Shaq Disses Kobe

So, Shaq dissed Kobe via a mad freestyle. Ok, it wasn't really that mad, or that great of a freestyle. One friends said he knew Shaq was a terrible rapper because he could understand everything he said. Well, I'm not too concerned about the rap, but this great Shaq quote explaining it.
"Everyone that knows Shaq knows two things about me: One, that I'm a rapper, and two, that I'm a comedian."

Priceless. Another great Shaq sound bite. Nothing about being a dominant basketball player? And I would go three, Great in Pinball form. And I know Shaq. (When creating this blog, I did not anticipate all the Shaq posts, but he is a great man.)

Big Hurt

So, I'm sure you remember my quest for Shaq Attaq pinball, and the devastating pain it caused me when I could not attain it. Well, I found something very similarly mid-90's, "Big Hurt Pinball". Yes that is the Big Hurt, Frank Thomas.


It looks pretty nice, with lightning bolts and fire and the possibility of making the World Series. Ooh. Frank Thomas still can knock the ball out of the park, but that's about all he's good for. Looks like a quality game, but definitely no Shaq Attaq.

LOTR/STAR WARS FINAL

The time has finally come. We can see who is the greatest character in the Lord of the Rings/Star Wars Universe. It has been an epic battle. We started with 64- contestants and are now down to two. It will be "One Shining Moment" for Gandalf or Han Solo.
You know the drill. Vote!


Gandalf- Gandalf has defeated Uncle Owen, R2-D2, Leia, Chewie, and Amidala
White
Might be a god
Likes to smoke

Han- Defeated Mon Mothma, Lando, Anakin, Sam, and Vader.
Dashing
Owes people money
Harrison Ford


There you go. Choose the one who will go down in history.

More Pleasing to the Eye

So after yesterday's post, and after a friend of mine said this of my blog " The other day I thought I stumbled across a softcore male porn site" (that is an overstatement, but there are a lot of pictures of dudes here, I mean the Jean-Claude Van Damme picture is kind of weird, and the shirtless superheroes, well....but most of the pictures are of athletes, so I think that's fine), I thought I'd post a picture for all my male readers out there. Some nice eye-candy.


Here's Adriana Lima. And I did not choose her randomly. She recently got engaged to Mario Jaric or the Minnesota Timberwolves. (see below) I don't get it. And she's a virgin. Wow.
There you go Andy, enjoy.

Soccer player facial scars

Well, I watch a lot of European football (soccer). My friends and I noticed that some excellent players have rather blatant facial scars, and I'm not talking about pock-marked like Mark McGuire, I'm talking legitimate, disfiguring scars. I saw the most obvious one today when watching France. Before the game I told my brother that this players hideous face would lead France to victory. Unfortunately, he got injured in the 10th minute. Anyway, here are my Top 3 soccer facial scars. Yes, a very random list to have, but you'll understand after seeing it.


#3 Carlos Tevez-
Scar- burn marks on neck and chest.
Story behind scar- Tévez has a distinctive burn mark from his right ear, down his neck to his chest. This occurred when he was ten months old while he was exploring his mother’s kitchen floor and he inadvertently pulled a kettle of boiling water over himself. This caused third-degree burns to the right side of his face, neck and chest and left him in intensive care for almost two months. Today, the scars are a highly visible feature of Tévez, who did not get them fixed because he was playing in a junior football team. He refused an offer from his then club, Boca Juniors, to have them cosmetically improved, saying that the scars were a part of who he was in the past and who he is today.
My take- Pretty gross, but not that bad. I feel it may not be the first thing you see. If you saw him on the street you would not turn away in disgust.

#2 Jolean Lescott-
scar- forehead and hairline
story- not as clear on this one- car accident when we was about 5 years old, apparently got run over.
my take- At first I thought he might just have a strange hair style, but that's a scar. I also affectionately call him flat-top, as he is the player of the year for my favorite team Everton. He looks weird, but plays very, very well. He scores a lot of headers, so the scar produces no ill effects.

#1 Franck Ribery-
scar- entire right side of face
story- When Ribéry was two years old, he and his family were involved in a serious automobile accident in Boulogne-sur-Mer, in which his face got trapped within the door, leaving two long scars down the right side of his face.
My take- From far away it looks like a horrible hairstyle, from up close, it's pretty scary. I could just imagine approaching him from the back or normal side, and then him turning around. I think it would be much like when Billy Madison figure out what it meant when his buddy had an accident. "Gooooooooo" Pretty hideous indeed. He is the aforementioned player if you did not yet figure that out. Still an amazing player, though, and he has a decent looking wife.


There you go, another meaningless list. Maybe I'll try to post something more ascetically pleasing next time.

Slow

Sorry I've been slow with the updates lately. I've recently moved off the ranch, so I only have internet when I'm at work. Now that hasn't stopped me from posting in the past, but it doesn't really lend itself to quality, time-consuming posts.
Hopefully sometime this week I can upload some pictures of my time in Montana and of my new house/power hour party.

Just to hold you over for a while, here are some great quotes from Kobe Bryant. He's undoubtedly a great player, but I'm not a big fan of his. These quotes might help to change that. He's definitely keeping it real, and maybe a little weird.



Talking after the 24-point lead collapse Thursday and how to get over it: "Whine about it tonight. A lot of wine, lotta beer. A coupla shots.. Maybe like 20 of ‘em.. Digest it.. Get back to work tomorrow. Nothing you can do."

Still talking about it the next morning: "Nothing we just wet the bed. A nice big one too. One of the ones you can’t put a towel over. It’s terrible. There’s nothing you can do about it. They played great in the third quarter, we played like crap. They got back in the game and pulled out a great win, now it’s time to move on to the next one. Period."
(Maybe he really did have 20 shots)

Talking about Harry Potter: "He had more problems with Voldemort than we have dealing with the media after a loss"
(nice way to put it all into perspective Kobe)

Yeah, so good stuff. It is possible that Kobe is a little nuts.

Political Super Action Stars

A while back when I asked for blog ideas, a friend of mine suggested that, in the wake of people like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura becoming governors and basketball players like Charles Barkley and Kevin Johnson rumored to be running for political office, I should develop a list of political positions for action stars and athletes. Sound good? Make sense? Well here it goes.

Future Political Positions of action stars and athletes:

Shaq- Obviously Shaq will someday be president. He is already a police officer and a great, great man (especially in pinball form)

Jean-Claude Van Damme- Well, this one is kind of a comparison to Arnold. I had trouble deciding which state Van Damme should be governor of. Maybe New York, Wyoming, Kansas, but none of those seem to fit. I'm gonna go with Arizona. I just feel there could be many great explosions and car chases in Phoenix and a great scene at the Grand Canyon, culminating in Jean-Claude leaping over the entire canyon.

Matt Damon- White House Press Secretary - I feel everyone would listen to Damon and never be mad at him. We would believe everything the White House gives us. Plus, if people would act up, he could go all Boure on them.

Will Smith- VP for John McCain. I really feel like this is a good idea. Just think, Will Smith is like Obama but better in every way. Younger, blacker, stronger, more charismatic, better smile, loved by all Americans. Mr. McCain, you should really think about this one.

Johnny Depp- Governor of Vermont. Depp is a huge hippie, hates America, would fit in great in Vermont, and no one else in the country would really care because it's Vermont. YEEEAAAAA!

Tony Gwynn/Mike Tyson/Avery Johnson/Dikembe Mutombo- Speaker of the House.
I'm just going on quality of voice here. Any of these men would greatly increase the ratings of CSPAN. I know I would tune in just for the comedic entertainment

Harrison Ford- Sec. of Defense. Would any other nation F-with Harrison Ford as our Sec. of Defense? He is Indiana Jones and Han Solo and in all those Tom Clancy movies.

Chuck Norris- Military. If you got Chuck Norris, you need not any other military.

Lucy Liu - I felt like I should have a woman, and she seems cool, and I kind of felt the need to counter act those first two pictures. I'm not sure what she would be, though. Health and Human Services?

Rob Deer- I'm gonna go with mayor of Milwaukee, because I don't think anyone else knows him.


My brain and creativity really isn't working today. This is all I got.

Toni Brown?

Did anyone see my alter ego yesterday in Euro 2008?

I'm speaking of Luca Toni of course. We are pretty much the same person. And by the same person, I mean the total opposite, except for the name that is. He's tall dark and handsome, and as my friend described me, I'm "not as tall, a bit lighter, and slightly less handsome." Yeah, I think that's a good description.
We get to see the first half of the second game on our lunch break and many of my co-workers are excited to see me (Toni) out on the pitch again.
I'm looking for Portugal to win it all, but Germany may have something to say about that.

I wish I was more like Vinny Del Negro

It's great to see my former man-crush Vinny Del Negro turn up in the news. It was funny when it came up on the ESPN ticker, certain things just catch your eye- Milwaukee, soccer, and Vinny Del Negro. Vinny is going to become the head coach of the Chicago Bulls. Now why couldn't the Bucks get him?
For those of you that don't remember, Del Negro was a former NBA player for the Spurs, Bucks, and Suns among others, know for his silky smooth good looks and shooting. He always seemed tou torch the Bucks, and I was happy to see him join our team. He was proclaimed "the master of the clutch inbounds pass". I can remember at least three occasions where his late game inbounds pass led to a Milwaukee victory. And don't forget the great hair and constant 5 o'clock shadow. He was an inspiration for white boys everywhere. To this day, his is the only basketball jersey I have ever owned.
So Vinny, I wish you good luck in Chicago. It will be fun to see you a few times a year.

Shirtless Super Heroes

So a friend of mine and I were talking about stamps today and started on the stamp I gave him a few weeks ago. (Below)
And then we started on shirtless super heroes and their homosexual natural. I was going to make a list of the Best Shirtless Super Heroes (Sub-Mariner, Hulk, and He-Man instantly came to mind) But then I came across this site - http://shirtless-superheroes.blogspot.com/
And wow, it's pretty gay. I'm not one to use that word often, especially with it meaning negative, but just check it out. It's all pictures of Super-Heroes without their costumes on, often times in the shower, in bed, or having their wounds mended. Weird. Plus this is different than what I was going for. I was thinking for Super-Heroes that never wear a shirt, their costume is pretty much the state of being shirtless. Yeah, but I don't think there's a need for more documentation of shirtless super-heroes. Right?
Just in case you haven't had enough, I'll leave you with this.

Mario Kart Update

So I wrote a post on Mario Kart a few months ago. Things were pretty slow when I first got it, because the other players weren't too good, but the circuit has heated up over the past month, with other people that really like to play. We play at lunch, we play after work, we play after some drinks. We've had tournaments and even have developed player rankings. Yes. And today one player went as far as to analyze each player on the "circuit". So enjoy this guest write. Hopefully it'll be funny even though you don't know the people written about. (this post is probably rated-R)



After checking with a fellow associate in Matthew Grubbman he gave me the "go ahead" to be basically bring out my inner Chris Beers/ pretentious arrogant asshole and do a little write up on the pros and cons of all of you as racers in the wonderful world of Mario Kart 64. I hope that you do not take offense to what I write in the following summary. Take it as advice so that one day, you might be able to say you're as good as me. Do you need me to solve problems?! (Chris voice) Ok lets start with the bad...because lets face it, you guys suck, and have way to much potential to be at the bottom of the MK64 Totem Pole.

Joel, I'm sorry but you are in fact the number one loser at Mario Kart. Why you might ask? I'll tell you why. You are way too concerned with the next fucking sandwich that you're going to put in the god damn toaster oven. Lay off the freaking delicious Ham and Cheeses that you concoct during your race break time and start putting some more focus on the game rather than feeding your skinny belly. (FYI Joel whenever you make one of those delicious sandwiches i want one, and it distracts me from my gaming, so this could be a nice little trick tactic on your part, although I highly doubt it is.) Joel, here is what you have going for you. You are the ultimate candidate for an MK64 Spoiler Master. You normally hold the 4th place position for most races, that means you're just one place away from destroying the hopes for that d-bag in 3rd to be able to play again in the next race. Focus on the course and hitting all the boxes (that is for both woman box and mario kart box) the weapons you get will be your ticket into getting into the next race! Huzzah Joel!

Alex, thats right, you're the next worst. Sorry bud, but its true. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that you simply have not braved the cold basement enough to truly prove yourself in the circuit. You talk a huge fucking game too. I'm sorry if I'm sounding harsh, but its true. If i hear you say one more god damn time "that would've won that race had i had another character" i'm gonna would've should've throw you off the fucking Royal Raceway Mega Jump. Shut up, play the game, and you'll easily pass grubbman for the next spot. (i know that was a huge spoiler that Grubbfest is next on the list.) Alex, the bashing stops here. You have great potential my friend. You've beaten me a couple times, which i give you kudos for. Well done, pat yourself on the back. Ok you can stop now. Your player should ALWAYS be Toad. I feel that you do quite well with that whiny little mushroom hat fuck. Work on your control on the course, and you'll be all set. Sky is the limit my friendly jolly giant! Huzzah

Matt Grubbman. What can i say. Your biggest con is your persistent need to settle for fucking 2nd and 3rd place. Seriously, what the FUCK is that shit? That like saying, wowzers i have the the guaranteed opportunity to bang Jessica Alba, but also could bang Rosanne Bar instead, so i'll settle for that. Stop being a moron and go for the gold for christ sake. (fyi your people did in christ.) Get your head out of your ass and start playing harder, or Alex will be passing you in no time. Pros- Grubby, you had some excellent races today. You beat me at K. Desert. Pat yourself on the back...and keep patting for awhile. That is a huge accomplishment, and you should be quite proud! Think of that moment, channel the positivity and improve at this wonderful game. You have the potential amigo!

Tony/Martin--- This is a very very hard situation for me. You both pose problems for me quite often you annoying fucks. Right now, i'm swinging that Martin still has the advantage...sorry Tony, but you're up.

Tony- You little bitch. learn how to drive on the final lap already! You f'n do so well, and always find a way to manage to fuck things up in the end. Get a grip on that last turn retard. It's not like you don't know how the course goes. For fucks sake we've been playing this shit for years, and further more, its your game and system to begin with! Take a breath, settle your shit, and you have the very good chance of being better then Marty, or at least his equal. Pros- Tony, you're a great MK 64 racer. I always find trouble with you during most parts of the game. I suggest you focus on your slides a bit more, and be more patient at the end. It'll do wonders for your gaming. A few more races, and i see you and Marty being in for a huge huge rivalry. Huzzah for Tony!

Martin, you're up next. Marting, they're isn't much that i have to criticise when it comes to you. You have good control for the game, but at times i feel that you let your emotions get in the way. At times you get a little to flustered and sometimes give up. Just 2 days ago i had the lead on you in Royal Raceway and i messed up. During that time i only had a slight lead on you, yet your dumb ass had already put down the controller and called it quits. Easy there Vince Carter. Play to the end and you could've had the "W" Martin your strengths have really come out lately. You have gotten your slides down a lot better. I feel that you're only using the slide at half the amount you could be at. Those extra bursts really add up in the end, and they would benefit you greatly. Once you get that down you'll be at Clarks level. Huzzah to Martin!

Clark- that's right, time for you. Lets all give a round of applause for Clark being that number two mario kart player in our Conference! HUZZAH! Clark, you are a spot on racer. You do well down the stretch and don't pull Busch league maneuvers like Tony on the final turn, bone headed retard moves like Joel's racing in general, and do not complain like a fuck stick in Alex during, or at the end of a loss. You maintain your composure for the most part. Job well done. How do you get as good as me. Slides, Slides, Slides. Much like i told martin, you emphasis HAS TO BE ON THIS MANEUVER. Normally when i beat your ass at this game its because of this simple yet tough to do task.

Brendan- You are obviously the best in the conference. keep up the good work. Your main flaw is quite frankly being an idiot while driving. Sometimes you focus on the slide too much, thus causing you to look like a drunk dinosaur on the track. Get your head out of your ass, and start racing 100% of the time as well. Matt Grubbman pointed out something to you today when you were totally being a douchebag in talking to others while racing. That alone gave you the 3rd place finish on K. Desert you fuck stick. Focus, drive right, and for christ sake dont' turn around when you miss a box, you're not that good to do that asshole! Ok well that about sums it up. I hope you have enjoyed my take on your driving in Mario Kart 64! Please remember that the attitude i have displayed in this e-mail was supposed to be as standoff and dickish as possible. Happy Driving dickbags! Your Friend, Brendan
ps- I expect an e-mail back from all of you cock smokes. my hands are literally about to fall off.


And then here was my reply:

Nice work Brendan. I have to say that your composition of this email show some pros/cons in your character. Pros: very funny Cons: can sometimes be a dick I fear we may soon be some of those losers who post video games on youtube.

How about some criticism for Martin's tendency to just stay in his room and never play with us anymore?
Grubman killed Jesus!
Joel does provide much entertainment. I feel I did a much better job in not letting the sandwich distract me.
Alex you should try to take advantage of us one night when we are all drunk and you are sober. I'm strictly speaking in terms of Mario Kart, except maybe for Brendan. He's been a little cranky lately and needs some loving.
Martin, you should take off your shirt when you play. It seems to help you in all other aspects of life.
Clark, pretend your drive back to Maryland is one giant Kart race.


Comparison to NFL teams:
Brendan: Patriots (sorry) dominant team, others love to hate. You cheat (not really) but when you put it all together, it is a good thing to watch.
Clark: Steelers - nothing flashy, hard work and consistency gets you near the top often, but any championship will be a fluke and a one-off.
Party: Seahawks - good team, fun to watch, but just doesn't have the goods to win it all. At least you aren't bald like Matt Hasselback.
Tony: Saints: lots of potential, tendency to surprise the big boys, but terribly inconstant. Also a tendency to be distracted by the opposite sex (i.e. Hurricane Katrina)
Grubby: Bengals- happy with an 8-8 season, troubles with the law, spooning with gay men, but fun to watch
Alex: Broncos- team with some young talent, may even sneak into the playoffs once in a while, but really "The Denver Broncos"
Joel: Cardinals- others love to play you, flashy and young, easy to beat, but you still seem to have fun, like Matt Leinart

And don't make me even get on you fucks about tennis, or in Joel's case his stupid rainbow shoes. I don't wanna tear anyone a new one. Actually, I should put that on my agenda for tomorrow. That's all I got for today.


Yes, good things. I hope you enjoyed.

P.S. sometimes work is boring, so we need to do things like this to liven it up.

Kool-Aid

Is it wrong that I'm 24 years-old and still get excited about Kool-Aid? I hope not.
Kool-Aid is still great. It got me through many a summer. It got me through some lean financial years in college. It helped nurse me through many post-drinking-deathly-dry-throat-mornings. I even kept it real through my hating on Kool-Aid roommates during my volunteer year. I thought that this year, living at a ranch in Montana, would be prime Kool-Aid drinking days. But that is not the case. Lots of crystal-lite. Shoot. Until yesterday. I was entrusted with the company card to pick up some food, and came back with the capabilities to make 10 gallons of Kool-Aid. Yes. And I'd say 90% of the people I live with were genuinely happy with this purchase. I do it for the kids.
Best Flavors: I think it old school - orange, grape, tropical punch or orange, purple, red if you like.
Kids: keep it real, drink Kool-Aid, and as much sugar as you want.
Parents: Give your kids the good stuff. Look how great we turned out.
Tip: don't go with imitation. It has to be Kool-Aid. Wylers or Roundies or whatever, not even close to the same.
That's my wisdom for the day.

STAR WARS/LOTR Final Four

Sorry it's been while. There was a large influx of votes from the state of California (really) that made things interesting. But our Final Four is set. This is big





Gandalf- faced a tough, tough battle against Chewie. I'd have to say he is the favorite in this match.

Padme Amidala- The 10 seed has made it to the Final Four. wow. Who would have thought? The upsets just kept coming - Boromir, Yoda, Wicket (well) and now Aragorn. Huge upset. Can she keep it going?



Han Solo - Han has faced tough competition, but has recored more than 70% of the vote each time, looking to take it all.

Darth Vader- It's Darth Vader. I don't need to say much more.

Indiana Jones Movie Review

I saw IJATKOTCS yesterday as I was calling it early in the week, but after seeing it, I now know it is not worthy of an acronym.


It was disappointing. It was also entertaining. It started well. The beginning scene was classic Indy. There was mystery, you really wanted to know what was going on and what was going to happen. There scenes between Harrison Ford and Shia LaBeouf were all pretty quality. There was some chemistry there. You had the classic Indiana Jones figuring out the mystery and then the classic Indy flying/map scene. But then the movie started to go downhill - crazy grave protectors, vine-swinging, monkeys, sword fighting, giant fire ants, snake-rope, aliens (inter-dimensional beings) more grave protectors. I could keep going. Lame ending. I'll let you check it out for yourself. The chase scenes and fight scenes were too long and unbelievable. In the previous movies you look past that, and even enjoyed that because the overall plot was great. Here there were some good individual parts, but the whole plot was just not Indiana Jones worthy. My friend and I just kept looking at each other like "What is going on?"
I'll guess I'll give this thing 2 stars. It was a bad movie, but I liked it, if that makes sense. Still has the Indy music. A few of my friends were real upset, saying it tarnished the Indiana Jones legacy and one said he would just pretend it never even happened. I wouldn't go that far. For me, I'm glad I saw it, but it definitely did not live up to expectations. I would recommend seeing it at a matinée so you don't have to pay much, and go with very low hopes.
Tony Brown

Personal Sports Woes

So, the other day, I gave my list of Wisconsin Sports Despair. That got me thinking about my own personal sports despair, most of it coming from high school, much more heart wrenching.
My high school sports history was rather interesting as I went to school at an inner city Milwaukee Public School and played soccer and tennis. Suffice to say, Milwaukee Public Schools are not a hot bed for soccer and tennis. I'm pretty sure my junior and senior season of tennis I did not lose a set in conference tennis. But I digress.
Here's a few of my more memorable ones. Lost with 5 seconds left and 41 seconds and in overtime my freshmen year of soccer. Freshman year hurt my knee before a big tournament by hitting it on sewer cover while juggling. Sophomore year red card in the same tournament. Sophomore year tennis, one win away from going to the state tournament, lead the first set 4-1 lose, lead the second set 5-2 40-00 and lose. After the match I kick my partner's water bottle onto the court next to us, it opens, splashes water all over the court. I say, "We should've won that fucking match." I get kicked out of the tournament. Junior year overtime soccer loss which cost us the conference title.

But one story in particular stand out. It comes from my last high school soccer game. Let's just say that my senior year of soccer was pretty disappointing. I had loads of potential, making varsity my freshman year and honorable mention all-conference my sophomore year. But I never even got close to living up to that potential.
So our first regional game is against a suburban school. They are decent, but very beatable. We have a lot of injuries. We're playing on their weak field. It's a night game, a pretty good crowd for a soccer game. We start off well. I make a great run from my central defense position and assist our first goal in the 14th minute or so. We're excited. They come back and score two goals right before half. In the second half I get a bit more aggressive and push up more. I was fouled pretty much everytime I got the ball, probably 10 times and was marked pretty closely. Anyways, we never really had a close chance in that half. We lose 2-1. At the final whistle I bend over in despair. The other team's fan's start taunting me. Really. Just me. "Go home and cry #18" "It's all over Tony, why don't you cry about it" That probably wasn't the right thing to say to me at the time. I go into a bit of a berserker rage and run over to the stands, JUMP the fence and get into the face of the people taunting me. "If you got something to say, say it to my face" I keep saying, getting chest to chest with a bunch of the other teams fans, mostly football players. A bunch of my friends from the stand come running over to get my back, even my brother, and the only one of my teammates that comes over was the one with the broken foot. Things are about to jump off, but the kids stop trash-talking and I cool down. That's it. No fight.
The ironic thing was, they were right, I did cry after the game.
Thug Life.

Wisconsin Sports Despair

I can across a Sports Illustrated Article the other day about the disappointment of sports fans in Philadelphia. Apparently they have gone 100 seasons (professional sports only) without a championship. Check it out - Philly Futility
Their last championship was 1983. But that got me thinking about Milwaukee sports heartbreaks. The Brewers haven't made the playoffs since I've been alive. The last professional championship was 1971, but of course, we do not have 4 teams like Philly. I then expanded my sports heartbreaks the whole State of Wisconsin and started to get pretty depressed. I am one of those people who remembers the loses much more vividly than the wins. So I've put together my own list of Wisconsin Sports Heartbreaks. I'll concentrate mostly on the last dozen years, you know the things I actually remember. Enjoy.


21. Just Short- This is definitely a Milwaukee special here. George Webb is a popular area 24-hour diner. They have had an on-going promotion where they predict the Brewers will win 12 straight. Nobody knew what would happen until the Brewers won 13 straight in 1987 and everyone got free burgers! Wow. So in 2003, in the midst of another horrible season, the Brewers put together 10 straight wins. The city was abuzz anticipating free burgers. But, the streak was ended by the Cubs at Wrigley Field. Damn.
Heart broken. Stomach Empty.


20. Ray Allen Trade- Ray Allen, Milwaukee fan favorite gets traded for Gary Payton in 2003. This was the last ditch effort to take advantage of a good team. Gary Payton ended up playing about 20 games and led the Bucks to a first round playoff lose. The team has never recovered from the lose of Ray.


19. Robert "Tractor" Traylor- This one is mostly hindsight, but even at the time, you had to know Tractor Traylor wasn't going to be a great NBA player. I mean, he's fat. But who knew Dirk Nowitski was going to be so great? Just imagine the team with Dirk, Big Dawg, Sam Cassell, and Ray. Wow. Big Four.


18. 1981 Brewers - This is one I mostly heard about from my Mom. It has to do with the strike split season in 1981. Apparently the Brewers had by far the best record in the second half of the season and the better overall record, but had to play the Yankees in a playoff because the won the first half of the season. The Brewers lost of course and didn't make the playoffs until the next year. Sounds about right.

17. The Last Piece of the Puzzle- The year is 2001. The Bucks are coming off a heartbreaking conference Championship loss to the Sixers, but also a super promising year. Their solution to overcome the hump - Anthony Mason. I admit it, I was pretty stoked at the time, thought he would be the inside presence we needed. Boy, was I wrong. He came in fat, and stayed fat, slow, and lazy all season. He totally disrupted the flow of our game.
So how did Mason help out the Bucks? 2002, didn't even make the playoffs.


16. Packers home playoff loss- I've always hated the Vikings more than any team. They have been the Packers' biggest rival since I've been a fan, mostly due to the even match-ups between the two. But I guess I wasn't really into the Packer's this season. It was a tough loss, but I barely remember the game. Mostly I remember the Randy Moss Moon. Man. 15. Best Team Never to Make it to a Final? - Apparently, the Milwaukee Bucks were a force to be reckoned with in the 80's. They went to the playoffs every year of the 1980's winning 7 straight division titles, but never made it to the finals. They lost to Seattle in 7 games in '80, Philly in 7 games in '81, Philly in 6 in '82, Philly in 5 in the '83 conference finals, Boston in the '84 conference finals, Philly again in 85, Boston again in the '86 conference finals, and then Boston in 7 games in 87.
Man, always the brides maid, but I would definitely take Conference final Appearance for the Bucks in the next few years.

14. The Lambeau Mystique? - The Green Bay Packers had NEVER lost a home playoff game. 8-0 at home on the year. Brett Favre had never lost under 30 degrees. It was January and snowing against the dome-team Atlanta Falcons. Things were looking good. But looks were far from the truth. At nights end, the Packer's streaks were done. A 27-7 loss. Wow, there goes the Lambeau mystique. And Green Bay has never really captured it back.
But Atlanta's amazing quarterback is currently sitting in jail after running dog-fighting rings, so I guess I'll take the loss.


13. Brewers Management - Let's face it, the 1990's were a rough decade for the Brewers, and that may be an understatement. Much if it was due to horrible personal moves. Bud Selig baby. Wow, he was bad. I'm sure every team can look back on the bad moves they made, but for the Brewers, it just seems astonishing. Here's just a few of them.
Break out years after leaving the Brewers - John Jaha, Dante Bichette, B.J. Surhoff, Paul Moliter, Gary Sheffield, even Troy O'Leary.
Horrible pick-ups - Jeffery Hammonds, Chuckie Carr, Marquis Grissom, Glendon Rusch, Henry Blanco, Gerald Williams.
And I am sure many, many more.

12. Pacers Series Losses - 1999 and 2000. This was a fun time for the Bucks. There was really the sense of improvement and the feeling that something big would soon happen. I remember George Karl getting standing ovations. Unfortunately, both of these years we ran into the top seeded Indiana Pacers. Both series were good fights, especially the second one, with Indiana winning the deciding game 5 with a late 3 pointer from Travis Best. Man, Travis Best. But the play of the Bucks even made Reggie Miller cordial, saying "The better team lost the series."

11. Badgers Start 9-0. - This was a big one for me, but might not be remembered as well by most people. It was my junior of college, my first year living off campus. We lived right on Dayton Street. Lots of great pre-game parties (beer bongs, quarters, Beirut, a great pre-game CD). Look at our support below. (That's a nice looking B) Just an awesome time/place. Plus, the Badgers, who weren't supposed to be great that year, started out an incredible 9-0. They were ranked 4th in the country. There was talk about a national championship. We squeaked out a win at Arizona. Beat Ohio State convincingly at the Horse Shoe and Scott Starks amazing sack/fumble recovery TD over Kyle Orton and Purdue. But it all came viciously crashing down in the 10th game. At Michigan State we got crushed 49-14. A particular Michigan St, goal stance at the end of the first half sticks out in my brain. And a week later, we still had a chance to get to the Rose Bowl, but again were crushed, this time 30-7 against Iowa. The great season ended with an Outback Bowl loss to Georgia.
What could have been.

10. TO catch- I can still see TO's crying ass face after his last second TD catch from Steve Young in the Packer's 1998 wild-card loss to the 49ers. He wasn't well known back then, but I've hated him ever since. Many have joined the hate-wagon since. Jerry Rice's fumble helped bring back instant reply. Mike Holgren's last game. All and all a tough day.

9. Losses to the Cowboys - Green Bay Packer losses to the Dallas Cowboys were just a given part of my childhood. 3 times in the playoffs including one Conference Championship. Three regular season loses including the damn Jason Garrett Thanksgiving game. I hate the Cowboys still.

8. Brewers losing seasons- Another given in my childhood/high school years - the Brewers would suck. Yes, no doubt about it. Losing season 1994, 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004. Wow, that's a lot. I went to countless games at County Stadium and then Miller Park and listened to Bob Uecker pretty much every night. Many loses. Many, many loses. Trivia, what Brewer is pictured below?



7. '07 Collapse - That being said, I also remember that pretty much every year since 2002 was going to be "the year" for the Brewers. '06 was a bust, but '07 had to be it. I even made it to opening day. The excitement in Brew City was palpable, 24-10 best record in the league. But this is still fresh in the memory of you all I'm sure. Ben Sheets injury, horrible streak by Capuano, JJ Hardy drop in production, pretty much a bad 2nd half of the season. Taken over by the dreaded Chicago Cubs. So close, yet....


6. Badger Basketball -
I'm confident in saying the The Wisconsin Badger Basketball program is among the elite in the country. There is no doubt about it. Look at this decade. Awesome. But they are just not good enough to compete in March. This makes me very sad and angry. Just look at the last two years. Ever since my senior year 2006 I was talking up 2007 as the Year for the Badgers- Tucker, Taylor, Butch - pretty much telling everyone I know about them. I was feeling a Championship. We even got the #1 ranking. But a falter down the stretch we ended with a 2 seed and lost to UNLV in the second round. Such a disappointment. Then this past year was the opposite, no expectations. But a great season including a Big Ten outright championship and a Big Ten Tournament Championship, got hopes high again. I was feeling Final Four. It was looking good after dominating Beasley and Kansas St., but again we were brought up only to be let down hard, getting killed by Davidson. This one still hurts. Also, it made me realize that Bo Ryan and Wisconsin will never win a Championship or even go to the Final Four. We just don't have the athletes.
I still bleed Wisconsin Red, though!

5. Braves Leave Milwaukee - This should probably be number one, but it was so long ago. My parents still talk about it to this day. The Braves left Milwaukee in 1965 and the city did not have a professional sports team for a while. Yes, a big lose for the city. Hank Aaron breaks the record in an "A" hat instead of an "M". I can't image a team living. Sorry Seattle.


4. Big Dog Miss- 2001 conference finals, it's all knotted up 2 games apiece. Game 5 in Philadelphia is a back and forth affair. Eric Snow played with a fractured ankle. Bucks were down 1 Derrick Mckie misses two free throw. Glenn Robinson has a 12-foot jumper from the baseline with a second left. It's his shot.... looks good... Buck will control the series...rims out...damn.
Yes, this was the chance for the Bucks to go to the Championship. Will it happen again in my life time?

3. 2008 NFC Championship - This one still upsets me. At home against the Giants. We play pretty badly, still have a chance to win, blow it all. You know the story. I drank a lot that night, good thing I didn't have to work the next day.

2. 4th and 26- This one really makes me want to use the Lords name in vain. I'm serious. Look at that picture.
I can't talk about it. 4th and 26 has it's own wikipedia entry check that
Fuck.


1. Superbowl XXXII Loss - Man this one still hurts ten years later. Good thing I couldn't drink at the time. Haha. It's still a punch in the stomach. Man. I hate seeing Elway's horse-ass-face and his "incredible" first down run. It was so unbelievable at the time. Even when Holmgren let them score, even when it was fourth down, even after the pass to Chumura hit the ground, I still thought the Pack was going to win. Man. I still can't believe it.






There you go sports fans. It's great to be a Wisconsin sports fan, I'm not gonna lie. We talk about Super Bowl XXXI, 1982, 1977, Ron Dayne in the Rose Bowl, 1971, even 1957. I love it. It's a hard love to have, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. All these tragedies make the triumphs even sweeter. It's not just sports. It's life.

Ideas 2.0

Well, not much feedback from you guys. I'm a little disappointed (thanks Thorzul).
But I've come up with some ideas on my own and I'll give you a little preview of what to expect over the next few months. There is no set order on these things. I'm just getting you excited.

- Simpson's Best Episode Countdown - a very daunting task, somewhat like choices between 6 of one and a half a dozen of the other, though I do hate that phrase. But there are so many great episodes to choose from. I look forward to it.
- Today at the Olympics - This one won't happen for a while, but everyday I can, I will give the Tony Brown update of the Olympics. This will mainly be what I see on TV that day that interests me. This could be human interest stories, amazing performances, injuries, mistakes, weird fans, weird things about China, attractive women, and my betting. I strongly advice you to bet on the Olympics. It is one of the funnest things ever. Not like online or in Vegas or anything, but just with your friends. Bet a dollar on everything. Make it as arbitrary as possible. It works best for track and field and swimming. The rules are you can never pick the US and in those two events you cannot pick lanes 4,5, or 6, because they are the best times. So pick someone from an outside lane. Whoever finishes better between you and your friend(s) wins the money. I've had great luck in the past with Japanese swimmers and Bahamas runners. This arbitrary betting also works well for late night events you know nothing about - field hockey, judo, archery, and also crazy basketball and soccer games like Angola vs South Korea. Try it out.


- Euro 2008 - I'm not sure how many soccer fans read this, but I'll be updating you on the European Championships this summer. It is much like the World Cup, but just with Europe. And the final is being held at Arnold Schwarzenegger Stadium. Gotta love the Austrians.
- Star Wars/Lord of the Rings Final Four - Should be up tomorrow or Wednesday.
- Montana- I'll try to post some pictures of where I live/what I do. Might be boring to most, but now that the weather is nice, the place is pretty cool.
- Randomness - do not worry, the randomness will continue
- Bus Tour - Do not worry, the bus tour will continue. Hopefully I'll get out on it before the summer is done.
- Survivor Audition - I plan on trying out for Survivor again and I'll try to post the video on here. That should provide you with two to three minutes of entertainment.
- Politics - It's a big year. I'll keep you updated on all the inside info including Vampire candidates, scandals, and other stuff. Actually, I work in Politics, so I probably won't write about it here.

That's on the agenda, plus a few other random things. Again, I am open to suggestions to anything you would like me to write about.

Ideas

So, it doesn't look like I'll be back out on the bus for at least a couple more months.
Survivor is done.
The Lord of the Rings/Star Wars tourney is winding down.
I didn't win Shaq Attaq pinball.
The English Premier League ended Sunday.
My soccer team starts this weekend, but it's in Milwaukee, and I'm in Montana.
So what am I going to write about?

Most likely I"ll just write about the same randomness I have in the past. You know, whatever strikes my fancy. I could do more tournaments with polls and things. I could do more countdowns, like the sports movie ones. I could pick some sort of theme, like rap song lyrics, power hour songs, comic books and write mainly about that. I could update you on the happenings in Montana. I could write about politics and news. Eh, probably not. But let me know. I need some ideas. Tell me what works, and what doesn't. We need to keep this thing strong over the summer.
Holla.

Survivor Finale

Another season of Survivor has come and gone. What was this, number 16? Wow. Lots of good times. Jeff Probst called this one of the most exciting seasons yet. I'm not sure if I agree with him. I didn't like the fans vs. favorites theme. When people already know each other the game is totally different. There were tons of back stabs and blind sides which made the game interesting, but maybe there was too much strategy. Someone like Chet and maybe even Cirie should be voted out right away. Did getting rid of Joel really help the team? And James and Jonathon, two of my favorite players, both had to be taken off due to medical reasons. Man.
On Thursday night I had a pretty strange dream about Parvati and Amanda. I'll spare you the details, but I should have known they would be the final two. In the end, I was totally rooting for Amanda. I feel she deserved it more. Two seasons in a row, two finals, lots of challenge wins, two tough losses.
Yeah, so some quality TV again. Even in a season I don't particularly like, it is still my favorite show on television and something I look forward to watching. Look for me to be on 2 seasons from now. I'm feeling the Survivor producers will get their heads out of their ass and put me on the show. I feel I have America's backing. What will my occupation be? Political worker, bus-around-the-country passenger, blogger? Can't wait.

Brewers

Well, it's time for me to say a thing or two about the Brewers. Of course, I've been saying for a long time that with was going to be our season. I even left work early on Opening Say just to watch the game on TV. I mean look at the line-up Weeks, Hardy, Braun, Fielder, Hart, Hall- so many young hitters, plus the arrival of Cameron for veteran leadership. And the pitching looked better than decent with lots of youth plus fragile Ben Sheets and a slew of quality relievers. Things were looking great indeed. 2008 is the year of the Brewers.

And look at us on May 9th - 16-18, 4th in the Division, 6 game losing streak including sweeps by the Astros and Marlins. Man. The Brewers look like a bad team. Let's quickly dissect what is going wrong.

1. Offense- The Brewers simply are not scoring runs. That's pretty easy to see. It is not just one person, but everyone. Batting the pitcher 8th actually seems to be helping. Some say as Prince goes, so goes the Brewers. I disagree with that. I mean it would help loads if he was hitting like last year, but look at Hardy, look at Hart, look at Hall all are playing vastly below their levels.
Way to fix it? Not sure of changing the line-up will help at all. I'm hoping that getting hot will be contagious. I'll calling out J.J. Hardy to get his shit together and start the dominoes.

2. Gagne/Turnbow - I'm pinning this one more on Gagne than Turn-blow. 5 blown saves? Wow. The league record is 14. Just think, if we win one of those that we lost (I think we lost 3 0f the 5) we are .500, if we win two, we are two games above 500. Big difference.
I like Torres, Mota, and Riske, but I don't think any of them are long-term closers. So again, do we just ride the wave?

3. Jeff Suppan - 1-2 with a 5.22 ERA, not horrible numbers, but not what you want from your number two man, which he was at the start of the season without Gallardo and now is again. This one I am worried about.

4. I'm in Montana - yep, is it karma, or is it because I am not there to cheer our boys on?
I'm thinking this will actually be the reason for the Brewers upcoming turnaround. The Brewers are bound to go to the playoffs.


So how do we change these things? I don't really know. I am confident, though, that the Brewers are a good team, possibly a great team. They will turn themselves around. I feel they do need a catalyst, something to fire them up. Maybe a fight or a walk of homer or something like the Prince/Capps thing from last year.
I do not know, but I'm calling the turnaround starting tonight (or maybe tomorrow because I'm not sure if the Brewers will get a chance to read this by gametime) . You heard it here.
We love the Crew!