Biggest Movie Douchebags

Alright, I've decided to put together a list of the biggest douchebags in movies. It's a tough list to compile. For one, it's sometimes hard to define a d-bag, and two, there are so many of them out there in cinema. For my purposes, a douchebag is a jerk and an a-hole with a horrible personality that somehow thinks themself awesome and superior to everyone else.
So you'll have some characters that are jerks and awful and you totally hate, but they aren't really d-bags, sometimes they are even worse, but not D-Bags. Think the Nazi guy in Schindler's List, Commodus in Gladiator, and and Bob Ewell in To Kill a Mockingbird. Horrible characters and fit some of the criteria, but something else more complex is going on there.
The D-bag is also pretty formulaic. They usually aren't in great movies, but comedies and sports movies where you need a super hateable villain.
Make sense? Oh, you know what a douchebag is.


Honorable Mention: Joey in 10 Things I Hate About You, the Black Panther Boyfriend in Forest Gump, the towns people in Hoosiers, Remember the Titans, and Radio, the owner in Major League - gosh, why would you not want your team to win, and the crazy badass Indian in Last of the Mohicans. That guy was such a douche even his fellow Indians called him out. Ouch




15.) Old Mom - Goonies

Um, I heard someone say women can't be d-bags, but I think not. Have you seen this movie? She is a d-bag. Just hateful, super unlikeable. Horrible mother, wants to kill young kids. Her two normal sons obviously have some emotional problems, possibly slight learning disabilities. Her other son, possibly with some physical abnormalities/hideous disfigurements is locked in the basement. Wow, that is horrible. And she is u-g-l-y.




14.) William Tavington/Lucius Malfoy- The Patriot/Harry Potter

I went for the Jason Isaacs double here. He is very good at playing a douchebag. Lucius Malfoy is obvious, but I think the role in The Patroit is even better. He is such a dandy! and you hate him so much for killing Mel Gibson's kids. Gosh. I'm getting fired up just thinking about it. Congratulations Jason Isaacs, you are a douchebag!


13.) Captain Bligh- Mutiny on the Bounty
Well, I watched this movie on Sunday. I was hoping for the Mel Gibson/Anthony Hopkins version, but ended up with the Marlon Brando version. Either way Captain Bligh is a huge douche. Man. What a dick! Just not a nice man, horrible leader, and just bad on all accounts. Watch the movie if you can, either one.



12.) Biff - Back to the Future


The classic bully-douchebag. Man this guy thinks he is so cool, but really sucks. Even as like a 90 year-old man he is still a huge douche, and when he was rich, man, even worse, killing Marty's dad and marrying his wife. D-B Hates manure.



11.) Prince Humperdinck - The Princess Bride

Yes, a classic d-bag. A dandy indeed. Steals a woman he wants. Lies to her. Kills her true love.
Tries to marry her real fast. Lies to her some more. Jerk,



10.) Italians - Breaking Away

Italians are douchebags, it is true. Haha, not always, but at least in this case. For those of you who haven't seen Breaking Away, it's about a cyclist, who idolizes Italian racers. He learns Italian, sings Opera, even shaves his legs to be like the Italians. Then the Italians are coming to his home area and he is SUPER excited. He is doing great in the race. It's just him and the Italians in the front and they jam a metal rod into his spokes and he crashes like crazy. Man, totally dreams lost. D-bag Italians, just like almost dying from a headbutt.


9.) Eric - Billy Madison

Yes, another d-bag I love.

Carl: I ate some Triscuit crackers in the car, you should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you told me they were delicious Triscuit crackers I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, "sorry" doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach now, does it Karl?

Priceless. Plus the weasel laugh. Gotta love it. And the weird balls, and going crazy over business ethics.


8.) 0'Bannion - Dazed and Confused

The stereotypical high school d-bag. Good role for Ben Affleck. Paddle and everything. Got the paint in the end.
Also seems so much more of a d-bag because Matthew McConnaughey was so cool.





7.) Deans - Animal House and Old School

This may be an injustice to dean Wormer, but Jeremy Piven's character is obviously based on him. These guys are both definitely haters. What's wrong with fun. Both got theirs in the end, but the one in Old School's wife did not sleep with one of the students. Dang.
P.S. I also considered Craig Kilbourn's character from Old School, definitely a d-bag, but I kind of liked him.




6.) Principal - Ferris Beuller's Day Off

Seriously, what did this guy have up his ass? Why did he have such a hard-on for Ferris? Man, you are the Principal Rooney, worry about your school and not just one kid. Thanks to Charlie Sheen for Ferris's sister not being on the list.
P.S. I believe this guy (the actor not the principal, well, maybe him too) is a sex offender now.



5.) Warden - Shawshank Redemption
This guy my not seem to much like a d-bag on the surface, but he fits the bill. Stealing tax money, turning a blind eye to all prison abuse, putting Andy in the hole for refusing to work for him, and worst killing the young prisoner that could've proven Andy was innocent. He stayed true to his d-bag ways until the end and did not even take the rap for what he did. Instead, he killed himself. Douchebag.



4.) Cal Hockley - Titanic
Look at this mutherfucker. You can already see douchebag. And his name pretty much lets you know the deal too. I don't remember too much from the movie except for him KIDNAPPING A BABY to get onto a rescue boat. Damn d-bag.



3.) Family - Million Dollar Baby
These people made me angry when I saw the movie, might not be d-bags by definition, but I really wanted to punch these people in the stomach. First off Maggie's family didn't really care for her growing up. And two instances were pretty horrible. One when Maggie bought her mother a new house and she pretty much told her she hated it because of all the taxes and wow, sucked. And two, when Maggie is paralyzed and depressed in the hospital, her family only visits her for 5 minutes, all decked out in their gear from Disney World. Dang, I've done a horrible job describing these events, but if you saw the movie you should hate them too.



2.) Sensi - Karate Kid

Wow! This guy is great. Such a huge douchebag. A great movie character. There is potential from a number of douchebags in Karate Kid - Johnny, Tommy, Dutch- but they all get it from this guy. True colors are seen when Daniel wins the tournament and Jonny congratulates him and John Kreese, that's his name in the movie, punches out two windows. Yes.

Kreese: Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it?
Karate Class: NO, SENSEI!
Kreese: Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it?
Karate Class: NO, SENSEI!
Kreese: Defeat does not exist in this dojo, does it?
Karate Class: NO, SENSEI!

We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the streets, in competition: A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy.

Kreese: What do we study here?
Karate Class: THE WAY OF THE FIST SIR.
Kreese: And what is that way?
Karate Class: STRIKE FIRST. STRIKE HARD. NO MERCY SIR.
Kreese: I can't hear you.
Karate Class: STRIKE FIRST. STRIKE HARD. NO MERCY SIR.

This is a karate dojo, not a knitting class. You don't come into my dojo, drop a challenge and leave, old man. Now you get your boy on the mat, or you and I will have a major problem.

Kreese: Bobby - I want him out of commission.
Bobby: But Sensei, I can beat this guy!
Kreese: I don't want him beaten.
Bobby: But I'll be disqualified!
Kreese: [icily] Out of commission.



1.) Walter Peck - Ghosterbusters
"It's true, this man has no dick."
I believe Walter Peck's sole purpose in the movie was to be a d-bag. He has all the criteria, an asshole who thinks he is better than everyone else, and causes harm to the leading characters for no reason. This guy just epitomizes douche. Man, the suit, the language, the arrest of the ghostbusters and busting out of the warrent, taking his job WAY too seriously. Man. You hate him from the instant he is on the screen.

Walter Peck: Hold it! I want this man arrested! Captain, these men are in criminal violation of the Environmental Protection Act! And this explosion is a direct result of it!
You hate him so much you gotta love him.

In the end was doused with scalding hot marshmallow, was probably funny in the movie, but looking back in it, he was probably very badly burned.