be cheating as I've seen this film before, but it was still funny, fun, and entertaining. You root for this kid and his family.

Exit the Gift Shop - Cool documentary(?) about street art. The first 3/4 of this movie were real cool and gave a nice picture of street art and graffiti. The film then transforms into this weird statement on art and pop culture while focusing on the camera man turned artist. Is it mockumentary or documentary? Is it just another piece of pop art by Banksy? Interesting stuff, worth checking out.

Searching for Bobby Fisher - This movie definitely still holds up. Great story and moral. Amazing cast - Laurence Fishburn, Joe Mantegna, Ben Kingsley, Joan Allen, and cameos by Laura Linney and William H. Macy. It's one of those rare films where you find yourself rooting for every character.

ACL Review - Hot Tub Time Machine

The hits just keep on coming. I mean, I don't really have high standards, especially while on these percocets, but this is another bad movie. This one I was not surprised by. Judging by the previews and hearing reviews from people who saw it and thought it would be good but were disappointed, I knew this one wouldn't be very good.
Lots of problems:
John Cusack is not a comedy lead.
That random bald guy is not funny.
The barely even referenced the 80's. Why go back in time at all.
Oh, and the ending sucked. Doc Brown and Reed Richards would not have agreed with the outcome in this one.
Next time more hot tub, more time machine please.
I guess I should not expect much from my instant netflix movies. Shoot

ACL Review - The Proposal

Seriously, how the hell did this movie get made? This had the makings of a perfect recovery movie - it was available instantly on Netflix, it had good actors, and low expectations. But those expectations were low for a reason. Just look at the picture. You just know this movie is going to suck. Was there ever on doubt to exactly how this movie would play out? I mean, to call it formulaic would be an understatement. I like Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock, but wow, were they wasted. Some would call Betty White's performance a highlight, but here stuff on SNL was 10x better. What a waste of a talented cast. The only funny thing I can remotely remember was the character played by Oscar from the Office. At least that was unexpected.
I would rather have the lingering taste of my own vomit in my mouth than the lingering taste of The Proposal.

ACL Review - Cheese and Cheddar

So far the surprising All-Star of my ACL rehab snacking has been Keebler's Cheese and Cheddar Sandwich Crackers. You know the bright orange crackers with the fake cheese in the middle. I'm really loving them. For one, they are were easy on the stomach immediately after surgery. Also, they are not as dry or likely to stick to the mouth as the peanut butter ones and my mouth is still extra dry from the surgery. They are not greasy or too salty like other snacks would be. All and all, the surprising perfect post surgery snack.
Thanks Keebler.

ACL Review - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - This was a long one. I probably fell asleep 10 times during the movie due to my medication and the slow pace of the film. To me, it was cross between the Notebook and The Interview with the vampire. I feel the narrative structure has been used a lot before and the themes of have already been tackled in vampire movies. I do like Cate Blanchett, but the movie was pretty creepy towards the end.

ACL Review - The Social Network

So, I had ACL surgery yesterday. It wasn't too fun. If you can believe it, today kind of sucks. The pain is there, but manageable with drugs. There has been no real nausea, so it could be worse.
Anyways, I anticipate watching lots of movies and TV shows and reading comics books or other less dense reads and I thought I'd share these with my readers through this blog. You'll get a good list of my ACL activities, plus a bit more excitement with me being all drugged up. Surgery recovery is a great time to catch up on all those movies you haven't gotten around to and gives you a could excuse to watch stuff you wouldn't watch otherwise or stuff you were too embarrassed to watch previously.
Here we go.

The Social Network - This was the Golden Globe winner for best picture? Did I miss something here. Much of the movie was just dorky teenage boys acting like adolescent girls, trying to somehow get back at the people that made fun of them over the years. The viewer cannot empathize with any of the characters except maybe the friend Eduardo. The coolest part was probably the beginning with the whole match-book thing or whatever where you voted on the hotter girl. It was kind of like how Big Dunc pitted comic book characters and Lord of the Rings/Star Wars characters up against each other. It was cool seeing how quickly it spread.
Overall, this was an overrated movie. Oh, and Trent Reznor, your music wasn't that great.
It was also my first ever netflix movie. I only hope the rest are not as disappointing. I should have better stuff for you coming up1

Bracketology Part II

Today is the day the real bracket is revealed, but I thought I'd throw you another Actor Bracketology to whet your appetite.

Today's Bracket..............................Tom Cruise.

Yes. From the looks of it, this bracket is much more even. The top seeds are not as strong as was the case for Morgan Freeman and Tom Hanks. In fact, one could make an argument for seeds 1-12 of winning the entire thing. This bracket will not lack in drama. The evenness should bring a fun unpredictability.

Tom Cruise Bracketology

First Round

1. Maverick (Top Gun) vs. Bill Harford (Eyes Wide Shut)
Match: With or without Goose, Maverick shouldn't have any trouble with this one. He doesn't need to serenade any women, wisecrack at any mission briefings, or play any volleyball in this one. Bill Harford will self destruct looking for some wild orgy on the Naval base.
Winner: Maverick

8. Charlie Babbitt (Rain Man) vs. Lt. Daniel Kaffee (A Few Good Men)
Match: A classic 8/9 match-up here. It could go either way. Both characters are bit rough on the edges. You don't quite know their inner motivations until things really go wrong and their true quality shines through. Unfortunately for Charlie, he gets distracted by Rain Man who enters into the courtroom thinking Judge Wapner was in there. This is where Daniel shines, getting Charlie on the stand and bringing out "the truth" that he in fact hates the burden of caring for his brother. All public opinion crashes and the jury gives the win to Daniel.
Winner: Daniel Kaffee

5. Lestat (Interview with the Vampire) vs. 12. Frank T.J. Mackey (Magnolia)
Match: This one has the potential to get dirty. We have the vampire, already pretty homoerotic with Brad Pitt, and the "Respect the Cock" philosophy of TJ Mackey. Lestat quickly sees the insecurities through the brash exterior of Mackey and exploits his Daddy and Mommy issues. He even did his homework and brings in a large number of dogs to further fluster Mackey. Lots of blood at first, but it's all drank up at the end.
Winner: Lestat

4. John Anderton (Minority Report) vs. 13. Ray Ferrier (War of the Worlds)
Match, Cruise was outshone by Dakota Fanning in War of the Worlds. In Minority Report, Anderton had his eyes cut out. Damn.
Winner: Anderton

3. Nathan Algren (The Last Samurai) vs. David Aames (Vanilla Sky)
Match: Aames does have a quote from a Kanye West song about him and some nice female costars in Cameron Diaz and Penelope Cruz, but Algren is pretty badass. I did not want to like this movie, but ended up being pretty drawn in by Japan, Samurais, and Tom Cruise. He's good with a sword.
Winner: Algren

6. Vincent (Collateral) vs. 11. Jerry Maguire (Jerry Maguire)
Match: Not having a last name or even a real name, Vincent is a bit of a sleeper. The sidekicks of Cuba Gooding Jr. and Jamie Foxx might be a better matchup. Maguire has some good lines, but really nothing else. GSW to the 8 pound head of Jerry Maguire.
Winner: Vincent

7. Colonel Claus Van Stauffenberg (Valkyrie) vs. 10. Mitch McDeere (The Firm)
Match: Valkyrie is another movie I didn't really want to like. I think the was a huge media inundation of Cruise around this time, but the movie was tight and so was Van Stauffenberg. The Firm was cool too, but the name Mitch McDeere is just not cool enough to advance in this tourney.
Winner: Van Stauffenberg

2. Ethan Hunt (Mission Impossible I,II,III) vs. Brian Flanagan (Cocktail)
Match: Flanagan gets the nod of a number of other Cruise 80's characters due to his love interest Elizabeth Shue. The 80's were a great time for Shue. Flanagan really has no chance against Hunt and all his resources and trickery and technology. What is Flanagan going to do, throw a flaming cocktail at him?
Winner: Hunt

2nd Round
So all the hype surrounding the balanced bracket failed to produce a single upset. Will the second round do the same?

1. Maverick vs. 9. Daniel Kaffee
Match: Was Maverick deserving of the top seed? Daniel doesn't think so. He doesn't think he has much of a chance with the odds again so stacked against him, plus his father was a perennial Final Four participant. Luckily Demi Moore and Kevin Pollack come in to give Kaffee a pep talk. Kaffee shows up drunk and even tries to get into a cockpit to take Maverick down from the air. Maverick is very over confident and ends up crashing his plane before even making it to the battle.
Winner: Kaffee

4. John Anderton vs. 5. Lestat
Match: Another hot one here. Anderton begins on the case of Lestat when he learns he is going to commit a future murder. Anderton and his crew actual catch and imprison Lestat, but Lestat has been in worse situations. He bides his time, outliving the precogs, breaking out of prison and feasting on the elderly Anderton
Winner: Lestat

3. Nathan Algren vs. 6. Vincent
Match: History has showed us that guns are better than swords. This is extremely evident in The Last Samurai and will be no different in this battle.
Winner: Vincent

2. Ethan Hunt vs. 7. Van Stauffenberg
Match: Hunt is the heavy favorite in this one, but don't count out Van Stauffenberg. He almost ousted Hitler. But almost doesn't cut it. Ethan Hunt has almost died about 1,000 times, but always comes back to thwart evil in the end. The Eye-Patch will be no match for the numerous fake faces of Ethan Hunt.
Winner: Hunt

Final Four

9. Kaffee vs. 5. Lestat
Winner: Kaffee's luck and charisma have run out. Lestat without trouble.

2. Ethan Hunt vs. 6. Vincent:
Match: Ooh, this is a good one. You have an assassin vs an international spy. This one could go either way. Hunt has taken down many similar to Vincent, but never had to account for the great cab driver Jamie Foxx. Foxx gets Vincent wherever he needs, and despite all of Hunt's technology is always one step ahead of him. GSW to the fake face.
Winner: Vincent

Final

5. Lestat vs. 6. Vincent
Match: This is a battle I would like to see. I'm not sure my imagination can even comprehend how it plays out. I do know how it will end though, with a Vampire Vincent, possible the greatest movie character ever. Lestat will enjoy Vincent and try to turn him. Vincent will throw all his weapons at Lestat to no avail, but you know his guy will come prepared. He'll have a wooden stake in his supplies somewhere. And soon after Lestat makes Vincent a vampire, apparently victorious, Vincent will go all Buffy on Lestat.
Winner: Vincent

Don't underestimate the grey-haired.