Brett Favre Sporcle

Check out the great Sporcle quiz I made - Brett Favre Touchdown Passes
You need to name every player that caught a Favre TD pass for the Packers, because we all know his Jets and Vikings ones don't really count.
There are some obviously ones and some pretty, pretty obscure.
Have fun, let me know how you did.

Lost Thoughts

The new TV season has begun, so I thought I'd give you a little Lost post, as it won't be back until January. Boo.
Um, Lost and lists, two of my favorite things. I will put them together. Here is my list of top 5 Lost Characters
Top 5 Lost Character (Pre-Season 5)

1. Desmond - Desmond is the man. No doubt. He was present for all the great episodes -the premiere and finale of season two, and for most of the best he was the main character - "Flashes Before Your Eyes, Catch-22, and when I hadn't yet seen season 4, I remember everyone telling me I needed to see "The Constant" and it didn't disappoint.
He is a cool, serious guy. He can get drunk with you or talk philosophically. I think he brings important balance, someone outside of the Oceanic 815 survivors and the Others. I even downloaded Mama Cass's "Make Your Own Kind of Music" due in large part to Desmond.
2. Daniel - Great addition to the show. I was skeptical with the addition of more new characters in season 4, but I enjoy Daniel, Charlotte, Frank, and Miles. Daniel is obviously the best of them. He has humanity and a bit of compassion. Every time he is on screen, you want to know more about him, you want to see more of him. Skinny tie. Super genius who can't remember anything. Present in "The Constant" and you just root for this guy.
3. Bernard - Just a minor character, but I really like Bernard. He only had one flash-back episode, but he is just a normal guy. Him and Rose are great. I really liked when he kicked butt in the finale of Season 3 and when he was talking to Jin about relationships.
4. Mr. Eko - Eko was a favorite for a while, then he died. I think he had less than a season on the show, but he was a great character. He pretty much dominated everyone that came against him. His beat stick was great. He was a priest (sort of) and his whole redemption story line was great. Someone I would want on my side. Then the Smoke Monster got him. Shoot
5. Sayid- Yeah, don't really need to say much about this guy. Awesome. Smart. Killer. I liked the whole working with Ben thing in Season 4. Interesting twist.



Top 5 Lost Characters (Post Season 5)

1. Daniel - Yep, after season 5, Daniel has taken over the top spot. He was really a main character during the entire season. Pretty much everyone looked to him to solve their problems. His loss of Charlotte was pretty sad stuff. He took on Alpert and the old others. We learned a bit more about his past, then he got killed. Damn. I hope he is back.
2. Desmond - Yep, dropped down to number 2. He just wasn't in the show enough. He did try to help, but was more concerned about his family. Boo.
3. Richard Alpert - A new addition to the list. Alpert is much like Daniel - everytime he is on screen you want more of him. There is still a large mystery to the character, which leaves you wanting more. Why doesn't he age? Why is he on the island? Why does he wear eyeliner? Why the name? I also like the fact that he seems to be neither a good guy or a bad guy.
There is much more to be revealed about Richard. And I'm ready to see it.
4. Mr. Eko - Still strong after being dead for 3 seasons.
5. Miles - I wasn't sure about Miles at first. I thought he could be a much better character, and he still can, but season 5 gave us a bit more about him. Lots of potential. The whole him being the son of Dr. Candle was kind of weird. His powers are cool, but again, like always for Lost, you want to know more about him.

A few other things. I used to really like Jack, but he has gone down steadily since the end of season two. Sawyer is now honorable mention. Unlike Jack, he has been moving up steadily over the years, especially season 5 when he was the leader of his little band, and away from Jack and Kate.

Let me know who you like best.

If you got 10 minutes

This made me laugh out load at work. I was a bit too young for Mystery Science Theater 3000, but now I can appreciate it.
Enjoy!

The Stand - Casting Call

One of the favorite books that I have read over the past few years is Stephen King's The Stand. It's pretty epic. Lots of great characters and long enough for character development.
It was made into a 1994 TV mini-series supervised pretty closely by King. It was good I guess as most parts made it into the book. But some of the casting decisions are head scratchers to say the least. Check out how I woulda done it.

Tony Brown's Casting Call for The Stand:

Larry Underwood
TV Version - Adam Storke - pretty much the biggest thing this guy ever did, definitely not a launching off point for him
My Pick - Casey Affleck
Why? Larry is by far the best character in the book. He is real. He experiences growth. These amazing circumstances he has change him. This makes him more identifiable. You see a real journey. I would go with Affleck because he fits the character description well. He could be a blossoming rock star, he could be that age, he could abandon a woman and come back for her. I also like it that Affleck isn't super known, but in the Assassination of Jesse James movie, he really showed his dramatic ability. I think Affleck could pull off the internal journey of Larry Underwood.

Stu Redmond
TV Version - Gary Sinise - nothing wrong with this pick
My version - Matt Damon
Why? - Stu is kind of the backbone of the novel, pretty much in it from start to finish. He is the All-American, everyman kind of guy, not the most complex or exciting, but a hero nevertheless. I think Damon would be perfect for this.

Nadine
TV Version - Laura San Giacoma - Yes, the girl from Just Shoot Me with the big Quinn Buckner gap in her teeth. Worst choice ever.
My Pick - Rachel Weisz
Why? This may be the most perfect fit. Nadine is alluring and innocent, a bit older, virginal and capable of carrying a demon child. I originally thought of Kate Beckinsale, but she is too pretty and one-dimensional I think Weisz could pull of this dichotomy very well as evidenced by her variety of roles. .You could easily see why Larry and Flagg want her and why kids are drawn to her. Hers is the opposite journey as Larry's.

Fran
TV Version - Molly Ringwald - fits the role pretty well
My Pick - Liv Tyler
Why? Frannie is, well, kind of annoying. Molly Ringwald is that, as is Liv Tyler, but I think you would like Tyler a bit more. I thought of Evan Rachel Wood for this role, but I think she might be too good for it. Liv Tyler is a natural fit - womanly, young, strong at times, annoying at times, not too lovable.

Glen Bateman
TV Version - Ray Walston - this guy has done everything from My favorite Martian to Picket Fences. You might best recognize him as Mr. Hand in Fast Times At Ridgemont High
My Pick - Gene Hackman

Why? You really can't go wrong with Gene Hackman. Glen was an interesting character, a bit too all knowing at preachy at times. I think Hackman could bring both the intelligentsia and humanity to create a great Glen.

Nick
TV Version - Rob Lowe
My Pick - Don Cheadle or Djimon Hounsou or David Wenham
Why? I couldn't really pin this one down. Wenham is Faramir in Lord of the Rings and the narrator in 300. I love Hounsou in his dramatic roles. I think all three could really convey emotion, strength, and vulnerability without speaking. Complex, even tormented character, all three have shown they are up to that job.

Tom
TV Version - Bill Fagerbakke - big dude from Coach
My Version - ???
I really don't have anyone better for this role. Any suggestions?

Rita
TV Version - not in it
My Pick - Talia Shire - Rocky's Lady
Why? - This goes to my Larry Underwood preference. Rita is an integral part of his story, maybe not to The Stand as a whole, but big in Larry's journey. I couldn't leave her out.
I originally thought of Susan Sarandon for this one, the cougar of choice these days, but I think she is too attractive. I thought of Sharon Stone, but ended with Talia Shire because of her age, her acting ability, her hint of attractiveness, and I think she would be a great Rita for Larry.

Randall Flagg
TV Version - Jamey Sheridan - might recognize him from Law and Order: Criminal Intent
My Pick - Daniel Day Lewis or John Malcovich.
Why? These might be cliche picks, but I know both could kill the role. I might lean towards Day-Lewis due to his ability to be physically imposing. Think Gangs of New York. In Flagg you need someone scary, powerful, but also charismatic and alluring, so you can identify with the people on his side.

Trashcan Man
TV Version - Matt Frewer - Most Recently seen as Moloch in Watchmen
My pick - Gary Oldman
Why? I don't really recall an age for Trashy, just that he was F-ing crazy. Oldman could do this. I thought of Philip Seymour Hoffman as well and Ben from Lost. All might be too good for this role, but it is essential.

Ralph Brentner
TV Version - Peter Van Norden - Who?
My Pick - Brian Dennehy
Why? Another all American character. I just think Dennehy would be a perfect farmer. Maybe a bit too old. Considered James Gandolfini and Tommy Lee Jones, but Gandolfini will never be anything but Tony Soprano.

Harold
TV - Corin Nemec - aka Parker Lewis Can't Lose
My Pick - Emil Hirsch
Why? Another great character journey here. His is set in motion early, but you never really think he's going to go fully to the dark side. I don't really like Emil Hirsch, but he is a great actor. He has that depth to be the slimy Harold, to front for a long time, and have something hiding under the surface, and he seems to be alright with weight fluctuation as seen in Into the Wild, so adding some pounds wouldn't be a problem.

There you go. A much better version than the original. I should be a casting director! Let me know what you think, and where I went right/wrong.

Wrigley

Making my second trip to Wrigley Field tonight for the game today and tomorrow. Two meaningless games for both teams. Remember last year how fun the Brewers were. So exciting. Now, nothing. I think about half my posts in Sept and October last year were on the Brewers. Man. 2009, not so hot. Bring back CC! I will have my CC shirt on tonight just for good measure.
Don't worry my friends and I will still rep hard for Milwaukee. Should be a fun time. I have to admit I do like Wrigleyville.


UPDATE -
So, turns out I went to the right games of the series. Lots of runs. A Jody Gerut grand slam. Wow! Wins by Looper and Bush. The stadium wasn't too hype due to both teams doing poorly. Last time I was there it was a tight race and I was in the bleachers, so the atmosphere was much more dope.
Cubs fans LOVE cheering for fly balls. Do they think they will be home runs?
Lots of Brewer fans around. That is cool. The "Miller Park South" shirts were nice.
Best part was my group of friends singing Roll Out the Barrel after Take me out to the ball game. A few other Brewer fans joined in, but it was mostly just us. We got lots and lots of boos. Pretty nice. We went to their place and did our thing. Brewers!

Comic books I found on my own

There are lots of great comic books out there. I've been a fan for years. I've read most of the best, or what most people consider to be the best. I've seen many lists of "Best Comic Stories Ever", best graphic novels, "Best Spider-Man or Batman Stories", lists which often times I used to develop my own reading list. So basically, most things, and I guess it goes for books and movies as well, I read because someone else said it was good. So when you happen about something you discover for yourself, you take a little ownership in it, and like it even a little more. And this is also connected to the previous post, you go into it with no expectation or idea of what may happen.
So here is my list of favorite comics I found on my own. Obviously things like Watchmen and Batman: Year One won't be on the list.

Inhumans - I can't believe this isn't more popular. I'm talking about the Marvel Knights 12 issues series. Great writing, amazing art. It humanized the Inhumans, created a new group of characters, and new dimensions for existing characters. One of my all-time favorites, pick it up if you got the chance.

Nightcrawler - 2002 Icons miniseries - A pretty simple, non-superhero story about the international slave trade. Pretty wild. Also lots of great stuff about Nightcrawler being a Roman Catholic Priest. Good stuff.

Daredevil #268 -
Just look at the cover. Man, Daredevil should be in a wife beater holding a bottle of Jim Beam. And the story was pretty great too, a simple stand alone story about a child murderer. Grimey, tells a lot about the character and where he is at the time.

Fantastic Four #276,277 - Part of the great John Byrne run I mentioned in the previous post. This short two issue story arc is often overlooked. It's about witches and hell, and 277 has this great double, simultaneous story with Reed and Sue trying to free Franklin from Hell and Johnny and Ben meeting after Johnny and Alicia got together. It is great stuff for FF fans, Great stuff!

Fantastic Four: Unthinkable - issues 67-70 of the third series, right where it resumes the old numbering, if that makes sense. Great Dr. Doom story. Shedding new light on a 40 -year old character and the FF as a family.

JLA #43-46 - "The Tower of Babel" I am not a huge JLA or even DC reader. I picked this up because it was a Ra's Al Ghul story, but it ended up being a great, genius Batman story. Check it out.

Nightwing #30 - I wouldn't say this is a classic, as some of the others are, but it is interesting juxtaposition of Nightwing next to Superman, first because of the obvious Superman/human difference, and second due to the Nightwing/Batman, Superman/Batman dynamic. Good subtle stuff.


There you go, a short list of comics I found on my own, kind of ironic that I am telling you stuff I found on my own and suggesting it to read, so you then can't really discover it and are checking it out because someone told you to.
Anyway, add your own comics/books/movies/athletes you discovered on your own.

Things I want to experience again for the first time

I had a friend in Montana who said multiple times that if he had a time machine he would go back in time and watch Back to the Future again without knowing what happens. That is a strong call-out. Then a while later I happened on this article from the AV Club of the Onion pretty much asking what would you like to be able to see or hear again for the first time. That is a pretty simple, but complicated question and really got me thinking. Here are things I wish I could experience again for the first time without any knowledge of them. I took the route of how could I make these things better, rather than what were my best experiences. Make sense?
Here we go.
Packers' Super Bowl run - It's not that I didn't appreciate this, it's just that I was only in 7th grade and probably would have enjoyed it more being a bit older.
The Wonder Years - I was just a bit to young for this. I watched it, but wasn't really mature enough to get everything or identify totally with Kevin.
Jaws - lots of these movies will be classic ones from my youth that I watched over and over again, still great every time I watch them, but I can't even imagine what the first time would've been like, not knowing how things were gonna play out
Ghostbusters - Ditto
Star Wars - again, watched it so many times, don't really know what the first time would be like
Planet of the Apes - "The movie or the planet?" Epic.
Badgers Rose Bowls and Final Four Run - this is more of the case of "I wish I was in college when..." I can't image how awesome it would be.
Fantastic Four (pretty much the entire John Byrne run) -
I can't imagine what it would be like reading these issues once a month as they came out. By the time I got to them they were already part of FF legend. Plus, getting them later it was harder to get the better issues, so I had to read them out of order. Specifically issues 242-244, 236, 285, and 267. I already knew the major shocks by the time I read them.
Seinfeld- I was just too young to get much of the sexual and relationship humor, but that made seeing reruns much more enjoyable. Kind of similar to the Simpsons, but as I said before, the best episodes were great when I first saw them, when I saw them in syndication, and when I saw them on the DVDs.
Cider House Rules and Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? - I would've liked to read these books without seeing the movie first, a couple of many more like that
Harry Potter - I read the first one in high school but then didn't pick them back up until summer of 07 after seeing the 4th movie.
And I had already seen the 2nd movie, so I skipped that book. And by the time I was really getting into the meat of the series, that last book was already out, Dumbledore was out of the closet, and a few other things were already known. But I am happy to say that I was never one of the people camping out overnight and dressing up as a wizard or something.

And here is a list of things I would like to experience again for the first time, but not change anything about it.
Lost - I have had the pleasure of watching LOST both on DVD and waiting week to week. Both are good, but I think the anticipation might make it better.
Survivor- Ok, I'm thinking back to season 1 and 2 and some other good ones in the middle. Again, watching week to week is great, knowing you were part of something special




The Office - I never got into the Office until Season 3 when it was at its best. I was still learning about the characters in their funniest, best moments. Plus I can see occasional old episodes which are new to me.
Jurassic Park - I was probably 10 when this came out, pretty much the perfect age. Loved it and still love it

Independence Day - Vastly underrated, saw it when I was 12 I think, perfect.
Breaking Away - Yes.


There is my list of thing I would like to experience again for the first time. Adding your own thoughts/things you want to experience again is greatly encouraged.

Sporcle - Best Work Distraction

This spring I chanced upon a great trivia/list website - www.sporcle.com
It is pretty much the best trivia/random knowledge website I have come across. Basically, you have a question or topic like Tom Cruise Movie or Wimbledon Champions or Countries in Asia and you have a set amount of time (longer for the larger categories) to fill in the list. When I first checked it out, I literally spent 3 hours a day on it. There is a huge variety of categories and quizzes - movies, geography, music, sports, history, literature, TV and so on. Definitely check it out. It is a great distraction at work and makes those slow days fly by.

Here are some of my favorites
Geography - Landlocked Countries, One Neighbor Countries - got 'em all on this one, XYZ countries - harder than you think
History - Historical City Populations, Historical US City Populations, Time Person of the Year - all pretty hard
Literature - Harry Potter Surnames - I missed only 3 on that one, Shakespeare Plays - only missed 7 on that one, pretty dang good i think
Movies - Actors Highest Grossing 1 and 2 - some interesting stuff, Box Office Top 80's and 90's, Disney Animated Movies - there's a lot!, James Bond Movies, Top Movie Franchises, High School Movies
Sports - #1 Ranked Tennis Players - great one, one of the first ones I did, 2008 Olympic Sports, Home Run Leaders A-Z, Most NCAA Final Fours, 1st Round Quarterbacks, Premiership All-Time - this is actually the one that led me to Sporcle, some emailed it to me. I missed 4.
TV - Survivor Locations, Top Rated TV - a fun one.


There is a small sample. It has something for everyone and is super addictive. No matter how much you know, you usually forget something and get frustrated and also have those "aww yeah" moments when you remember something at the last minute.
Fun Stuff, don't get too addicted.

EPL Fantasy Draft Review

OK, time for a little fantasy football draft analysis. The fantasy football here would be English football in the English Premier League. It's tough to find a quality EPL fantasy league as all of them are salary cap based, so my friends and I created a league with a traditional American football format. We have 11 teams in the league which is a very good amount. You get points for goals, shutouts, assists, team of the week and negative for goals against and red cards. Each team has 16 players - 11 starters, 5 reserves - so by the end you are dipping into some little known players, but at the same time you don't need Burnley backup defenders or anything like that.
Last year I won the league with a drafted team of ....
Cesc Fabregas
Yakubu
Deco
Bosingwa
Theo Walcott
Andy Johnson
Aaron Lennon
Gary Neville
Ryan Nelson
Scott Carson
Robinho
Tom Huddlestone
Leighton Baines
Ben Haim
Steven Pienaar
El -Hadji Douif

And an ending team of
Fabregas
Bosingwa
Walcott
Johnson
Lennon
Robinho
Pienaar
Baines
James Beattie
Tim Howard
Rafael
Curtis Davies
K. Richardson
Sol Campbell
Jonny Evans
Mikel Silvestre

Yeah, so half of my team at the end of the season were players I originally drafted, and I would say other tops teams would have around the same % of original players. Thus, picking up quality players and I'm pretty sure most of my pickups were drafted this year, some in high rounds, is just as important as the draft.
But anyways, we will look at this years draft and criticise some people.

Here is how the draft went

Round 1
1. Steven Gerrard (Liverpool) - New edition Carlo stole Stevie G from Worth. Smart pick as Gerrard was the Fantasy LeaguePlayer of the Season last year
2. Fernando Torres (Liverpool)- Best forward in the league?
3. Frank Lampard (Chelsea) - Obvious pick, could've went #1, will have triple digit points again this fantasy season
4. Wayne Rooney (Man U) - This would've been my top pick, especially because I don't pick Liverpool players, but I feel Rooney is due for his huge year.
5. Nicolas Anelka (Chelsea) - Last year's leading goal scorer. Will be solid, but maybe not as dynamic as Rooney, Torres, or Robinho
6. Robin Van Persie (Arsenal) - This manager does not take Chelsea, Man U, Tottenham or Liverpool players, so Arsenal's best player is an obvious choice, probably glad he didn't get a higher pick.
7. Adrei Arshavin (Arsenal) - Took the league by storm last season even though it was only for half the year. Great midfielder pick
8. Emmauel Adebayor (Man City) - Great striker, but a bit of a risk because City has a load of quality stikers.
9. Didier Droga (Chelsea) - slipped this far due to injury problems and possible move to Inter Milan, but could end up the leading goal scorer.
10. Cesc Fabregas (Arsenal) - Injuries and possible move to Barca make him slid this far, but everything Arsenal does goes through him.
11. Robinho (Man City) The steal of the draft last year in the 11th round (cuz he was on Real Madrid). Good pick at the end of the first round. Will start every game, albeit as more of a winger than an out-and-out striker.

Round 2
12. Rio Ferdinand (MAN U)- Surprised to see him go so high. I would've thought Terry or Vidic would be the first defender taken.
13. Berbatov (MAN U) - Huge disappointment last year, but I see him settling in at Man U, especially in the absense of Tevez
14. John Terry (Chelsea) - Strong pick at 14, one of a handful of marque defenders in the league.
15. Ashley Young (Aston Villa) - I love Ashley Young, think he will have an even better year than last, a steal at midfielder.

16. Gabriel Agbonlahor (Aston Villa) - Not a big fan of this pick. I see Agbonlahor getting similar points to Young, but Young is much more valuable due to his midfielder status.
17. Theo Walcott (Arsenal) - One of my favorites, but might be taken a round or so early.
18.Vidic (Man U) - Strong pick, good steal for last season's top scoring defender
19. Peter Cech (Chelsea) - First goalie taken, will get lots of shut-outs, probably more valuable than Van der Sar to to the latter's injury.
20.Patrice Evra (Man U) One of the Big Four defender you can pencil in to start every game. Wouldn't have been my choice, but I can't hate on it.
21. Dirk Kuyt (LIV) - Scored a lot of points last year, and this year his midfield eligibilty makes him even stronger. Watch out.
22. Pepe Reina (LIV) - Perphaps a little high, not sure if Liverpool is as strong desensively as in past years.

There you go, I won't bore you with every round. I'll just look at my team and some high and low light picks. Interesting note, only 6 teams were represented in the first 22 picks. and the next 3 rounds would only bring in two more teams (Everton and Fulham). Definitely a top-heavy league.

My Picks
1 (10 overall) Cesc Fabregas
2 (13) Berbatov
3 (32) Gael Clicy - Possible a bit high, but I see him as Arsenal's best defender. I really wanted Ashley Cole here, but he was taken the pick before.
4 (35) Jolean Lescott - Everton at the time, now Man City. Will that matter?
5. (54) Gareth Barry - Not sure about this one.
6. (57) John O'Shea - Quality Man Defender, will get lots of starts
7. (76) Robbie Keane - Got some ridicule for this pick, but at the end of the season I will stand by it.
8. (79) Micah Richards - last starting Man City Defender and looking at the other picks in this round - Deco, Giovanni, Shorey, C. Cole, C. Davies, Yobo, Carrick, Dempsey, Crouch, Nasri - I think I won this round. (Is Micah Richards the English version of me?)
9. (98) Michael Ballack - Good pick up for round 9
10. (101) Stuart Downing - Injured, but will boast the team come December
11. (120) Phil Neville - another Everton defender, most people forget about him
12. (123) Andy Johnson - Only player I have had all three years, got him round 2, round 6, now round 12.
13. (142) - Abu Diaby
14. (145) - Lucas Neill
15. (164) Jussi Jaaskalinen
16. (167) David Silva - didn't catch my Robinho this year

I am not as confident in my team this year as last. The league seems to be much more even as people are more used to it. But, i'm sure it will be spread out eventually. I really like my picks 7-9, but am uncertain about 3-6. I'll again need to steal pickups.

Here are some steals I saw in the draft
Ricardo Carvalho - Taken in mid 5th round, when Alex, his backup, was taking with the 1st pick in the 4th round and the other three starting Chelsea defenders were taking in the 2nd and 3rd rounds.
Yakubu - Another 5th round steal, when the last two years he was taken in the second round
Aaron Lennon - Taken mid 7th round. Don't be surprised if this guy is the 5th best midfielder in the league. I should've taken him over Barry.

John Pantsil and Aaron Hughes - Two Fulham defenders, the rest of the starters went in rounds 4, 6 , and 9.
Jonny Evans and Wes Brown - Two Man U defenders taken back to back in the 13th round, both could start regularly
Charles N'Zogbia - nice to get a reliable midfielder in the 15th round

Not So Clever Picks
Rosicky and Eduardo in the 5th round. About two rounds too early for each
Jo - 6th round - 3rd choice striker on a team that plays one striker
Daniel Agger - 7th round - not sure if he will play at all
Danny Murphy - 7th round - a reliable midfielder, but probably could've got him much later
Zhirkov - 7th round - will he play at Chelsea or be another Alexi Smertin/Tiago?
Titus Bramble - 13th round - Hmm, team of the week in the first week, -4 the second week, more like I expected
Daniel Sturridge 14th round - Might as well have picked Tab Ramos



From the looks for peoples teams I see Jesse and Carlo struggling.
I like Dustin's team, but I think his tandem up top of Kevin Davies and Eduardo is too weak.
Despite the high number of Croatians, I really like Nik's team.
Worth should do well again, if only because he puts in much effort. Might be to relient on Liverpool, just like BJ is too relient on Arsenal.
Raubert has a marked improvement on last years team and could challenge if he gets rid of some of his dead weight.
Junkie has a strong squad, but that Alex pick may hurt. Too early to call out the teams to beat. It'll be another fun year!

2009/2010 English Premier League Preview

Exciting time! The English Premier League starts tomorrow, so before I get into my fantasy league review, I thought I would give you a nice little preview of this year's English Premier League. It's always a bit premature to make any predictions before the end of the transfer window at the end of the month, but all give it a try anyways.

A few of the big stories are the massive amounts of money coming in from the UEA to Manchester City, Christiano Ronaldo leaving to Real Madrid, the Rafa/Fergie feud, and the relative weakness of the bottom half of the league.

Here are my picks. Enjoy.

1. Chelsea – This pick may be a bit of a surprise, but I like Chelsea. They have only added a few role players, but that is what they need. You shouldn’t take too much stock in the preseason, but Chelsea has looked pretty good. Drogba seems ready and committed, Anelka looks like a video game player, and Lampard and Terry are always more than solid. I look for Chelsea to continue their Hiddink form under Ancelotti. They will get back Ricardo Carvalho and Joe Cole, both who missed much of last season due to injury.

Player to watch: Ivanovic – This young kid looks pretty solid. He can play in the central or on the wing and may soon take the place of Bosingwa

2. Manchester United – Champions for the past 3 years will now have questions with the loss of Ronaldo and Tevez. Still an amazing team capable of winning the league and the Champion’s League. Look for Rooney to step up and for Berbatov to have a much better season than last. Defense and ‘keeper (once Van der Sar is back) are the best in the league. What also sets Man U apart is its array of young talent. You have Jonny Evans, Rafael, his brother, and a few young strikers who are ready to step in and perform at a high level on any given day. Carrick is a stud in midfield who makes things happen and watching Michael Owen will certainly be interesting.

Player to watch: Vidic – An amazing defender, in the Premier League Top XI if you ask me. This guy defends and scores on set pieces, definitely has over taken Rio Ferdinand as the heart of the Man U defense

3. Liverpool – Lots of hype for Liverpool in the last few years. They were very close last season, but their away woes, especially against lower level teams have really prevented them from taking the top spot. One could argue that they have the best striker (Torres), best midfielder (Gerrard), and best keeper (Reina), but I still do not think they have enough depth to take the title. Their defense, always impressive, is very much based on a strong team aspect, rather than individual brilliance you see from other top teams, but the constant changing of the starting XI, similar to Ranieri a while ago at Chelsea, could cause inconsistency.

Player to watch: Beneyoun – This guy always seems to pop up in the right place at the right time. Constant motor, big game player

4. Manchester City –

I think it is time, for the first time since 2005, for a new team to enter the top 4. No more “big four”. I was skeptical of Man City last year. The sprayed a lot of money all over the place, but not that wisely. This summer was a different story. They obtained proven Premier League players – Tevez, Adebayor, Toure, Barry, Santa Cruz. I think Barry will be the key, holding things down in the middle, distributing to all the strikers and goal scorers. Too many stars? Could be a problem. And I see the defense preventing them from seriously challenging for the title.

Player to Watch: Tevez – let’s see if he can return to his West Ham dominance.

5. Arsenal – I can’t remember years when multiple top teams – Man U, Arsenal, Villa – seemingly got worse, losing players and not really buying any top notch replacements. Arsenal have lost two of their top players – Toure and Adebayor – and should again be marked by the inconsistency that plagued them last season and saw them barely manage 4^th place. They still have loads of young talented, fun to watch players – Fabregas, Arshavin, Van Persie, Walcott – but I believe they do not have the toughness to maintain their champions league spot.

Player to watch: Arshavin – Eduardo – Croatian Sensation. Only played a few games last year, but if healthy, watch for him to score loads of goals as he does for Croatia.

6. Tottenham – It seems like every year Tottenham spend lots of money and have aspirations to challenge the top four and end up being utterly disappointing. I hate to say it but I think Harry Redknapp is finally shifting the Spurs in the correct directions. 4 solid strikers with the addition of Peter Crouch. A strong midfield with Modric and Lennon playing well. And the defensive woes that plagued them during the first half of last season seemed to be righted as well. Again I am looking at the form of the end of last season, so I see the Spurs taking 6^th

Player to watch: Aaron Lennon – this kid is sick. So much speed down the wing

7. Everton – I hate to say this, as most of my readers know Everton are my team, but Everton have added little this summer except for a bit more audaciousness to their hair. Save maybe Hibbert, the first choice starting 11 is as solid as any. Everton are definitely a TEAM, all playing equally well and equally hard with a tremendous work ethic instilled by manager David Moyes. But lack of depth and injuries from last campaign will see Everton start very slowly, much like last year. Starting without Arteta and Jagielka will hurt. I hope to see a hungry Yak as usually, but missing 10 months is a long time. Lescott will not leave. Baines is stepping it up and hopefully Yak, Jo, and Saha can put some goals in the net.

Player to Watch: Pienaar – Stephen Pienaar was on fire at the end of last year, providing the allusive playmaker the Toffees needed. He continued this great play in the Confederations Cup, so look for another exciting season for Pienaar

Americans: 1

8. Aston Villa – They challenged for the top four for much of last year, but the loss of Barry and Laursen will hurt a lot. Great attacking options – Heskey, Carew, Young, Agbonlahor, Milner – but not a great goal scoring team, seem to falter in the big games. You got to love two American goalies, but defense is a big question mark. I don’t see the same success as last year.

Player to watch: Ashley Young – another great young attacking winger. Will he keep newboy Downing out of the lineup?

Americans: 2

9. Fulham - Fulham definitely over-achieved last year and should enjoy their European football while it lasts. Defense keeps them in most games and often times they only need one goal to take the three points. Solid mid-table team

Player to watch – Mark Schwarzer – one of the best ‘keepers in the world

Americans: 1

10. Sunderland- Look for Steve Bruce to turn Sunderland into a dependable mid-table side. Two nice new additions with Darren Bent, who seems to score everywhere he goes no matter how much playing time or if the coach likes him or not, and U-21 midfielder Lee Cattermole. Nothing special really, flying the flag for the Northwest now, and shouldn’t need to sweat it out on the final day of the season.

Player to watch: Kenwyne Jones – This Trinidadin has strength, pace, and quality in the air and solid dreds.

11. West Ham – I’m not buying all the Zola hype. I see average defense, and average midfield, and an average at best strikeforce. There is a lot of excitement at Upton Park, but I’m not really sure why.

Player to watch: hmm, it will be fun to see how many matches Dean Ashton plays

Americans: 1

12. Bolton - The mediocrity continues. Bolton are solid. They play route 1 football with Kevin Davies up top and have an adequate back line with the addition of Zat Knight, but are really lacking in the midfield. Nothing too exciting, but with the second half of the league so poor, should really not be in the relegation fight.

Player to watch – Matthew Taylor – this guy scores lots of quality goals.

13. Stoke – Defied many by staying up rather easy last season and finishing 12^th. Similar to Everton before Moyes sans Big Dunc – hard work, route 1 football, strong workmen in the midfield and solid D. Beattie and Fuller are quality strikers.

Player to watch – Rory Delap – he makes throw-ins exciting!

14. Birmingham – This team has a enough Premiership rejects – Lee Carsley, Lee Bowyer, Marcus Bent, Kevin Phillips, James McFadden, Stephen Carr, Stuart Parnaby, Franck Queudrue, Liam Ridgewell – to field an entire side. That should be enough to stay up.

Player to watch: Barry Ferguson – watch for profane hand signs from the sideline

15. Blackburn – Wow, pretty unremarkable here. Decent in a few spots with Gamst Pedersen and McCarthy, but lacking flair and play making overall. Can’t even tell you who starts in the midfield. Look for the Rovers to remain in the relegation fight the entire season.

Player to watch: Christopher Samba – he is a massive man at the center of the D, but also gets the occasion start up top when changes are needed

16. Wigan – Each year I expect Wigan to be relegated, but they over perform and are usually not even in the discussion. I expect them to be in the discussion, but I see their defense and ‘keeper to allow them to stay in the Premier League for another season.

Player to Watch: Jason Scotland - 2^nd leading scorer in the Championship last year oh, and Titus Bramble. Will he get more goals or own goals? Tough one.

17. Portsmouth – Many of the experts are picking Pompey to go down. I think they will be very close, selling top striker Peter Crouch and top defender and midfielder Glen Johnson. But that money is going to debts, not to bettering the squad. Goals will be very, very tough to come by. Look for the veteran, albeit slow and old back line of David James, Sol Campbell, and Sylvan Distan to keep them up.

Player to Watch: Piquionne – Goals need to come from somewhere and this could be the source

18. Burnley – I don’t know much about Burnley. They could be like last year’s Stoke or last year’s West Brom. I don’t think they have enough class to stay up

19. Wolves – Wolves start the year at the bottom of the table (last alphabetically). Will they end there? It’s a distinct possibility. They are hoping they will fair better than their previous and only time in the Premiership, 2003-2004, finishing dead last.

Player to watch: Sylvan Ebanks-Blake

20. Hull City –

Only once this decade has the team that finished 17^th the previous year been relegated. Look for Hull to pull a West Brom and be the second. I just don’t see a strong enough side. In fact, the team was rather dreadful the final 5 months. Hopefully Jozy Altidore will get some much need playing time.

Player to Watch: Jozy

Americans: 1

Game on

March Madness Thoughts

Wow, I am doing horrible in my pools. In fact I am in last place in 3 of 4. Damn, that is bad. So, don't really listen to anything I say.

Some people have been hating on this tournament because of its lack of upsets and buzzer beaters, but I think it has been pretty entertaining. Just look at Friday night and Saturday night. All the big teams save UCONN have been challenged. LSU made UNC look beatable same with Louisville against Siena and Pittsburgh twice. I think the case in a lot of instances was just the better team winning.

Also noticed that in almost all the close games, the team I was rooting for lost, but I guess that makes sense when you root for the underdog.
Friday was good as I was rooting for Wisconsin, Oklahoma St., Marquetee, and Siena, but Saturday blew - Duke, UNC, Purdue, and Gonzaga all winning close games. Man, then Sunday was more of the same.

I am glad I am a Wisconsin fan and not a Marquette fan. I am not a Marquette hater, but it's kinda funny. They waited 4 years for this? This was supposed to be their year, with the three senior guards, while it was a down year for UW. I was much more pleased this year with the Badgers as there was no expectations like in years past. I knew they were still gonna be good last year, winning the regular season and tournament and making it to the Sweet Sixteen, and I knew they would be OK this year, but sorry Badger fans, I think their NCAA tournament run ends next year. Is Travon Hughes really going to lead them? Jason Bohannan? Tim Jarmuz? I still, though consider Wisconsin a top 20 program. Maybe that is the homer in me, but 2nd Round, Sweet 16, 2nd Round, 1st Round, Elite 8, 2nd Round, Sweet 16 - that is a pretty good 7 year run.

As for teams still in the tournament, I hope it is not again all #1 seeds. That would be boring. I think the #2 seeds are vulnerable, so possible a 3 seed could sneak in the Final Four. Hopefully by the end of the day, I will no longer be last in my pools.

What is the best season of The Simpsons?

SticSticking with the Simpsons posts here. There is so much great stuff there, one could definitely devote an entire blog to The Simpsons.

Today we are looking at the best Simpsons seasons. I was again going to do a countdown myself, but I think this time we will go for some audience participation. Simply vote for what you think is the best season over on the right hand side.
Below I will take a look at each season, posting it's resume ala-Selection Sunday.
Popular thought is that seasons 4-6 are the best, but I will expand things a bit to include 2-7. That is The Simpsons in its prime.


Season 2
Summary: Season two is where the Simpsons began to take shape. It was still very much a children's show with Bart as the central character, but see begin to see it maturing. Home takes a more central role and we see some episodes focusing on minor characters. First appearances of many favorites - Lionel Hutz, Troy McClure, Dr. Hibbert, Professor Fink, Ralph Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, and Groundskeeper Willie
Best Episode: Blood Feud
Great Episodes:
Good Episodes: Bart Gets an F, Bart Gets Hiy by a Car, One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish Blue Fish, Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment, Lisa's Substitute
Bad Episodes: Treehouse of Horror, War of the Simpsons

Season 3
Summary: This is the season where classic Simpsons begins. We have the blend ridiculous humor and character development and emotional driven episodes. It is still a bit inconsistent, though. Best episodes still Bart-centric.
Best Episode: Homer at the Bat
Great Episodes: Bart the Lover, Bart the Murderer
Good Episodes: The Otto Show, Radio Bart, Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk, Flaming Moes, Lisa the Greek, Saturdays of Thunder, Treehouse of Horror II, Stark Raving Dad,
When Flanders failed
Bad Episodes: Like Father, Like Clown, Colonel Homer, Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes?


Season 4
Summary: Here we have Simpsons at its best and brightest. There is absurd humor, gag-filled episodes, and continued emotion driven episodes. Here is where we often see the classical plotted episodes. We see more and more of minor characters in starring roles or at least well defined roles. Very consistent season. Greatly written and greatly creative.
Best Episode: Last Exit to Springfield
Great Episodes: Brother from the Same Planet, Marge vs. the Monorail, A Streetcar Named Marge, Marge in Chains, Mr. Plow
Good Episodes: Lisa's First Word, Selma's Choice, I Love Lisa, Duffless, Krusty Gets Canceled, New Kid on the Block, Whacking Day
Bad Episodes: Lisa the Beauty Queen, The Front, Homer the Heretic


Season 5:
Summary: Similar to season 4, very consistent, more use of minor characters. This is though, where stories begin to get a bit ridiculous and unbelievable and the show begins to parody itself a bit too much. Full, rich episodes. Loads of parodies and spoofs. This is where we see Homer obviously being the most used character.
Best Episode: $pringfield
Great Episodes: Rosebud, Cape Feare, Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baddasssss Song, The Last Temptation of Homer
Good Episodes: Bart's Inner Child, Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy, Deep Space Homer, Homer and Apu, Bart Gets Famous, Homer goes to College, Homer's Barbershop Quartet, Burn's Heir
Bad Episodes: Homer the Vigilante, Lady Bouvier's Lover


Season 6
Summary: Season 6 is very much a combo of seasons 4 and 5. It has full ridic episodes as well as some unbelievable ones. We see Homer ingraining himself as the star character. I feel this is where there begins to be some bad episodes that make the good ones seem even better. Lots of amazing eps, though.
Best Episode: Bart's Comet
Great Episodes: Lisa's Rival, Bart of Darkness, A Star is Burns, Treehouse of Horror V, Who Shot Mr. Burns Pt. 1
Good Episodes: And Maggie Makes Three, Homer the Great, Homer Badman, Two Dozen and One Greyhounds, Homie the Clown
Bad Episodes: Grandpa vs, Sexual Inadequacy, Fear of Flying, Lisa's Wedding, Round
Springfield, The Springfield Connection, Lemon of Troy

Season 7
Summary: Season 7 was a mixed bag. Some of it was very close to the best of seasons past, but much of it was straying from what made The Simpsons great. Some awesome stories, some too wild.
Best Episode: 22 short Films About Springfield
Great Episodes:
Good Episodes: King Sized Homer, Bart Sells His Soul, A Fish Called Selma
Bad Episodes: Mother Simpson, Marge Be Not Proud, Two Bad Neighbors, Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield, Bart the Fink, Abe Simpson and "The Flying Hellfish"

There you go folks. Vote for the Best!

Best Simpsons Episodes Ever!

Well, we have finally made it to the top tier of our Simpsons Best Episodes Countdown. These are the 13 top episodes ranging from seasons 3-8. The classics are here - Last Exit to Springfield, Monorail, Rosebud- the three predicted by Thorzul - Homer at the Bat, 22 Short Films, Hank Scorpio- and a few surprises.
At the end of last entry, we looked at the usual construction of a classic Simpsons Episode - something rather crazy starts the episode, which causes some sort of problem which the lead character, usually one of the Simpsons must solve, and in solving it, there is actual character development and sentimental situations, so usually the first part of the episode is more funny and the second more sincere. I think that is a pretty good Simpsons mold, and you will see, most episodes on this list fit that mold.

And here they are The Best Simpsons Episodes ever.....

13.) You Only Move Twice
Season 8
Writer: John Swartzwelder
What happens: Homer gets a new job in a new city. The rest of the family is against moving. Homer's new boss Hank Scorpio is an evil genius. In the end, Homer does what is best for his family and moves back to Springfield.
Why 13? You can't go wrong with a James Bond Parody. Also this is a rare episode where the entire Simpsons family each has a story line. This is also classic Homer here, clueless but not a goon or buffoon. Also, this was back when FOX first got the MLB playoffs, so you had to wait forever to get new Simpsons. This was the first non-Halloween ep of the season, so anticipation was high. A gem of an epsiode when things were starting to go downhill.
Funny Stuff: Aw, The Denver Broncos?!
Hank Scorpio is great. I loved the coat gag, well delivered, even if it was similar to Lionel Hutz's tie gag. And he just pulls sugar out of his pocket!
Mr. Bont!
The Hammock District

Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up two percent, and it's all because of
my motivational techniques. Like, donuts. And a possibility of more
donuts to come.

12.) A Star is Burns

Season 6
Writer: Ken Keeler
What happens?: The town decides to have a film festival after it is named the least cultural city in the U.S. The Critic comes to Judge the festival. Mr. Burns tries to buy the award for best film.
Why 12? This is one of the most iconic episodes of The Simpsons, but it is rather inconsistent. This is a rare episode where the second half is funnier than the first. The stuff with Jay Sherman isn't funny.
In fact, Matt Groening was very much against this episode as he saw it as just a big promo for The Critic, and wanted to pull the ep off the air. He did not to commentary on the DVD or put his name on the credits.
But when it is on, it is great! I think Boo-urns is the most used Simpsons quote. I use it like 5 times a day.
Funny Stuff:

Audience: Boo!  Boo!

Burns: Smithers...are they booing me?
Smithers: Uh, no, they're saying "Boo-urns!  Boo-urns!"

Burns: Are you saying "boo" or "Boo-urns"?
Audience: Boo!  Boo!
Hans: I was saying "Boo-urns"...


Homer: Marge, are we Jewish?
Marge: No, Homer.
Homer: Woo hoo!

Senor Spielbergo

Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod:
we're both factory owners, we both made shells for the
Nazis, but mine worked, dammit!  Now go out there and win me
that festival!

Football in the groin with Hans Moleman or George C. Scott

But...the ball!  His groin!  Ah ha!  It works on so many levels!

11.) A Streetcar Named Marge

Season 4
Writer: Jeff Martin
What Happened? Streetcar Named Desire as a musical starring Marge as Blanche. The show makes her realized Homer doesn't always treat her right.
What #11? I don't want you thinking I like musical numbers and Jon Lovitz, but this was a great ep, a great character study of Homer and Marge. The B story of Maggie at the day care was cute, anything to The Great Escape music is awesome.
Funny Stuff:
All these obvious character from the Simpsons playing other characters was great.
Another amazing Hutz line: Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law. I'm filing a class-action suit against the director on behalf of everyone who was cut from the play. I also play Mitch!

   If you ask me, they're all winners!

We'll be cutting our first 40 contestants right after this.


-- Troy McClure





Marge: I thought it would be a good chance to


meet some other adults.
Homer: [eyes fixed on the television set]  Sounds interesting.

Marge: You know, I spend all day home with Maggie.  Sometimes it's
like I don't even exist.
Homer: [eyes fixed on the television set]  Sounds interesting.

Homer: I can't fake an interest in this, and I'm an expert at faking an
interest in your kooky projects.

10.) Bart of Darkness
Season 6
Writer: Dan McGrath
What happens? It is a hot, hot summer and Lisa and Bart convince Homer to get a pool. The whole school comes to swim. Bart falls because his epidermis is showing and Lisa becomes cool. Then comes the Rear Window parody with Bart who thinks Flanders killed his wife.
Why 10? This is the first episode of season 6 and one of the first times FOX had the playoffs, so we had to wait a long time for this. FOX had already learned to start out the season with a Bart-centered episode and this one did not disappoint. Good story, well paced, Lisa and Bart switching places was a good idea. Simple story and fun. Good use of Homer as a minor character, where he is often at his best and multiple funny lines by Martin.
Funny stuff:
The ep starts off with Homer and Bart cooling themselves down by rubbing frozen veggies all over themselves. "I got the idea when I noticed the refrigerator was cold"
"ICE CREAM, ICE CREAM, I'm all outta ice cream."

Let us celebrate our new arrangement with the adding of chocolate to milk.

Great scene with Chief Wiggum in the helicopter

 Do not be alarmed,
continue swimming naked.  [eats popcorn] Aw, c'mon, continue!
Come on!  Oh...

And Cherri and Terri becoming friends with Lisa

Isn't it amazing the same day you got a pool is the
same day we realized we liked you?

The Chlorine scene was funny and Millhouse signing Bart's cast Millpool and the weird Jimmy Stewert Character.

Martin: Ah, my plan has come to fruition.  Soon _I'll_ be queen of

summertime.  Er, king.  King!

Bart: Listen, Ned Flanders murdered his wife!
Homer: But why?  She's such a fox.

[Marge scowls at him]
I mean, what's on Fox tonight?


Great end to the episode as well, Frank Sinatra in the background
Martin: Oh.  The gentle caress of the summer breeze.

9.) Lisa's Rival
Season 6
Writer: Mike Scully
What Happened? Another smarter younger student threatens Lisa's place at school and a strange B story with Homer and Sugar.
Why 9? Lisa is not my favorite character, but she works well here interacting with Allison and when asking Bart for help. Simple story again. This is episode 2 of season 6, immediately after Bart of Darkness, just like this list. B story was funny, but weird.

Funny Stuff:
Obvious highlight was the Star Wars action figures and Skinner's reaction

Pre-packaged "Star Wars" characters, still in their display
box?  Are those the limited-edition action figures?


Why it's Luke, and Obi-Wan, and my favorite, Chewie!  They're


all here!  [to Miss Hoover] What do you think?

Hoover: [bored] I think it's lunch time.
Skinner: We have a winner!


And the anagram game
Taylor: Oh, don't be modest.  I'm glad we have someone who can join us
in our anagram game.
Alison: We take proper names and rearrange the letters to form a
description of that person.
Taylor: Like, er...oh, I don't know, uh...Alec Guinness.
Alison: [thinks] Genuine class.
Taylor: Ho ho, very good.  All right, Lisa, um...Jeremy Irons.
Lisa: [looks with consternation] Jeremy's...iron.
Taylor: Mm hmm, well that's...very good...for a first try.  You know
what?  I have a ball.  [pulls one from his pocket] Perhaps you'd
like to bounce it?


Also multiple funny Ralph lines
"My cats name is mittens"
"What's a diorama?"
"My cat's breath smells like cat food."
I bent my Wookie."

Also very funny was the scene with the Beekeepers. Epitome of The Simpsons and how something seemingly normal is made laugh out loud funny. Transcribing this does not do it justice, just watch it and the walking clock bit from Sweet Seymour Skinner
Beekeeper 1: Well, sure is quiet in here today.


Beekeeper 2: Yes, a little too quiet, if you know what I mean.

Beekeeper 1: Hmm...I'm afraid I don't.
Beekeeper 2: You see, bees usually make a lot of noise.  No noise --
suggests no bees!
Beekeeper 1: Oh, I understand now.  Oh look, there goes one now.

Beekeeper 2: To the Beemobile!
Beekeeper 1: You mean your Chevy?
Beekeeper 2: Yes.



The beekeepers track their bees down to Homer's sugar pile.

Beekeeper 1: Well, very clever, Simpson, luring our bees to your sugar
pile and selling them back to us at an inflated price.
Homer: Bees are on the what now?
Beekeeper 2: Simpson, you diabolical...we're willing to pay you $2000
for the swarm.  [starts counting money]
Homer: Deal!

Love in a Time of Scurvy
Classic Homer :

Marge: While you were out "earning" that dollar, you lost forty dollars
by not going to work.  The plant called and said if you don't
come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday.
Homer: Woo hoo!  A four-day weekend.

Lisa: You're younger than me too?
[look worried, starts breathing into her paper lunch bag]
Alison: Are you hyperventilating?
Lisa: No...I just like to smell my lunch.

Diorama-rama
Uter and the chocolate factory
And for some reason, Bart's plan to spray Allison with the hose was great.


8.) 22 Short Films About Springfield

Season 7
Writers: Jeff Appel, David S. Cohen, Jonathan Collier, Jennifer Crittenden, Greg Daniels, Brent Forrester, Rachel Pulido, Steve Tompkins, Josh Weinstein, Bill Oakley, Matt Groening
What Happened? Many things
Why 8? This was the one with many small stories, a Pulp Fiction parody. It had some great parts, but some not so great parts. Not higher because it lacked the sentimentality and emotion of other great episodes.
Funny Stuff:
Very Tall Man
Krusty Burger vs. McDonalds
Maggie in the Newspaper Stand
But I will give you what you want, or at least what I want....Steamed Hams!

If written many times that something was one of my favorite skits or gags or lines or scenes, but here is my alltime favorite Simpsons scene.

Elsewhere in Springfield, Superintendent Chalmers walks up to the

door of a neatly-kept house.  Principal Skinner greets him there.
Chalmers just grunts as the two men go inside.  Skinner heads for
the kitchen, where he notices smoke billowing out from the stove.

The worst has happened -- the roast he has prepared is burnt.

Skinner, however,
 has an ace up his sleeve.  He plans to purchase
fast food from the Krusty Burger across the street and pass it as his
own cooking.  Skinner starts to climb out the window when Chalmers
suddenly comes into the kitchen.

Chalmers: Seymour!

Skinner: Superintendent; I was just, uh, just stretching my calves on
the windowsill.  Isometric exercise.  Care to join me?
Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Skinner: Uh, oh, that isn't smoke, it's steam.  Steam from the steamed
clams we're having.  [rubs stomach] Mmm -- steamed clams.

Either Chalmers is satisfied with this explanation, or decides not
to pursue the matter further.  In any case, he goes back to the
dining room.  Skinner jumps out the window and runs over to the
Krusty Burger after Chalmers leaves.

A few minutes later, Skinner makes an entrance the dining room
carrying a big platter of Krusty Burgers.

Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering
hamburgers.
Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Skinner: Oh, no, I said, "steamed hams."  That's what I call
hamburgers.
Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams.
Skinner: Yes, it's a regional dialect.
Chalmers: Uh-huh.  What region?
Skinner: Uh, upstate New York.
Chalmers: Really.  Well, I'm from Utica and I never heard anyone use
the phrase, "steamed hams."
Skinner: Oh, not in Utica, no; it's an Albany expression.
Chalmers: I see.

Chalmers suspends his disbelief long enough to enjoy some of
Skinner's steamed hams.

Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones the
have at Krusty Burger.
Skinner: [laughs]  Oh, no, patented Skinner Burgers.  Old family
recipe.
Chalmers: For steamed hams.
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that
they are obviously grilled.  [shows Skinner the grill marks]
Skinner: Uh ... you know ... one thing I sh-- ... 'scuse me for one
second.
Chalmers: Of course.


Skinner retires to the kitchen for a second.  When he walks back
into the dining room, we can see that the entire kitchen is in
flames.

Skinner: [faking a yawn] Well, that was wonderful.  Good time was had
by all.  I'm pooped.
Chalmers: Yes, I guess I should be --
[notes entire kitchen is on fire]
Good Lord, what is happening in there?
Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Chalmers: Aurora Borealis?  At this time of year?  A this time of day?
In this part of the country?  Localized entirely within your
kitchen?
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: May I see it?
Skinner: Oh, erm... No.

Awesome

7.) Marge vs. the Monorail

Season 4
Writer: Conan O'Brien
What Happens? You know this one. Mono= One Rail = Rail
Town gets money from Burns for nuclear waste dumping. Gets swindled by Lyle Langley (Phil Hartman into building a monorail. He skims tons off the top and the monorail doesn't work, but Homer and Leonard Nimoy? save the day
Why 7? Classic episode, lots of great lines. Large town scene, again with ideas of what to do with a large amount of money. A couple of slow scenes in the second half though prevent it from being higher and lots of great one liners, but not extended gags.
Funny Stuff: lots
"I call the big one Bitey."
"Batman was a scientist"

Do you want to change your name to Homer, Junior?


The kids can call you Ho-Ju!

Marge: We're too late!
Cobb:  I  have stopped for that haircut.  Sorry.

`Solar power.  When will people learn?

You call that an anchor?

No fat chicks
Homer trying to seduce Marge was hilarious. Another one that can't be transcribed. Check it out.


6.) Homer at the Bat

Season 3
Writer: John Swartzwelder
What happened? Mr. Burns had a million dollar bet on te plant softball team, so he hired ringers to play. Ever player save one had a strange incident or accident that left them unable to play. The only one able to play was Daryl Strawberry, who played Homer's position. In the end, with the game tied, Mr. Burn's played the percentages and took Strawberry out in favor of Homer, who was hit by a pitch and brought in the winning run.
Why 6? I think this is the first episode of the Simpsons that everyon remembered. It was also the first one to beat The Cosby Show in the Thursday timeslot. So many baseball players. I love it.
What happened to the players:
Ozzie Smith: Wonder Spot
Jose Canseco: Retriving every possible thing for the woman from the burning house
Mike Scioscia: radiation sickness, LOVED working in the plant
Steve Sax: pulled over and jailed by Chief Wiggumand charged with every unsolved crime in NYC
Roger Clemens: hypnotized into thinking he was a chicken
Ken Griffey Jr.: Too much growth tonic
Wade Boggs: knocked out by Barney in a bar fight over who was the best Prime Minister of England
Don Mattingly: My favorite - kicked off by Burns for not shaving his nonexistent sideburns

Ralph picking his team against Bart was also funny
Daryl Daryl!


5.) Bart's Comet

Season 6
Writer: John Swartzwelder
What happened? Bart gets detention for a prank on Skinner and has to star gaze with him. Bar t finds a comet heading for earth, specifically Springfield. Everyone goes in Flanders' bomb shelter and eventually kick him out. Homer feels bad and leaves too and everyone follows him. The comet ends up burning up in the atmosphere and everyone is fine, just as Homer predicted. Dun-dun
Why #5? Great episode from beginning to end. It incorporates most of the town and shows Homer's good side, which is seen too infrequently.
Funny Stuff:
The following people are gay thing was funny
Another one of my alltime favorite scenes here:

Moe: Hey, uh, I got an idea: we can play a game to pass the time.
Er, I'll make the sound of a barnyard animal, and, er, you



all try to guess what it is.  

Ahem: [makes some

unidentifiable noise]Wiggum: It's a pig!

Bart: It's a cow, man.
Lisa: It's a pony.
Krusty: No, it's a goat.  You know, one of them lady goats.
Selma: There are no lady goats: a lady goat is a sheep.
Hibbert: I believe she's right.
Otto: You're crazy.

McAllister: Arr, what's it to you?
Otto: What's it to _me_?
[everyone starts arguing]
Marge: Stop it!  Stop it!  Can't you see this barnyard noise
guessing game is tearing us apart?
[Ned still sings "Que Sera, Sera" outside]

Say, Moe, was it a duck?
[everyone argues again]

Homer: Shut up!  Shut up!  Stop it!  Stop it.  I can't take this any

more.  I can't let that brave man out there die alone.  I'm
surprised and disgusted by all of you -- especially his
children.  I'm going out there!
[goes out, slams door behind him]
[pops his head back in] It was a baby ox.
Moe: He's right, you know.
Skinner: [surprised] About the ox?
Moe: About everything, dammit.

I am called Ham, because I enjoy ham radio.  This is Email...
Cosine...Report Card...Database...and Lisa.  Your nickname
will be Cosmos.

Quimby: Now, here's what we think the impact might look like.  Show
them, Jerry.
[first slide shows arrows pointing to "Springfield" and the
"Comet"]
[second slide shows collision of two and an arrow pointing to
       "Moe's"]
Moe: Oh, dear God, no!
[third slide shows smoking crater with arrows pointing to
"Charred Bodies"]
Quimby: Fortunately we have a plan: Professor Frink?
Frink: Nn-hey, good evening, ladies and --
Man: [hysterical] Quit stalling!  What's the plan?
Frink: All right, just take your seat, just take your seat.
[pulls a sheet off a model of the city]
Now, working with former Carter Administration officials and
military men who were forced into early retirement for various
reasons which we won't go into here, nn-hey, we have planned
this defense for the city: [flicks a switch] as the comet
hurtles towards the city, our rocket will intercept it and blow
it to smithereens.
[little models of the comet and rocket demonstrate]
[the comet explodes and catches "Moe's" on fire]
Moe: Oh, dear God, no!

Lisa: It blew up the bridge!  We're doomed.
Homer: It's times like this I wish I were a religious man.
Lovejoy: [running down the street] It's all over, people!  We don't have
a prayer, argh.

 Ned: I might go mad with fear out there, so Todd, I want you to shoot
Daddy if he tries to get back in.
Todd: OK, Dad.  [weeps]

4.) Brother from the Same Planet
Season 4

Writer: Jon Vitti
What happened? Homer forgot to pick up Bart from soccer practice. It rained, Bart got mad and got a Big Brother Tom, again voiced by the late great Phil Hartman (damn his crazy, crazy wife) Homer then got a little brother to get even. Hilarity ensues.
Why #4? I don't think this episode is very high on many people's list, but it is again great from start to finish. There is no let down. The B story with Lisa on the Cory-line isn't the best, but the Bart/Homer/Tom/Pepi story is priceless. It is also very simple and believable. But it is sometimes these unassuming, less frequently seen eps that are the best.
Funny Stuff:
The episode starts with Nelson smoking at soccer practice, a good start indeed.
Next we have Homer forgetting to pick up Bart and ignoring all the signs.
Wheel of fortune puzzle "I'm on my way"
Millhouse writes trad pu kcip
Bart Starr
dog barks "Bart"
Maggie burps "Bart"
Pick a bar?
And then Homer's dream where Bart is dead is pretty nice too

And then he leaves immediately out of the bath.
Lisa "Dad, hide your shame."
Flanders "Hey Homer, I can see your doodle."
SNL spoof - "The Big Ear Family" and another Joe Piscopo reference
The Isotopes have "Tomato Day" and speaking before the game is the head of the Springfield Communist Party.
After Bart shows the ray gun at show and tell Millhouse "I have a horsey....Nayy, naay...."
Possibly the Best Itchy and Scratchy

You're not the  one who can abuse a non-profit organization!

Must you be forever
 dialing that phone! Lisa

And the best "That's when it's time to kick some back!"
-Homer-

3.) Rosebud

Season 5
Writer: John Swartzwelder
What happened? Citizen Kane parody with Mr. Burns' lost bear Bobo
Why #3? Wow, so much stuff, so many gags. I think that is a critique of this episode, but I love it. I can't get enough. With other episodes on the list, I had to rewatch them to get some more quotes, I mean some stuff is obvious like "Boo-urns" and "kick some back" and "Steamed hams" but with these last 3 episodes, I remember all the gags. Brilliant stuff.
Funny Stuff:
Where to begin? I can't possibly write it all or give justice to the humor.
Here is a good way to try, though, just the classics

I have some sad news to report: a small puppy, not unlike Lassie, was
just run over in the parking lot.

[Audience gasps]
And now it's time for the comedy stylings of Homer Simpson!

Homer makes a triumphant entrance, but he is greeted with silence.


Homer: [exaggeratedly loud] Are you ready to laugh?
Man: Poor dog.

Homer: I said, are you ready to laugh?
Woman: Quiet, you awful man.


Smithers: [dressed in a bear suit] Here's something that should cheer
you up, sir.  It's me, sir: Bobo!  Hug me!  Squeeze me!
[suggestively] Tug at my fur...

Apu: Chock full of heady goodness

Homer: Mmm...sixty four slices of American cheese.
[Takes the stack to the table and sits down]
Sixty four...[eats it]

Sixty three...[eats it]
[Next morning]
Two...[eats it really slowly]
One...[eats it]
    [Marge walks in]
Marge: [incredulous] Have you been up all night eating cheese?
Homer: [slurred] I think I'm blind...

The end gag in the future is priceless too. Just watch this ep.

2.) Last Exit to Springfield
Season 4
Writer: Jay Kogen and Wallace Wolodarsky
What happened? Lisa needs brace (Dental Plan) Homer becomes head of the union and Burns tries to take away the dental plan. Homer leads the plant to strike. In the end, the workers get back their dental plan if Homer quits as union head, and he obviously does.
Why #2? Classic, classic episode. This one has an incredible amount of gags and quotes like Rosebud, but has a much strong, coherent story line which all the gags come from. Amazing stuff!
Funny stuff:
Where to start?
Dentist office was all funny, both with Lisa and Ralph
Homer's scar from the strike of '88. "I want a burrito! I want a burrito!"

  Lenny: So long, dental plan!
Homer: [thinks...]
Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny's voice: Dental plan!

Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.

Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
Chuckie: [as a prank, drops a pencil into the crack of Homer's butt]
Carla: Bull's-eye!
Homer: Thanks a lot, Carl.  Now I lost my train of throught.
Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
Homer: If we give up our dental plan... ... ...


Burns: We don't have to be adversaries, Homer.
We both want a fair union contract.
Homer: [thinking]  Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
Burns: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Homer: [thinking]  Wait a minute.  Is he coming onto me?
Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?
Homer: [thinking]  My God!  He  coming onto me!
Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows.
[chuckle]  [wink]
Homer: [thinking] Aaaaaagh!
[aloud]
Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans.
Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious,
      but the answer is no!
I'll have to pay for Lisa's braces!

Bathroom gag was great and the ping-pong table in the leaky basement
don't forget picture day at school
Homer on the talk show
two-headed dog with frisbee
Classical Gas
back door to the super-secret room
I could go on and on, but seeing the real episode would be much better
ok, one more

"This is a thousand monkeys working at a thousand typewriters. Soon, they'll have written the greatest novel known to mankind. (reads one of the typewriters) "It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times"?! you stupid monkey! (monkey screeches) Oh, shut up."



1.) $pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)

Season 5
Writer: Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein
What happened? Springfield decides to increase revunue and noteability by building a casino. Homer works there, Mr Burn's goes whacko, Marge gets addicted to gambling and the family suffers, and Bart maes his own treehouse casino.
Why #1? This my not be the most expected choice, but I love it. It has laugh out loud and chuckle moments, lots of character appearences, crazy stuff, a great storyline, and the sense of the Simpsons as a family, flawed, but still together in the end. I feel this episode was hilarious (even moreso than the previous two) when I first saw it back in 1993, when I saw reruns when in high school, when I bought the DVD in college, and when I watch it today. Now that is the hallmark of a great episode. Despite what others may say, I stand by this as number 1
Funny Stuff:
So much again, a few of my favorites

Homer: Anyone lose their glasses?  [no one answers]
Last chance!  [still no one answers]
Woo-hoo!
[Homer fishes the glasses out of the toilet.  He puts them on]
The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles
triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.
Man: That's a _right_ triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

My second favorite Simpsons scene, after Steamed Hams:

Lisa: Mom!
Homer: Huh -- wha -- Lisa!  What's up?
Lisa: I just had a bad dream!
Homer: Oh, sure.  You just lie down and tell me all about it.
Lisa: Well, I know it's absurd, but I dreamed the bogeyman was after
me, and he's hiding under --
Homer: Aah!  Bogeyman!  You nail the windows shut, I'll get the gun!
-- So much for parental guidance, "$pringfield"

Homer runs into Bart's room: "Bart, I don't want to alarm you, but there
may be a bogeyman or bogeymen in the house!"

Marge arrives home, squealing the tires as she stops in the driveway.
She gets to the front door and sees a hole has been torn through it, and
that chairs and other objects have been stacked against the knob.  When
she opens it, Homer peeks up from behind a bent-over mattress on the
floor, aiming the shotgun at her and quivering.  Bart, Lisa, and Maggie
look over at Marge, and everyone sighs with relief.

Marge: What happened here?
Homer: Oh, nothing, Marge.  Just a little incident involving the
bogeyman!


Another Great one

Homer: Hello, Florida!  [tapes an orange to her, but it falls off]
Lisa: [gasps] I'm not a state, I'm a monster!  [sobs]
Homer: [wipes a tear away] No, Lisa.  The only monster here is the
gambling monster that has enslaved your mother!  I call him
Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

And all the casino gags were great too
The fake Sigfred and Roy getting attacked by their tiger. WOW
Bond spoof
Rain Man spoof
Barney burping up coins

 [Barney watches Marge gamble]
Barney: Man, that's classic compulsive behavior.
[Sees a waitress holding a tray with three cups on it]
Wow, free beer!
[He chugs all three]
Man: Buddy, those are my quarters!
[Barney burps up some quarters]
Woman: This guy's paying off!

Homer running through the casino and giving everyone good luck.

 Man: A baby on the table!  That's good luck!
Everyone: Yay!
[The man throws the dice, and they come up double one]
Croupier: Snake-eyes.  Sorry.
Everyone: Boo!

Bart's Casino

Goulet: Are you sure this is the casino?  I think I should call my
manager.
Nelson: Your manager says for you to shut up!
Goulet: _Vera_ said that?  Hmph.

I remember this one I had to use the pause button and close captioning to see what Homer said at the end, that's how disgusted he was.

 Lisa: There's nothing to eat for breakfast.
Homer: You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie
crust --
Lisa: Maybe mom just doesn't realize we missed her.  We could go down
to the casino and let her know...
Homer: Oh, come on, Lisa, there's no reason to -- [takes a bite] --
let's go see Mom now.

Crazy Burns

Burns: Aw, my beloved plant.  How I miss her -- bah!  To hell with
this.  Get my razors!  Draw a bath!  Get these kleenex boxes
off my feet.
Smithers: Certainly, sir.  And, uh, the jars of urine?
Burns: Oh, we'll hang onto those.  Now, to the plant!  We'll take the
Spruce Moose.  [picks up the model] Hop in!
Smithers: But, sir --
Burns: [pointing a gun] I said, hop in.

Skinner: And special awards go to the two students who obviously had no
help from their parents: Lisa Simpson and Ralph Wiggum.
Ralph: I'm Idaho!
Skinner: Yes, of course you are.

A Great line to end the list with.

Homer: [grabbing Marge] Yer gotta redda kid forrad yarrar!
Marge: Homer, what is it?  Slow down!
Homer: [slowly] J'yer gedda ferda redderarrar.
Marge: Think before you say each word.

Homer: You broke a promise to your child.
Marge: What?
Homer: You promised Lisa to help her with her costume.  You made her
cry.  Then I cried.  Then Maggie laughed -- she's such a little
trooper.

And that is all folks. The end of the list. Wow! Lots of episodes, lots of laughs. The Simpsons is great. The best show of my time. It's been a good time writing this list. I know there are some many good episodes, it is very hard to rank them, even in tier form. Much of it comes down to personal preference. But we can all agree, it is the combination of the humor, the story telling, the absurb, the intelligent, and the sense of family that makes The Simpsons Great.
The show is now a huge part of American pop culture and maybe even culture.
Right Mr. Hutz?

Oh, sure, like lawyers work in big skyscrapers and have
secretaries. Look at him! He's wearing a belt.
[wistfully] That's Hollywood for ya.