Mordor Barcket

Wow, the Mordor bracket is stacked! Look at these matchups- Balrog/ Galadriel Shelob/Gollum Eowyn/ Grand Moff Tarkin, King Theoden as 6 seed. Man. I mean the World Cup has its "Group of Death" and that must be the case here. Fitting for Mordor I guess.




1.Darth Vader: Baddest of the bad, evilest of the evil. And thanks to 6 movies, you know pretty much everything about his life, so I don't have to say more.

16: Jango Fett: Boba's dad, army of clones made from him. Got his head cut off by Mace Windu.



9. Balrog: Well, this picture really doesn't do justice. Just watch this part of the movie. Definitely in my top 3 in the entire trilogy. Great scene on the bridge. Wow! Apparently Balrog is one of the oldest demons, servant of Sauron's original master. Watch out, he's got some long whips.

8. Galadriel: Pretty powerful elf, bearer of one of the original rings of power. One of those people around for all the action in Middle-Earth. But you don't want to get on her bad side, as seen when she went crazy on Frodo and the ring. "My, what a lovely singing voice you must have."




5. Qui-Gon Jinn: I really like Liam Neeson and Qui-Gon was a good character, a great example of what a Jedi should be. I wish he would've been around longer.

12. Arwen: To tell you the truth, I'm not really sure what she did in the movies. And she's not that cute. OVERRATED Clap-Clap Clap-clap-clap


13. General Grievous: Weird Robot General with light-saber in Eposide III. Good fighter, but not really sure I totally understand his role in the movie.

4.Frod0: The ring-bearer. A tough job. I mean, Frodo was kind of tender a lot of the time, but in the end, he got the job done. Saved Middle-Earth. Nice




3. Gollum: Gollum/Smegol/Stinker, don't trust this cat. He'll kill. He'll bite of fingers. He'll be your friend. He'll back stab, anything to get his "precious". Just a little tip, he should probably just shave his head already. The comb over just isn't working.

14. Shelob: Huge Spider, Scary.




10. Grand Moff Tarkin: One of the few Imperials to keep Vader in check. Man, he was so evil, but also so cool. He was like the Steve McQueen of evil, real old guys. He blew up a planet. And after him, the Imperial army was pretty weak. Beginning of their downfall.

7. Eowyn: Now this is a woman I can like. You think she is all innocent and cute and then bam, she defying the king and going to battle. You think she's gonna be a liability and them bang, she avengers the king. She killed the Witch King and the Nazgul. Damn. "I am no man!" Yeah, I'm cool wit dat.

6. King Theoden: Has there ever been a more intense transformation in movie history? Well maybe Aladdin to Prince Ali or Robin Williams to Mrs. Doubtfire, but this was pretty intense. Just look at him in Two Towers before Gandalf frees him. Old and decrepit, pretty much lifeless. Then afterwards, the epitome of a king. His get hype speeches before the big battles were great. They made me want to throw on a helmet and grab a sword. A very underrated character.

11. Eomer: One of those Rohan guys with long hair. Good at riding horses. My become the next king , not really sure. Matched up against his uncle I think. Watch out.

15. Bib Fortuna: Jabba's assistant/advisor/doorman I guess. He is a Twi'lek, and from the books I read and some of the dancers in the movies, apparently Twi'leks are very alluring to human, kind of like Asian women to white men. But I don't really see it.

2. Obi-Wan Kenobi: We're going for Episode 2 and 3 Obi-Wan here. The Jedi in this prime. Pre-getting old an leaving to hide, post weird one long strand of hair. Think the only Jedi that survived Order 66. Think the fight against evil Anakin, the one where he makes him a quadriplegic. Yeah, that one.

Hoth Bracket

Hoth Bracket is pretty cold. 8/9 and 7/10 matchups are big.


1.Aragorn: Pretty much the man in every way- fighting, leading, courage, ladies love him, king, friend. Wow. What more can I say?

16. Nien Numb: Weird looking alien pilot who helped Lando bring down the second Death Star.
Obscure Star Wars Trivia: Niem Numb's niece later became a member of Rogue Squadron. (Yeah, I know a lot of useless junk)


9. Boba Fett: The one who got Han Solo. Set up a nice plan with Vader which almost got everybody. Went down to the Sarlac Pit in Return of the Jedi, but look at the whole package. He looks pretty cool and I like bounty hunters.

8. Mace Windu: Samuel L. baby. A wise Jedi. Not really sure how I felt about him until he started fighting. Kicked ass in the Battle Royale in Episode II. And in Revenge of the Sith, he totally was kicking Emperor Palpatine's ass in their fight. Then Anakin came in and you know.





5. Treebeard: Don't get this tree-man-thing angry. The Ents storming of Orthanc was one of my favorite parts of all the movies. Ents are pretty tight man.

12.Darth Maul: Darth Maul had a lot of potential. A lot. He looked cool, had the double lightsaber and all. I even went on a "man-date" to see the movie. But it just didn't work. He was too much and not enough at the same time. He did kill Qui-Gon, though.




13. Grima Wormtongue: Another scary, ugly cat. Worked for Saruman and had King Theoden and Rohan under wraps for a while.

4. The Emperor: Pretty scary. Ugly, powerful, manipulative, able to shoot out lightning bolts from his hands. And all this was definitely added to by episodes 1-3. He pretty much single handedly brought down the entire Republic, using Darth Maul, Count Dooku and Anakin/Vader as pawns and don't forget Order 66. Could use some skin care products, though



3. Saruman:Another badass mother. Head of the wizard council. Has a pretty nice home. Makes his own orcs. Wish I knew more of his history. Things didn't turn out the best for him, but anyone that can rival Gandalf is pretty powerful.

14. Wicket: Yub-Yub muthafucker



11. Witch King of Angmar (aka head dark rider):Pretty raw and scary, not sure how he got his ring or how he became the lead Dark Rider, but if he had a wallet I'm sure it would have BMF on it. But he was defeated by a hobbit and a woman.

6. Old Ben Kenobi: The old Jedi. Lots of famous lines. Taught Luke about the Force. Sacrificed himself at the end came back blue.


7. Boromir: Just like his brother, he was a much better character in the books. He had much more depth and honor. But in the movie his death scene was pretty raw. Get 'em Sean Bean.

10. Queen Amadala: I'm sure how I feel about her. She's hot in the picture. She gave birth to Jedi twins. She was kind of a good queen in the first movie. She fought pretty well in the second. But overall, she was kind of a damsel in distress


15. Dr. Evazan: "He doesn't like you. I don't like you either. We're wanted men. I have a death sentence, on 12 systems." Luke "Ok, I'll be careful" "You'll be dead!" And then Obi-Wan comes in and kills him, or at least cuts his arm off. Jacked up.
Obscure Star Wars Trivia: name in original script and movie credits was just 'Grubby Human'

2. Yoda: I didn't go with old yoda and older yoda, cuz 40 years to a 900 year old alien isn't much (900 years old you be look so good you will not, hm) and he was pretty awesome in all the movies he was in. I mean, I did not expect his crazy lightsaber skills in episode II, but his whole character in Empire Strikes back was pretty nice too.

Seeds

Here's the rest of the seeds for the Start Wars/LOTR Tournament. More in depth scouting reports will follow.

Hoth
1.Aragorn
2. Yoda
3. Saruman
4.Emperor
5.Treebeard
6.Old Ben Kenobi
7.Boromir
8.Mace Windu
9. Boba Fett
10. Queen Amadala
11. Witch King of Agmar (aka lead Dark Rider)
12. Darth Maul
13.Grima Wormtongue
14.Wicket
15.Nien Numb
16.Dr. Evazan


Mordor
1.Darth Vader
2.Obi-Wan
3.Gollum
4.Frodo
5.Qui-Gon Jinn
6.King Theoden
7.Eowyn
8.Galadriel
9.Balrog
10.Grand Moff Tarkin
11.Eomer
12.Arwen
13.General Grievous
14. Shelob
15.Bib Fortuna
16.Jango Fett

Shire Bracket

Gandalf gets to stay in the relative friendly confinds of the Shire. Will that help him out? We shall see. Very top heavy bracket


1. Gandalf: White or Grey, dead or alive, Gandalf is pretty amazing. He is a warrior, a general, a wizard, a mentor. Yes. And he beat the Balrog.

16. Uncle Owen: Won the play-in-game with Aunt Veru. Enjoy it while it lasts. Uncle Owen was pretty much a grump, not letting Luke join the Academy, lying to him about his parents and not letting him go to the Toshi Station to pick up some power converters.

9. Jabba the Hutt: Fat and Powerful. Just look at his crazy posse.

8. R2-D2: Just a little robot who can't talk or walk really, but saved the day for Luke, Han, Leia, and Chewie multiple times.


5. Elrond: Pretty much the main man, or main elf. He was there when Isildur struck down Sauron. He is wise and smart and just has everything on lockdown.

12. Denethor: Pretty much an ass and a bad leader, but he did go out in a blaze of glory.


13. C-3PO: Gay robot.

4. Princess Leia: Quite the feminist at times- taking control on the Death Star and on Endor. But she did make out with her brother. Hmm?



3. Legolas: Pretty baller with that bow and arrow. And he's an elf, so he's good at pretty much everything. Probably the coolest action scenes in the movies.

14. Hoth Yeti: Hoth Yeti, least screen time for any of the tournament contestants.


11. Lobot: Another one for the hardcore Star Wars fan. Lobot was Lando's assistant at Cloud City. I don't know why, but I like him. I also remember the Doritos holographic disc of Lobot. Pretty much all it did was open his eyes. I mean he is connected to the computers and all.

6. Merry: Another hobbit. This one was a bit more hardcore, not afraid to fight and even take on the Witch King.

10. Faramir: Kind of weak in the movies, but better in the books, smarter too. Kind of sucks to have to be compared to his bro and the whole thing about his father wishing he had died instead was kind of rough. The suicide mission of Minis Morgol was pretty cool and he ended up with Eowyn in the end.

7. Pippen: "Fool of a Took", inclined to making mistakes as seen in the waking of the Balrog in Moria and looking into the Palantir. But he made up for it by saving Faramir, or at least getting Gandalf to save Faramir.

15. Biggs Darklighter: Luke's boyhood friend and wingmate in the first death star run. Dead, but nice 'stache.

2. Chewbacca: Yeah, the Wookie. Everyone's Favorite Star Wars alien.

Endor Bracket

Here we go, the start of the tourney. Luke and Han in the same bracket. Wow. Some good matchups - Count Dooku/Lando, Bilbo/Admiral Akbar, Sauron/Isildur rematch. Check em all out.


1. Han Solo: Bad-ass smuggler turned Rebel Alliance hero. Slick beyond measure. I really don't need to say much more about him.

16. Mon Mothma: She was the leader of the Rebel Alliance seen briefly in Return of the Jedi. She also provides an answer to the question "Were there lesbians a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away?"

9. Lando: Another badass turned hero. Lando turned Han, Leia, and Chewie over to Darth Vader, but then helped them escape and was the leader of the assault on the 2nd Death Star.

Best Smile in the Galaxy

8. Count Dooku: Sith Jedi who took Anakin and Obi-Wan to task in Episode II. He's a pretty powerful Jedi, with the blue lightning bolts coming out of the hands thing going on. His fight with Yoda was one of the coolest in either trilogy.

5. Sauron: The evil of all evils in Lord of the Rings. This is a tough one because he was so evil and caused so much destruction and war multiple times, but he didn't really have a physical form in the movie. I mean the Eye is scary, but how scary.? To give you a better idea, here are some of his alliases: Gorthaur the Cruel, Sauron the Deceiver, the Lord of the Earth, the Enemy, the Master, the Dark Power, the Dark Lord, the Lord of Mordor, the Dark Lord of Mordor, the Power of the Black Land, the Black Master, the Black One, the Lord of Barad-dur, the Lord of the Dark Tower, the Shadow, the Great Eye, the Red Eye, the Eye of Barad-dur, the Lidless Eye, the Evil Eye, the Unnamed, the Nameless. Yeah.

12. Isildur: LOTR king from the old age, the one who defeated Sauron (REMATCH) cutting the ring from his hand with the broken sword, but did not destroy the ring while he had the chance.

13. Greedo: Gotta watch out for the blaster under the table.

4. Anakin Skywalker: As you can see, I'm not going with the pod-racing-little-boy-Anakin or the crazy-red-eyes-wanting-to-kill-Obi-wan-Anakin. I'm going more for the just-slaughtered-the Sandpeople-not-just-the-men-but-the-women-and-the-children-too-Anakin.


3. Sam: Sam pretty much did all the work getting the ring to Mount Doom. He literally carried Frodo. Samwise the Brave. Followed him into the river eventhough he couldn't swim and came back to Frodo after he sided with Gollum. "A promise Mr. Frodo, a promise"

14. Jar-Jar Binks: I'm not even gonna put up a picture of this cat.


6. Bilbo Baggins: The Hobbit who started it all.

11. Admiral Akbar: Pretty freakish, but led the Battle of Endor. Could help playing on home turf. "All Forest"

10. Wedge Antilles: Here is one for the hardcore fan. For those of you that don't know, Wedge is a Rebel Pilot that was in all three movies! He survived the first Death Star, Hoth, and the Second Death Star. The only man to survive both Death Star runs. While Luke was off playing with Daddy, Wedge hit the shot that allowed Lando to take down the Second Death Star. Wedge is my darkhorse here, kind of like Davidson. He just has that everyman quality. He is also responsible for one of the most famous lines in the movie, when first approaching the Death Star: "Look at the size of that thing." (That's what she said)

7. Gimli: He doesn't like to be grabbed by his beard or be tossed.


15. Bail Organa: Jimmy Smits. (that guy in the background seems to have a thyroid problem)

2. Luke: Wait who was he? Oh yeah, the one who always saved the day.

Star Wars/Lord of the Rings Madness

Wow, it's already the last day of March. To continue the March Madness theme, I've decided to put together another bracket. This time, it's a non-holds barred, 64 player throwdown. It is also by far the dorkiest thing I have ever done. I mean, I've called myself out before for being a dork, but after this, there is no doubt, no hiding from it, no ever, ever denying it. In fact, if there was a dork convention I might be president.
Welcome to Dorksville, USA Population: Me

But c'mon, it kind of makes sense. Right? A huge bracket with characters from two of the greatest movie franchises ever. People have often tried to compare Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. It's a tough task. But how would Aragorn fair against Han Solo? or Gandalf against Obi-wan? or Merry vs. Pippen? These are important (Grade-A dork) questions. Nows the time you can help develop the answers.'
It's pretty simple. 64 characters in single elimination "matchups" to determine the best character of the bunch. Vote for who you like best I guess, not who would win in a fight, just who you think is the best character. Again, vote by posting or by email. I'll try to mess with some poll stuff for later rounds. 4 regions are Endor, Hoth, Mordor, and the Shire. My coolness never ceases to amazing. So vote, have fun, pick some upsets, but definitely check it out because this is by far the most work I have ever put into a post.

March Madness Thoughts

So, today is the last day of March. I was fully engulfed in March Madness until Friday when Stephen Curry and a bunch of white boys were raining threes from everywhere to beat my beloved Badgers. So another year, another disappointment, but that is part of the Madness.
I've decided to share a few thoughts on the first two weeks of the tournament.

- I'm pretty sure I could make Stephen Curry Cry with one hard foul.
- All #1 seeds - great teams, but kinda boring
- Memphis is not overrated
- Pretty much every year I regret filling out brackets, one because I always mess up badly, two, because it makes me root for teams I don't want to. Case in point UCLA/Texas A&M
- Joe Alexander is pretty sick
-My new favorite player (for like a day) is (was) Jamie Smalligan of West Virginia. Just look at him. Great. Horseshoe.
- My new favorite player as of Thursday night- James Keefe of UCLA. He is a bench player who had a career high in points and rebounds in the Sweet Sixteen, 10 points more than his previous college high and 5 more rebounds. And then he followed that up Saturday with a 0 point 1 rebound performance. And he is one of those players that announcers LOVE. Verne Lundquist was on his nuts. He was player of the game despite Kevin Love's 30 points/14 rebounds. Hustling white boy, pretty sexy plus he's got the James Bond-esque chest hair sneaking out of his jersey. Definitely what March is all about.
- Gus Johnson and bill Rafferty are vastly entertaining. Much, Much better than Jim Nantz and Billy Packer. I wish we could get Raffery or Johnson for the Final Four.
- A lot of cheerleaders look like they're about 12 years old.
- Duke sucks
- there is nothing like college basketball